Withering Dawn
by sup phyl
Summary: The Duke of Crowborough is back to cause trouble, as his arrival sparks off a chain of events which result in heart break, confusion, misery, and dare I say desire. Set post S3. Unfortunately I cannot take credit for the characters, this must go to Julian Fellowes.
1. Guess Who's Back

This is my first fanfic so be gentle please, although reviews; positive or negative will be much appreciated. I would like to thank you all in advance for taking the time to read my work, and I apologise if there are any spelling/ grammar mistakes. I know this will not be as good as other fanfics out there but I hope you all enjoy reading my humble effort, since you will be the first to read any kind of writing I have done. Any suggestions for later chapters, should they occur, would also be welcome, and I'll see what I can do :) Thank you again.

Warning for Series 3 spoilers.

* * *

"Michael. My dear fellow." Lord Grantham greeted the Duke of Crowborough as he stepped out of the car which had just stopped on the gravel driveway before the main entrance to Downton Abbey. The Duke removed his hat to reveal dark brown hair, slicked back to shine in the sun which bore down upon him as he came over to greet the Crawley family, absent of Lady Mary who had not left the walls of Downton since Matthew's funeral. The staff had also turned out in ceremony for the arrival of their illustrious guest. Holding a solemn expression on his face the Duke took the hand of his Lordship to convey his deepest sympathies, for although it had been three months since Matthew's untimely death the Duke had not yet been received at Downton Abbey to make his condolences felt and, the young heir's passing still caused grief throughout the household.

"Robert. I'm so sorry. What a terrible terrible thing," The Duke shook his head with the utmost sincerity.

"Yes." Lord Grantham nodded, little more needing to be said.

"It must be hard to bear. Especially after young Lady Sybil." The Duke spoke carefully, hoping his words did not cause more grief than he had already been forced to bring.

Lord Grantham closed his eyes in remembrance of that fateful night but kept his posture, "It has been some time now but that night is still fresh in our memory. Her death only makes this one so much harder."

"I can imagine. How is Mary?" The Duke had not neglected to notice her absence, but seeing as the nature of his previous visit to the house involved his seeking Mary's hand in hope of becoming an heir of Downton, he felt it prudent to make his voice seem unwillingly to broach the subject of the young widow, in fear that his intention at the house that day were to be misconstrued.

"She's strong, on the outside. Inside, I'm not so sure." Robert replied.

"She was always good at hiding her emotions." All the more true now she has chosen an Abbey to hide them within.

"I don't know how she'd be without the baby. Then again I don't know if the child is company for her or just a harsh reminder of what she has lost. What we have all lost." Robert hung his head sadly.

"I hope my stay isn't putting you to any trouble, because I can make other arrangements." The Duke raised his eyebrows and gestured back to the car which was waiting obediently should his Lordship wish for the Duke to accommodate himself elsewhere.

"Not at all. It's been nearly three months; we have to start coming back into the world somehow." Robert smiled with little enthusiasm.

"And it may as well be with an old friend." The Duke returned his smile, seeing now that all past misdeeds had been forgotten in the wake of so much death.

"Yes. You remember Barrow?" Lord Grantham turned to allow the Duke to see the under butler, who held the image of his past lover before him, both men struggling to contain any emotion flowing from their faces.

"I think so, yes." The Duke said, his mask of indifference disguising his torment at seeing the under butler, whom he noted had matured in his appearance which had lost none of its beauty.

"He will attend to you during your stay if that is all right?"

"Of course, if you can spare him."

"You didn't bring your own man." Robert observed.

"During times like these I can dress myself if needs be." The Duke offered.

"No, while you stay in my house you will be taken care of properly." Robert insisted with a new reserve of boldness emerging into his tone, "Mr Carson, we can spare Barrow to valet the Duke?"

"I should think so M'Lord." Carson responded, bowing slightly forward in acknowledgement.

"That's most kind." The Duke nodded to Carson gratefully.

"Dinner will be ready soon, so if you want to change-"Robert suggested.

"Of course. Thank you." The Duke interrupted, supervising the removal of his suitcase from the car before following Lord Grantham into his home where the meaning of luxury and grandeur can easily be learned as it seeped from the very walls of Downton Abbey.

* * *

Thomas laid out the Duke's clothes, it felt strange to him to be valeting again, even more so for his former lover whose association he could not even acknowledge before the watchful eyes of the household. Only in the privacy of the guest bedroom, once the door barred them from the world, could they speak openly of a time which held no meaning for them in the present, nor reality for them in the past.

"Long time no see." The Duke opened whimsically, hoping to make the best of what was destined to be an awkward situation between the two men.

"Indeed it has Your Grace." Thomas agreed, attempting to maintain the barrier between servant and master.

"To be honest, I didn't expect to see you again." The Duke said as he untied his tie while Thomas arranged the Duke's dinner suit.

"Some people have all the luck Your Grace." Thomas smiled wryly to himself.

"Don't be like that." The Duke furrowed his eyebrows in displeasure at Thomas' coldness towards him.

"Like what Your Grace?" The under butler stood before him in feigned ignorance.

"Like you hate me." Michael clarified.

"I don't." Thomas' voice spoke unconvincingly, not removed from the hurt once felt at the Duke's hands. A hurt the Duke was quick to remind him of.

"I know we parted on bad terms-"

"Bad? You betrayed me." Thomas freed his hands of all tasks and brought his attention to the recollection of the Duke's treachery.

"Ah so you do remember?" The Duke grinned, removing his shirt carelessly, casting it onto the bed.

"Of course." Thomas stood unmoved, his eyes resolutely fixed upon the Duke's face, away from any habit of admiring the Duke's well- formed torso.

"Then you'll recall that it was you who betrayed me." The Duke took a step forward in challenge to Thomas' assertion.

"I did what I had to." Thomas spoke to justify his attempt to blackmail his former lover.

"Yes. But from the looks of things it wasn't really was it? Under- butler of Downton. That's a step up from last time." The Duke said with some optimism on Thomas' part.

"In eight years." Thomas scowled, thinking of what he could be now had the Duke not gone back on his word to take him away from that house and instate him in his own.

"Well I can't see Mr Carson retiring, so you'll have to wait a while to advance further." The noble man mocked him, seeing that his previous tactic of civility had not the desired effect on his acting valet.

"I'm happy where I am." Thomas retorted, winning a bout of laughter from the Duke who had only ever known Thomas to harbour two singular emotions in his hardened heart; envy and hatred.

"Really? The ambitious, cold hearted, blackmailing Thomas Barrow I once knew is happy? I'm sorry I'm struggling with that image." The Duke's eyes followed the corner of his mouth as they lifted to the ceiling thoughtfully.

"It's true." Thomas said to assure himself as much as the Duke. The only happiness in his life was brought with the renewed friendship of Jimmy, whom he had wronged over a year ago by hoping for something more than the footman was willing to give him. He was happy with their reforged bond but even that brought pain equal in power to the joy of their closeness, a closeness that cannot be cemented by lover's kiss or touch.

"What's changed?" The Duke demanded to know of him.

"I have." Thomas presented himself proudly.

"I doubt it." The noble tilted his head sceptically. He may have believed it if Thomas acted more civilly towards him at the start of their conversation, but alas it was not to be.

"I'm sure Your Grace." The under butler sighed, knowing of the duke's stubbornness and that he would not believe in a transformation of character, even after the eight years they had been parted. The under butler returned to his duty of clothing the Duke, who proceeded to fasten the buttons of his shirt.

"You're so distant." The Duke softly remarked, in criticism as much as in observation.

"What else would I be towards you?" Thomas searched for an answer as he came around the front of the Duke and brushed his dinner jacket.

"I have a few ideas." The Duke whispered, as suddenly all went quiet and the world seemed to pause as the Duke leaned in towards him, the warmth of his breath against the under butler's cheek made Thomas bite his lip as a shudder passed up his spine.

"Your Grace?" Thomas gave nothing away as he raised his head.

"Come on Thomas, don't act naïve now." The under butler deigned to avert his gaze and continue with his job, wishing to remain as naïve as the Duke claimed him to be. However his eyes were brought up into the dark lure of the Duke's as Thomas felt a gentle but leading touch of fingers beneath his chin, and felt his lips being drawn to the other man's. The space closed between them and formed into a tender kiss, filled with such longing although it but lingered for a second. It was a taste, but a taste was all that the Duke wanted, all that he allowed Thomas to endure as he reluctantly withdrew his lips from the under butler's and touched their foreheads together. Deep breaths escaped them in fear of revisiting what had long been gone from their lives, and the pleasures that they both knew were within their grasp if they chose to submit to this moment.

"See. That wasn't so hard was it?" The Duke whispered.

"What are you doing?" Thomas managed to find his words through the torrent of emotion emanating between the bodies of the two men, it had been so long since Thomas had been wanted in that way, so much that he was ashamed of his arousal at a mere kiss. An embarrassment which anchored his feet, unable to move himself away from the Duke's breath pounding upon his quivering lips.

"When I knew I was coming back here I checked to see if you were still working here. I was daunted to hear that you were, but to see you again diminished all those thoughts because I can see you have changed..." The Duke pulled away and Thomas' entire body slumped forward lifelessly. The Duke surveyed his former lover and raising his hand traced Thomas' pale cheek with the back of his finger. "You're more… just more than you were. Even as you are now; so defiant, so beautiful. Like a wild stallion longing to be tamed."

Thomas did not hear the Duke's words, there was only sound, his thoughts were amassed with all that had passed and all that remained with him, thoughts of the Duke, of Jimmy, of his loneliness and suffering in the failure that had been his life. He curled his hand about the Duke's which remained on his cheek and brought it away from him, stepping back decisively to put distance between them. "Don't..." He turned away, smoothing down his front before his hair. He did not know what to do, what the Duke was asking of him seemed impossible despite their history. He no longer knew this man, only his deeds. His treachery and coldness stayed with him, but only in thought, not in person as the man who came up behind him, taking his shoulders in his hands and whispering sensually into his ear.

"Don't tell me you haven't been thinking about me for the last eight years, that you haven't missed my skin against yours."

"I…" Thomas choked.

"Can you?" The Duke challenged.

"I've missed…" The under butler stuttered, adjusting the tie about his neck, the tension threatening to suffocate him.

"Yes?"

"I missed what we had." He admitted with a heavy yet desperate heart, in yearning for freedom from his dejection.

"That makes two of us." The Duke teased the ends of Thomas' hair with his fingers, stroking the back of his neck, Thomas relaxing his head back into his delicate touch.

"What do you want?" He exerted in a strong gasp which he took to release his pleasure. It sounded so stupid, it seemed obvious what the Duke wanted from him, but a need to believe it was not so made Thomas ask.

"I want what you want- what we had."

Thomas felt a grip upon his ear as the Duke nibbled the flesh desirously. "I can't." Thomas turned and faced him in defiance. O'Brien had once told him that he could not hold a grudge, he knew now that she was wrong. This man deceived him, and now he sought to use him once again. The audacity of the proposition sickened him.

"Why not? It's only for a few days. Just a bit of fun." The Duke tempted him. Not removing himself from the close proximity he held with the under butler. "You remember." He teased at Thomas' memory with a devilish grin.

Shaking the Duke, and all memory he wished to arouse in him, off Thomas moved around him and quickly gave the back of his jacket a brush, a gesture which hopefully spoke louder than a verbal refusal which he could not give. "They'll be waiting for us downstairs." Thomas told him, trying to control the tremors in his voice.

"Yes, dinner, of course. It'll give you time to think about my proposition. I'd like an answer by tonight. After all, it doesn't do to postpone these things." The Duke gave him a confident smile, blissfully unaware of his inappropriate actions during a visit meant to be in support of a grieving household.

"Yes Your Grace." Was the only response Thomas could give, as the Duke followed him from the room, as opposed to what he would have liked to have said; more along the lines of 'bugger off'. Yet it was obedience as much as intrigue that kept him from saying it, also perhaps the need to feel that he was still wanted; that someone wanted to be with him- though not by the man he would choose- it may turn out to be what he needs during a time when he felt so hopeless, so afraid that he would never experience love again.


	2. Pentagon

**Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review my writing. It continues to be appreciated and it brings me great happiness, I can only hope to reward you with more chapters which I hope you will enjoy. Apologies in advance for any spelling/ grammar mistakes. **

* * *

"Well, dinner was a success if I may say so myself. I believe I was quite masterful in wielding the salmon," Jimmy boasted, practically bounding into the servant's hall to meet Thomas, who was sat alone, smoking. Jimmy immediately saw the downcast expression on the under butler's face which he was utilising to its full extent by casting a dark emotional shadow across the room, prompting the young footman to ask; "What's wrong with you?" As he took a seat beside his friend.

"Nothing." Thomas said absently, barely raising his eyes to acknowledge Jimmy's presence.

"Nothing? Your face could rival Alfred's."

"That's a bit harsh isn't it?" Thomas said in offence as he dwelled on the image of the lanky second footman.

"True. Your face could never look as bad as Alfred's," Jimmy apologised. "You still look like a slapped puppy. What's the matter?" Jimmy leaned in towards Thomas concernedly.

"How many puppies have you been slapping?" Thomas deflected without a flicker of humour.

"Thomas?" Jimmy raised his eyebrows impatiently.

"It's nothing." Thomas turned his half burnt out cigarette between his slender fingers.

"Thomas." Jimmy pressed, touching Thomas' shoulder in comfort.

"Learn when to leave it alone Jimmy." Thomas shrugged the footman off, much to his own shock at the small yet powerful gesture that the under butler had long been waiting for from the young man. It had taken over a year for Thomas to gain Jimmy's trust, and he had to suffer a beating in Jimmy's stead to be awarded his friendship, even then he would not sit alone in a room with him without the door open, and there was still restraint at physical contact. Thomas would often move to out of habit (as much as need), but through consideration for the younger man he kept his distance, allowing Jimmy to discover for himself the progression of his trust in Thomas. This small step that Jimmy had now taken was a tremendous act of courage and faith, and Thomas' rejection of it only weighed on him the seriousness of the Duke's proposal and how much more difficult Jimmy's closeness made it for him to keep his mind clear.

"Fine. Don't say I didn't ask." Jimmy told him, in equal surprise as Thomas' distance.

Thomas forced himself to look at Jimmy, to face that divine countenance which only served to taunt him. Thomas could not stop himself mentally comparing the footman with the Duke, concluding, without having to contemplate, that he would not be satisfied with any man after Jimmy; that he could not be with the Duke without ideas of the young blonde footman preying on his mind. It tortured him. It was because of this that Thomas could not confide his problem in Jimmy, no matter how much he wanted to. The footman was growing frustrated at his friend's apparent want to shut him out, but he was forced to supress this feeling as they were joined by other servants who had finished their work for the evening and came to elevate the sombre atmosphere with their chatter.

"There's a dance in the village tomorrow night, over at the hall." Alfred's voice hovered across the room as he entered attached, like a limpet, to pretty kitchen maid Ivy.

"Oh, I haven't been dancing for a long time." Ivy smiled. She was kind yet foolish girl who had no problem in openly revealing her want to be Jimmy's sweetheart, while still continuing to give the tall ginger headed footman hope that he might have a chance to win her affections. This had been a contest that had lasted for longer than the rest of the downstairs' patience could stand. Especially since Jimmy, charming by nature, flirted casually with Ivy but to no foreseeable objective; whether it is serious intention or just to assert his authority over Alfred.

"Would you like to go?" Alfred boldly asked the maid, omitting the two final key words which would have conveyed his purpose to this question; 'with me'.

"I don't know. I'll have to ask Mrs Patmore." Ivy replied.

"Ask me what?" The cook bustled in to the now crowded room, looking flustered as she wiped her worked hands with a cloth.

"Alfred says there's a dance in the village tomorrow night." Ivy timidly repeated.

"Oh I see, I suppose you're after going are you?" Mrs Patmore surmised.

"Well…"

"Tell me, who else is going to this dance?" Mrs Patmore asked.

"Jimmy?" Ivy shot a desperate look across the table to the footman who, caught off his guard, shrugged in agreement.

"I'll go. How about you Mr Barrow?" This invitation drew a hard stare from Alfred, who knew of the kiss Thomas stole from Jimmy in the night over a year ago, and could not comprehend Jimmy's clemency and generosity towards him, even after such a long time.

"I don't think so." Thomas refused, not wanting to subject himself to watching the partner he desired dance with another.

"Why not? It might cheer you up." Jimmy suggested innocently.

"Why what's wrong with him?" Ivy nosed.

"He won't say, but it's as plain as the nose on his face." Jimmy turned his original kind intention into one of humiliation, earning a warning glance from the under butler.

"Oh come on Mr Barrow, come with us." Ivy insisted.

"With my duties as valet to the Duke on top of those I already have I won't have any time for dances." Mr Barrow reasoned.

"I'll ask Daisy." Jimmy offered, the assistant cook being the next best option after Thomas.

"She wouldn't go." Alfred said.

"She'll go if you ask her." Jimmy enlightened him. Knowing, like most of the staff except the subject of the rumour, that Daisy had long held feelings for the second footman.

"Would she?"

"Yeah, course she would."

"I won't go unless there are four of us, at least." Ivy jumped in, making the choice easy for Alfred, hankering to spend some time with the young maid away from Downton.

"All right I'll ask her." He announced with determination.

"Hang on I haven't said you can go yet!" Mrs Patmore protested.

"May we Mrs Patmore? Please." Ivy pleaded, intertwining her fingers before her as if in prayer for divine intervention, such was her want to dance with the handsome first footman.

"Oh go on then. Mind you finish your work before you go." Mrs Patmore surrendered. No matter how she came across in a hectic kitchen environment she was a softy at heart, and would not deprive the youngsters from a well- deserved evening of leisure.

"I will. Thank you Mrs Patmore." Ivy bobbed up and down excitedly, Alfred grinned like a child who had been told Christmas had come early, until the maid made an innocent yet damaging request of Jimmy. "Jimmy, will you walk me to the dance?"

"Yeah, why not?" He agreed, taking little significance from what the girl believed to be a gesture of feeling. In this belief the maid hence skipped from the room in success. Alfred, defeated once again in this battle of the heart, took his leave, not before casting Jimmy the ugliest look he could conjure. If Jimmy was made of weaker stuff he would have shrank back, except he did not care about Alfred's upset even knowing he was the cause.

"She's not over you then." Thomas observed, giving Jimmy a look of warning at what the young man could be getting himself into.

"Apparently not." Jimmy said, with neither pleasure or annoyance felt in his words.

"You really like making him suffer don't you?"

"It's not me who's making him suffer." Jimmy corrected Thomas, not entirely wrongly, for Ivy too was to blame. The maid may have told Alfred of her preference for Jimmy in the past, a preference obviously felt without words to confirm it, but the second footman continued to pursue her while she did not continue to openly discourage him. Whether she liked the attention from both footmen, or could not tell Alfred candidly that he must stop, was not clear, perhaps both reasons were possible.

"You should just tell her you're not interested." Thomas suggested to his friend, his tongue laced with the taste of self- interest.

"I can't." Jimmy said.

"Why not?" Thomas turned his head, expecting without hoping to hear him say that it would be a lie for him to say this. Even though the two men had their differences they did have at least one thing in common; in affairs of the heart they were both impossible to read.

Relief set into Thomas as Jimmy replied with his usual coolness, "It's just too much fun."

"You, Jimmy Kent, are wicked." Thomas smiled for the first time since he came into the servant's hall.

"At least it put a smile on your face." Jimmy cheekily nudged him.

"You're still wicked."

"I've been called worse." Jimmy said with a hint of pride and sank back into his chair as Thomas looked the younger man over.

"I can see why."

* * *

**Thank you for reading. The next chapter will be up tomorrow or the day after. **

**I also have a favour to ask of you if you would not mind. I have been wondering whether to up my rating to a big racy M ;) at some point in the future. The story will survive without it, so if you would be so kind I will leave it to you, my most appreciated readers, to let me know at your pleasure whether I should do this as I am struggling with the decision myself. Thank you so much.**


	3. Temptation

**I grow fearful that you will all tire of my gratitude, however I cannot deny how much it means to me that so many of you are taking the time to read this story and are enjoying its progress.** **I only hope I continue to please in my efforts. Apologies in advance for any spelling/ grammar mistakes. Thank you again, and any reviews, or more opinions regarding raising the rating to an M further along would be immensely appreciated. :)**

* * *

It was not long before the Duke summoned Thomas up to the guest bedroom as he was ready to change for bed, and he hoped Thomas had decided by now not to let him go there alone. All the distraction Jimmy provided for the nerve racked under butler in their continued conversation down in the servant's hall was quickly forgotten, as he knew the Duke would be expecting an answer regarding his proposition. It was fortunate that he had already decided which one he would give.

"Did you enjoy dinner Your Grace?" Thomas enquired as he came into the Duke's room, keeping up the façade of professionalism, having made a distinct promise to himself to not initiate any informality with the other man.

"Yes thank you. There was an addition however that I was not expecting." The Duke said intriguingly as he threw on his dressing gown.

"What was that Your Grace?" Thomas tried to relax into the situation by engaging with the Duke.

"I knew there were new footmen, I just didn't think either of them could be as enticing as you are." The Duke gave Thomas a seductively suggestive look. The latter discretely bit his bottom lip to mask his worry that the Duke was referring to Jimmy, and the disappointment at the direction the discussion had taken.

"What do you mean?"

"The blonde one." 'Damn' was the only word which came into Thomas' mind, and the Duke saw it, as if it had been slapped onto his forehead in big bold letters. "You can't feign ignorance on this one Thomas. I saw the way you were looking at him at dinner. Is that why you were so hesitant earlier? You two aren't… together are you?" The Duke asked as if this factor, if true, would actually cause him to withdraw his proposition.

"No, we aren't." Thomas said, the confession harder to speak than to simply know in his mind.

"How disappointing for you. Did he reject you?" The Duke seemed genuinely interested, while Thomas was astounded at the Duke's presumption, correct as it was, that he had attempted to engage Jimmy in a relationship with him. "I told you Thomas you can't play the fool with me. He's just your type. Except the snag that he doesn't feel the same way. Shame, he's a pretty one." The Duke's words losing sincerity with every phrase he turned he kept his eyes on Thomas, trying to find a niche in his demeanour which he could prise open, to find within the depths of Thomas' emotions something he could play off in his favour that would bring the handsome under butler into his arms. "You say nothing?"

"I have nothing to say." Yet he thought plenty, though nothing he could say to the Duke without provoking anger.

"Have you thought any more about my offer?" The Duke questioned him directly.

"After what you told me you know you are still making the offer?" Thomas found it hard to believe that the Duke's pride would allow him to be with a man whose thoughts lingered on another.

"I don't see why a boy needs to stand in the way of our desires. I told you, we don't need to get attached, just a little fun. A little… freedom. I can see you need it. Maybe more than I do." Somehow in his address he closed the gap between Thomas and himself, Thomas felt the fabric of the Duke's dressing gown against his jacket, and those eyes gazing upon him enticingly. He could not deny the Duke was right, he needed freedom. The Duke was smart; by giving him a taste earlier that day, to flaunting his failings in relationships, to coming so close to him again. It stirred in Thomas the need he had almost forgotten in the many years it had been absent from his life. Before him stood a man who wanted him, a rare opportunity that may not come again, a man who was offering just for a few nights to take him away from his loneliness and join him in pleasure and companionship long denied to him. The Duke could see his mind at work and so to persuade him further he placed his hand on the side of Thomas' unblemished face and brought him into his body to connect them completely. Their noses now touching, their breaths mingling, the Duke moistened his needful lips slightly with his tongue and pressed them against Thomas', their soft warmth bringing him an immediate surge of empowerment. Thomas was thrown between strength and weakness as a stirring deep within brought him to respond; he placed his gloved hand on the Duke's waist, while the other moved up to lay upon the back of other man's neck, running his elegant yet masculine fingers through his hair. His lips opened to receive more of the Duke's kiss, enveloping his lips with his own. The Duke, to take control and savour the feel of Thomas' skin beneath his fingertips, restricted his touch to the under butler's face and neck. A murmur was drawn from Thomas as he could feel the Duke's fingers digging into the back of his neck in a final urgency before it all suddenly stopped. The Duke tore himself away, still holding Thomas' head between his hands. Training one down, his thumb brushed over Thomas' lips, which gave the softest of kisses, then he found his hand about his throat. He kept Thomas exactly where he wanted him to be, tracing up and down the niche just off the centre of his neck with his thumb. Stray hairs daringly fell into Thomas' eyes, giving him a roguish look which fanned the flames of the Duke's desire, but his words concealed his feeling.

"You're thinking about him aren't you?" He guessed, knowing Thomas was a man of two genuine emotions; romance and unrelenting passion. What he felt from him here was neither of those things, and it was not enough to satisfy the Duke. "Go to bed Thomas. Maybe tomorrow you will be in a more…willing mood." He planted a fragile kiss upon Thomas' silent lips before releasing him.

Thomas may have experienced that kiss in all its sensuality but in closing his eyes he imagined Jimmy in the Duke's place, a thing that would not have mattered in the past except now it had become so obvious the Duke could see it and, despite his lust, pride would not allow him to be with someone whose thoughts were not of him alone when they were together. Thomas was right about that. The under butler could do nothing but silently slink away, but the Duke had one last piece of advice to give before the door closed behind him. "Remember Thomas; he can never give you what I can."


	4. Defiance

**Again thank you very much for reading and the wonderful reviews, it is so very much appreciated and cheers me up no end, spurring me on to write at the risk of neglecting my studies :P I hope you enjoy the latest installment of the story. Apologies for any spelling/ grammar mistakes. Thank you again. **

* * *

"Remember Thomas; he can never give you what I can."

The words echoed in the confines of Thomas' room as the under butler angrily undressed for bed. Practically tearing his shirt from his body he fell back onto the comfort of his mattress which, no matter how far back he lay, would not envelope his helpless body nor bring him sleep. His mind was wracked with deep thought. He believed that he had accepted Jimmy's rejection of him, that he knew there was no hope and they would never be together, and yet it threatened to destroy any hope of any other relationship he had, even one devoid of meaning. Could this one boy, whose smiles haunted his dreams, have affected him so that he would spend the rest of his life alone? Staring at the ceiling he dwelt on his relationship with the young footman; the glances, the comforting touch, the laughter, the happiness they both shared, which excelled beyond that before they became friends. The images played for him against the whiteness of the ceiling, the power of their presence bringing a single tear to Thomas' eye. Jimmy may have told him he could never give him what he wants, but yet it somehow still seemed possible for Thomas. Hope makes things possible, and its embers still burned with the fuel of his desire. He and Jimmy were so similar; enjoying music, dancing, and reading, they were also both ambitious and distant, but warm to those they cared for. In all his cunning the Duke had made a fatal error in confirming for Thomas that Jimmy was his type. Thomas however did not know what Jimmy's type was. They never spoke of love or fancy. Thomas thought perhaps Jimmy was afraid to hurt his feelings, but maybe it was something else. He would have been convinced, the same way he was convinced that night when he snuck into Jimmy's room, if fear had not gripped him in a vice. Fear of being wrong, but also of being right, he feared failure, and of losing Jimmy forever. The fear came as a blessing in disguise, for at that moment in the dead of night he would have gone, he would have gone to Jimmy and once again tried to draw the young footman into his world just to see, one last time, how he would respond now.

* * *

Thomas awoke exhausted the next day, having barely slept. In his dreams the calming face of the first footman, which normally rested him in the peace of sleep, had contorted into that of the Duke. He was not safe in his own mind from the designs of his former lover. He rubbed his forehead as he sat up, uncertain whether his feet could steady him should he rise. He took his time focussing himself, but knowing the Duke would soon be calling him he sighed and forced himself to prepare for work that day.

"Good morning Thomas, sleep well?" The Duke asked the under butler chirpily, who had arrived to dress him. The former could see by the dark rings about Thomas' eyes, emphasized against the usual paleness of his skin, that he did not. The Duke saved Thomas the trouble of responding as the under butler helped him out of his dressing gown, resisting the urge to cut a very noticeable hole in the silken fabric, as it was the next best thing to punching the Duke in his noble face for tormenting him so. "Speak to me Thomas." The Duke urged the under butler, beginning to find his attitude tiresome, as he helped the Duke put on his shirt.

"There is nothing to say Your Grace." Thomas gave the Duke a look of derision as he selected a pair of cufflinks while the latter buttoned up his shirt.

"I take it you haven't yet decided to give in?" The Duke said playfully, as if it were all a game to him.

"No, and I won't 'give in'." Thomas was never more confident in his choice than he was now.

"Oh, a chase is it?" The Duke raised his eyebrows excitedly. "What fun." The Duke sat on the bed anticipating Thomas coming to assist in putting his shoes on.

"Don't treat me this way." Thomas told the Duke in no uncertain terms, kneeling before him on the carpet. "I am not a prize, this is not a game."

"But it is Thomas. It really is. You just need to bend a little." The Duke smirked at his little joke which Thomas did not find so amusing, as he had no wish to bend in any direction or degree for his tormentor. His inclination rather was to vomit all over the Duke's finely polished shoes which he proceeded to place on his feet.

"How long do you intend to stay?" The under butler asked, shielding his eagerness for an answer including the words 'as soon as possible'.

"Five nights." Thomas' stomach churned, imagining the contents of his stomach emptying out onto the floor just as both men rose to their feet, "Just think Thomas, five nights where you won't have to sleep alone." Thomas did not want to think. To fall into sleep within the warm loving embrace of another was a luxury even Downton could not offer, one night to not whisper into the darkness of his sad and lonely life with no one except the shadows to comfort him. The Duke was offering this, and it would be hard to refuse had his mouth not spoken before his mind commanded him to.

"No thanks." His unmoving defiance was a shock for both of them.

"I must say one thing about this footman, he must be very special that you're willing to throw a good prospect aside." The Duke examined himself in the mirror to justify his claim to be such a thing. "Does he have anyone?" He asked as he secured a tie about his neck.

Thomas was cautious in his reply, suspicious of the Duke's question, "No. No he doesn't." He could have said yes in reference to Ivy; but she doesn't count, Thomas told himself, at least not yet.

"You think then that you may turn him with those pretty eyes of yours?" The Duke moved to touch Thomas' chin so he could marvel in them, the deep blueness resonated such intensity, always appearing as if they could find the windows to one's soul and play upon the weaknesses within.

It was a danger the Duke turned away from as Thomas told him, "I can hope," with half a smile forming optimistically, not afraid to reveal his feelings for Jimmy to the Duke if it meant keeping him at bay for a while.

The Duke sighed wearily, believing that his plan to entrap Thomas would have succeeded by now; but he was determined, and as a member of the elite he was used to getting his way in all enterprises of life, "You have four days then, realistically if we are to make anything of this, to realise that your hope is futile. Or is it still that you cannot be with a man who wronged you once eight years ago? Because that doesn't have to be any part of this, and things are different now, what's more it is a foolish reason to deny ourselves this chance for some happiness."

"Pleasure and happiness are two different things." Thomas said with an appreciated maturity, though his statement was not agreed upon.

"Not to me; and for this week we can make sure they're not."

"I don't think I can." Thomas shook his head, awed at his own ability to keep his cool demeanour, the alternative being his prostrate body backed into the wall sobbing while his hands flailed before him in last defence of his dignity.

"Go then," The Duke pointed at the door, "but don't expect me to give up. After all there's not much to do around here." He said, pondering the activities his hosts would have in store for him and what he should do when his company was not required by them, "Really though Thomas, you just need to see this as fun. You used to. Unless Thomas Barrow has become a downright romantic?" He did not expect Thomas to make such a confession, but when he did not respond the Duke's tone changed; not to the expected disappointment that romance, not being a primary weapon in his arsenal, was something beneath him, but rather that he appreciated this development. Hesitantly he continued, "Well, it seems then that in this _game _I will be the romancer."

Thomas gave a snort in response at the Duke's implication, a man who was anything but romantic except in pretence. "You're wasting your time." Thomas informed him.

"I'm not the same man I once was." The Duke said firmly, his tone not timid enough to throw Thomas.

"I don't believe that." The Duke not having given him any reason to believe it was so. He behaved the same way when he seduced Thomas the first time they met; the bold willingness to risk danger, the manipulation, the playfulness; it all worked on Thomas back then, and he had not changed so much that it was not hard for him to resist now.

"Fine. We'll see. But I think you know I'm not wasting my time." The Duke stared Thomas down. Thomas fearfully trembled at the Duke's knowing eyes; he did not doubt his power over him and his ability to win him over, the nature of their past dalliance saw to that, but he doubted his own power to hold out against the Duke's seductions, even though he had done pretty well so far. He could not prove to be as weak as the Duke clearly expected him to be, nor could he give cause to the Duke's arrogance. The Duke thought this was a game, then let it be played like one, Thomas decided, and the under butler would give a very good chase indeed.


	5. What the Under Butler Did

**Thank you everyone for reading, for reviewing, following, and favouriting; it makes me very happy. The excitement and intrigue I gather from those of you who have reviewed really give me such confidence and joy that my story creates such feeling. Apologies in advance for any spelling/ grammar mistakes. I hope you enjoy this slightly longer chapter, and thank you for being such a wonderful audience.**

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The day played out as a dream would. Reality, but deformed. The Duke had changed, once he stepped from his room he became a completely different man. He was kind and respectful to his hosts, his jokes even made Carson suppress a snigger, and when he was alone with Thomas he would whisper sweetly to Thomas, complimenting him, flattering him, flirting with him but not without a sense of modest shame surrounding it. It was a wonder no one suspected anything had been passing between the two men. Thomas had to keep reminding himself that this was a game, that what he was seeing in the Duke was not real. The man in the bedroom, the wielder of that cruel coldness was the Duke's true face. He had not lied when he assured Thomas of his persistence, as his attention grew to a point where even Thomas' loyalty to his feelings for Jimmy was superseded by the Duke's tenderness to him.

When it was time for luncheon, the family had gone to dine with the Dowager at her invitation. Lord Grantham felt he should refuse, fearing to neglect his guest, but the Duke insisted upon their going. It was perfectly calculated on the Duke's part, having arranged with Mr Carson to be attended only by Mr Barrow. The Duke's incessant scheme was astounding; would Thomas have no rest from his plotting in the next five days? As they found themselves alone; Thomas controlled the urge to fidget as he watched the Duke pace around the room, which seemed much bigger with only two of them there, and they waited for luncheon to be brought up. The Duke had not missed Thomas' discomfort, he approached the under butler and stood very close to him, their noses just inches apart. Thomas was in agony, half expecting the Duke to force himself upon him right there and have him on the dining table, but what really concerned him was that he wasn't sure he would resist such an advance. Instead the Duke took Thomas' gloved hand in his, holding it softly, the under butler flickered in fear that the Duke would want to see what lay beneath that thin leather barrier, for only O'Brien had experienced the visual horror of his mutilated hand.

"Why do you wear this glove? Why would you cover such beautiful hands?" The Duke whispered, his silken voice caressing Thomas' ears.

"There is no beauty to be seen there, Your Grace." Thomas said nervously. Despite the warning he felt the Duke prising at the wrist of the glove and slowly pulling it away from Thomas' hand. His eyes did not leave Thomas' face, taking in every expression of vulnerability. Thomas could not bring his hand away from the Duke's hold so averted his eyes, not wanting to see the Duke's horrified reaction to his hand, but they were brought back onto him not by what he saw, but what he felt, as the Duke's fingers were gently and considerately exploring the extensive scarring. Carefully he raised the deformed hand to his lips and kissed it once without a blink or care. Thomas was overcome; he could not stop his lips parting nor the welling of his eyes as the Duke returned Thomas' glove to him and whispered. "Nothing about you is ugly to me." The past had been swept away as the romancer's barricade had been battered down and he unleashed the depths of his emotion to Thomas. The under did not know what to think, it must be an act, but a very real one. Real enough to make Thomas wonder whether the Duke could have changed at all. His breath staggered as the Duke parted from him without any a hint of seduction or manipulation. Thomas only felt pity from the other man, one thing the Duke had never shown anyone. Thomas barely noticed Jimmy in the next few moments as he brought in the tray of food for the Duke who warmly expressed his gratitude to the servant. By then the under butler had the glove back on his hand, and was standing in attendance pretending as if nothing had happened at all.

* * *

Once the Duke had eaten he decided to stroll about the grounds, giving Thomas some time to himself in the servant's hall to contemplate the Duke's behaviour, but he refused to see past the obvious conclusion that it was an act. He was pleased to see Jimmy who came in with purpose, demanding to see him in private. Thomas curiously followed him outside where they found a secluded spot, suited for the purpose of not being overheard.

"What's with all the secrecy?" Thomas was kept on tender hooks by Jimmy who had not said a word to him on their walk over.

"How long have you known the Duke?" Jimmy asked him bluntly.

"Haven't seen him for years, since before the war. Why?" Thomas suspiciously put a freshly lit cigarette to his pert lips.

"Did you valet for him when he used to stay here?" Jimmy bypassed Thomas' question as to his motive.

"Yes, and when his Lordship stayed in London I would see him from time to time." Thomas continued to answer, hoping that in doing so he might discover the reason for this interrogation.

"Was there anything more than that?"

"What?" Thomas knew he was getting to the reason.

"Was there anything more between you?" Jimmy repeated, folding his arms in an assumed sense of power.

"What are you implying exactly?" Thomas enquired as if he didn't know.

"I think you know." Jimmy said almost telepathically.

"It's none of your business." Thomas growled, distracting himself in the enticement of his cigarette.

"Is it really?" Jimmy dared to doubt.

"No it isn't James."

Jimmy could see he was treading on delicate turf as the under butler asserted his authority by speaking his professional name in his 'under butler voice'. It was a benefit of being Thomas' friend that the younger man knew what tactic he had to adopt to vanquish it; by appealing to their friendship. An exclusive benefit which Jimmy enjoyed the influence of possessing. "You told me I was your best friend."

"You are. My only friend."

"Then we should be able to tell each other things. I've told you about my past, now I want to hear about yours." Jimmy reasoned.

"I've told you about my past."

"Not about this. I want to know."

Over the last three months the pair had gotten to know each other well, since for some reason or other neither of them had managed to connect with the other staff as well as they had with each other. Spending most of their working day and the majority of free time together there was little neither of them knew about the other, Thomas even revealed to Jimmy his past misdeeds; confessions which brought the friends closer as Jimmy was understanding of Thomas' predicament, and through shady tales of his own emphasized that he was never an angel himself.

"Why?" Thomas could not see why Jimmy would want to get involved in his love life, having been a part of it himself. He did not know whether he should be suspicious or flattered.

"Because man is a curious creature." Jimmy philosophically conjectured. There was silence as Thomas took a drag of his cigarette, psyching himself to tell Jimmy his secret, seeing as it could not do any harm now, and there was no reason why the youth would be intolerant at the revelation.

"We were together once." Thomas said as casually as his emotions would allow.

"When?" Jimmy said without pause, unflinching at this admittance which would have given most of the staff a heart attack.

"Long time ago." Thomas answered vaguely.

"What happened?"

"I blackmailed him with some letters he'd written me, because he told me he would get me out of this place to come and work for him." He saw in his mind the Duke putting those same letters into the fire, and remembered his heart and his hopes had gone with them that day.

"He didn't then?" Jimmy deduced by the fact that Thomas was still at Downton and that he and the Duke had been parted for seemingly years.

"No. Only man I ever dared to care for that much and he threw me away like rubbish." Thomas simultaneously cast his cigarette to the ground in bitter recall.

"Not the only one." Jimmy uttered, withdrawing his previous boldness, glancing at Thomas with a semblance of sympathy so as not to create any more awkwardness, as they had worked hard to get past the recognition of Thomas' feelings for him.

"The only reciprocated one." Thomas corrected him, attempting a smile through the sad veil of his memories.

"I'm sorry." Jimmy apologised, instantly filled with regret.

"Doesn't matter. Life goes on." Thomas passed the conversation over, kicking the gravel beneath his feet and shoving his hands in his coat pockets.

"Must be awkward seeing him again, valeting for him again." Jimmy said with understanding.

Thomas ceased the movement of his feet as he replied thoughtfully. "Time has made it easier."

"Right." The word, that one single word, was spoken in a communicated annoyance, and Thomas leapt at it.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I said a word." Jimmy blinked confusedly.

"Exactly, and you said it in a way that means there is something more behind it. What do you mean?" Thomas squared up to Jimmy, determined not to let the footman go as he had not yet told him why he was so interested in his history with the Duke, for he clearly suspected something or else why ask him? And why bring him outside to ask him?

"I acknowledged your statement." Jimmy came up with the most obvious response he could give, as he continued to avoid the question.

"No. What is it?" Thomas removed his hands from his pockets, now at ease in his proper place as the interrogator.

Jimmy had brought Thomas out to tell him something, there was no use dancing about it, so his hands flopped to his sides and he asked straight out in surrender, "Is there still any feeling between you and the Duke?"

With a wry chuckle Thomas said, "Oh there's plenty of feeling, believe me." Jimmy could take his pick as far as Thomas was concerned and no guess would be wrong.

"I mean… sexual." Jimmy could not look at Thomas on saying the last word, which he whispered to him in case any listening ears were about. The subject brought him discomfort but not as much as for the under butler who wished to delay his response, not entirely sure what he could say to that, as he had spent the entire night asking himself that very question.

"Why?"

"I saw, Thomas." Jimmy exclaimed.

Thomas' heart sank. "What did you see?" Believing at that moment Jimmy could very well have been hiding in the Duke's closet and spied their kiss in the guest bedroom.

"When I brought up the luncheon for the Duke, I saw you. You were against the wall; and the Duke, he whispered something to you, and it looked like he kissed your hand, your bad hand."

"What?" The only word Thomas could form in place of 'shit'.

"Did he not do that?"

The lack of confidence Jimmy had in his own testimony made Thomas able to deny it. But the younger man still pressed further; trying to find an explanation for what he thought he saw and what he made of their relationship should he have been mistaken.

"He keeps touching you though and-"

"Jimmy, leave it. Please." Thomas interrupted, and his pleading probably went further to attest his guilt than to reassure Jimmy of innocence. "There's nothing going on, it's just old habits between us. I'm not encouraging him, I swear. Not that it should make any difference to you."

"Of course it does." Jimmy said obviously.

At this Thomas could feel those embers in his heart break into flame, even though it was foolish of him to sustain them, "Why?"

"I don't want you to get in trouble, and if anything were to happen I'd like to think you would talk to me about it."

The flame extinguished, but the knowledge that Jimmy wanted Thomas to talk about the intimate side of his personal life, a life that Jimmy of all people should feel particular aversion to, touched him.

"Really?"

"Of course. You're my best friend Thomas." Reaching once again to touch him on the arm. It was here that Thomas realised just how lucky he was, and he felt sick at his own idiocy that the night before he considered paying Jimmy a second midnight visit. He hovered his hand over the footman's shoulder, looking to Jimmy for permission, his heart swelling as the younger man gave a nod.

"And how glad I am for your friendship." Thomas said with an open heart, "Between the Duke and I honestly, nothing is going on. It's just his way."

"Should I be expecting some of that then?" Jimmy jested.

"Depends, have you been dallying around with him?" Thomas raised an inquisitive eyebrow, taking a step towards Jimmy, his hand still upon him, making the most of the comfort in joking around such a taboo subject with his friend.

"No." Jimmy asserted.

"Then you're safe." Thomas squeezed Jimmy's shoulder before releasing him.

"Does that mean you're not?" Jimmy asked with concern, his smile diminishing, as they moved to go back to the house now their secret talk had concluded. Thomas noted how different the youth looked when he frowned; his smile was tantalising but everyone was treated to that, yet that expression of sensitive concern was something rare which tapped into Thomas' heart, in that tiny place reserved for Jimmy, barely recognisable unless it was struck by a wave of emotion as he was now, and it suffocated him.

"I can take care of myself thank you Mr Kent." Thomas said indeterminately.

Knowing what Thomas had gone through in his life, and seeing how strong he held himself through everything, Jimmy could not help but hold the under butler in admiration for it and knew he had no place to doubt him as he said, "Right you are Mr Barrow. Right you are."


	6. Embers

**Thank you everyone for taking the time to read my story, and any reviews are always greatly appreciated and loved. I hope you take pleasure from reading this chapter. I said the last chapter was slightly longer, this one is much longer so I hope it manages to hold your interest. :) Thank you again. **

**Apologies in advance for any spelling/ grammar mistakes.**

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Jimmy was kept in the dark about the Duke's proposition towards Thomas, he may have trusted the under butler but through concern for what he saw during the rest of the day he became more convinced that Thomas was lying to him, as he knew his friend was smart enough to know when a man was paying him close attention. Paranoia caused him to take every movement as an exaggeration of what it could be. A simple look and he believed the Duke was imagining Thomas undressed, a word of thanks was a declaration of lust, a clap on the arm when Thomas opened the door for him became a caress. Nothing was innocent between them in Jimmy's eyes and he was scared that Thomas was being led down an ill trodden path. He was surprised at how much he cared, but he cared for Thomas, and so would care if he got hurt. He saw him suffer twice now; the first time when he rejected the under butler's advance, and the second when he was attacked in Jimmy's stead. He had not neglected to notice that both instances were his fault, and it was all the more the reason for him to prevent a third occurrence if he could, no matter the cause. For now he wanted Thomas to feel comfortable to tell him should there be any progression, and so he respectfully kept his distance, but a watchful eye. That is until he remembered he had an engagement with Ivy, Alfred, and Daisy to attend the dance in the village that evening. He offered to stay behind if Thomas wanted company, but the under butler did not want to ruin the footman's night off. So leaving his friend behind Jimmy met Ivy out the back, the girl linking her arm in his, under the evil glare of Alfred who was obliged to walk to the dance with Daisy, much to her delight.

When Thomas went to the Duke's room that evening to dress him for his dinner with the Crawleys he was taken aback to find the noble already dressed, and had poured out two drinks in anticipation of the under butler's arrival. He held a glass out to him containing an inviting light brown liquid which gave off a powerful aroma that was too tempting to resist. Thomas gratefully took the drink, sipping it first, not trusting that the Duke had not put some kind of incapacitating substance in it. The Duke, seeing his mistrust took the glass from Thomas and drank half of the contents. With an apologetic smile Thomas poured the remainder of the alcohol down his throat. The taste was glorious. The silence was agonising. It was as if there was a sound proof wall encircling him, there was no noise except his teeth knocking against the glass. Why had the Duke done this; waited for him, and when he arrived acted so subdued? The Duke would not answer his question. He took the empty glass from Thomas, having also finished his drink, and he placed the empties back on the table beside the decanter. Going to the door he clasped the under butler' upper arm which he tensed instinctively, then he was left alone, the Duke putting the door between them like he didn't expect Thomas to follow him immediately. The under butler stood alone in the room and pondered, he counted the seconds before leaving, one minute was long enough. The Duke was changing tactic; he was aggressive and it failed, he was romantic and he failed, so now friendly space was the prescribed method so Thomas could see the error in his already dying hope regarding Jimmy and his hatred for the Duke. Smart man. But so was Thomas. The game had become a war of the mind, and what they both partook in was a pre battle beverage.

* * *

Thomas' theory proved true as nothing passed between he and the Duke that evening at dinner, only what was expected of a master to a servant. He only spoke to the under butler to tell him that he would change for bed himself that night, so Thomas could take the night off. The under butler did not refuse, he welcomed the relief it brought him from the prospect of any more of the Duke's advances. He spent his free time fulfilling minor tasks; mending a small impairment in the pocket of his coat, inspecting the silver, checking to see if the clocks had been wound. This procrastination occupied him up until gone midnight, then he resolved to go to bed, but not before going outside for a much needed cigarette. Immersing himself in the tranquillity and gentle caress of the refreshing night air there was nothing to distract him now from his current predicament. It wasn't that it was the Duke who was making the proposal; it was because he wasn't Jimmy. For all his acceptance, and love of his friendship with the footman he could not bring himself to move on, because if he did then he could never look back. It just seemed so final, so real, so fatal. Thomas' ears pricked when he heard the sound of laughter in the distance and coming closer to him; it was the sound of the four jovial servants returning from the dance in the same order they left; Ivy and Jimmy arm in arm coming down the path with Alfred and Daisy in tow, except the latter couple looked far happier than before. Seeing Thomas standing across the way Jimmy broke from Ivy, bidding her goodnight with a tip of his hat, and stumbled towards the under butler. It was clear he had been drinking as he tripped into Thomas' strong arms.

"Have a nice dance?" Thomas laughed, supporting the young footman up before he could feast on a face full of gravel.

"Yeah, it were good, you should have come. What are you doing out here?" Jimmy propped himself against the wall by Thomas, not bothering to push his cap back on his head which had come to shadow his eyes.

"Only just finished. Thought I'd enjoy some fresh air before bed." Thomas said, taking an ironical drag of his cigarette.

"Call that fresh air?" Jimmy exclaimed.

"Well…" Thomas inspected the cigarette as if he were expecting it to defend itself.

"Fancy a walk? Get some _real_ fresh air." Jimmy moved away from the wall.

"You should get to bed." Thomas advised him, cursing the kindness which forced him to refuse spending time alone with the footman.

"I've had a bit to drink, but not too much, so I'm not that tired, besides I feel I should walk it off a bit." Jimmy bounced; keeping his feet on the ground, to show his friend that he still had a couple of hours of life in him yet.

"All right then." Thomas came away from the wall with Jimmy, not trusting the younger man's ability to keep himself upright, "So long as you're not one of those violent, depressive, or over affectionate drunks." The under butler grinned, he wouldn't mind if Jimmy was the latter but he could hardly omit it from his statement. Dropping his cigarette to the floor and stepping on it he walked over to Jimmy.

"I'm not drunk, I just feel a little lightheaded." Jimmy affirmed, straightening himself up.

"I better come then, make sure you don't wake up in a ditch somewhere."

With that the pair walked out into the fields shoulder to shoulder.

* * *

Thomas and Jimmy had been walking outside for about half an hour when the sky opened and unleashed a great downpour upon them. They were a mile or so away from the house so took refuge in a rundown shed. The men shook the rain from their hair and leaned against the wooden walls panting, somehow running in the rain took more effort than in the dry.

"Bloody rain. We'll never get back." Thomas said wiping off the droplets hanging on his coat.

"We could leg it." Jimmy suggested sceptically as he felt parts of his shirt cling to him from the absorption.

"And drag water in all over the floor? Mr Carson will have a fit." Thomas reminded him, removing his sodden coat and placing it on an empty wooden crate, before the rain had the same effect on him as it did Jimmy. Looking out through the blur of the water-streaked windows Thomas ran his hand through his hair, which stubbornly refused to stay back, springing forward to hang across his forehead. He judged that the pair would be stuck there for a while so took advantage of indulging in some gossip with Jimmy.

"So go on then? How much of a prat was Alfred being?" Thomas felt he was making a safe assumption in his insult of the repugnant second footman, withdrawing a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it up.

"Well, Daisy was trying to dance with him, god knows why he's a terrible dancer, but he was trying to dance with Ivy, while Ivy was trying to dance with me." Jimmy gesticulated with his hand as he had to think hard, particularly in his slightly incapacitated state, of the chain this complex pentagon of fancy followed.

"And you?" Thomas almost hated asking but the need to know overpowered the fear.

"I was trying to get to the bar." Jimmy said, drawing a reserved smile from Thomas, "Wish you could have come."

"Next time." Thomas promised. There was a silence as dark as the room they stood in. Somehow darkness brings out the feelings that we hide in the light, or changes them completely. Fear becomes terror, anger becomes hate, fancy becomes passion. Thomas could have said two things in the coming moments; the first was about the dance, but instead he went to the second, a matter he had never broached but had everyday wanted to speak of. Now was the time as his want had been conquered by need, "Jimmy." He began.

"Thomas." The footman acknowledged him, eagerly anticipating his friend's conversation but unable to see, in the shadows of the room, the anxiety which caused the under butler to shake. Thomas took a drag of his cigarette before stubbing it against the wall.

"I know this is probably a bad time. I don't think there will be a good time… I wanted to say, because I don't think I ever did… How sorry I am, for what I did to you."

Jimmy had never received an apology for what happened on that night of misfortune, he knew how badly Thomas felt about the whole incident and an apology was something that never occurred to him, especially after so much had passed between them since then. Jimmy wondered how long Thomas had been waiting to say those words to him, whether it has been eating him up inside all this time. He stayed his curiosity to sooner bring peace to his friend.

"It's over and forgotten."

"Is it?" Thomas said in surprise, not that he knew what he expected the footman to say, but he knew that the way Jimmy had been acting to everyone had changed since that night. He didn't want to think that he had a lasting effect on Jimmy's life in a negative way, and wanted to be sure the younger man knew that. "I know you are still trying to convince everyone that you're not like me, and I know that you're still trying it with Ivy-"

"Thomas, I forgive you. All right?" Jimmy cut the older man off as he stood before him and held his arms firmly, a thin beam of light trailed through the window onto his complexion so Thomas could see the sincerity in his eyes coupled with the trust of physical contact.

"Then you can do what I can't." Thomas' tightened his lips to keep himself from whimpering as his heart, pent up with so much self- loathing, threatened to burst.

"What do you mean?" Jimmy could barely make out Thomas in the dark but could hear the suffering in his voice.

"I still think about it, about how stupid and wrong I was. How much hurt I caused. I haven't found the way to forgive myself." The words flowed from the older man, his hand reaching up to cover his face in shame, but Jimmy would not let go of him, only tightening his grip to make his presence more strongly felt.

"We hurt each other. But things have changed now, for the better." Jimmy restrained himself from doing what a good friend would by embracing Thomas, for the latter was a proud man and would not want to be pitied.

"Good, because I'm glad for what we have now. I don't want you thinking that I'm biding my time with you because I'm not. I'm happy. I really am."

"Me too, and I don't think that. I haven't thought that for a long time." Jimmy told him honestly, letting go of Thomas' arms now that he had calmed down.

"Jimmy…" Thomas whispered.

"Yes." The young man persevered.

"Do you really forgive me?" Thomas sniffed as his reddened eyes came to look at Jimmy; this kind, sweet, forgiving soul who had given him more than he ever deserved; a second chance at living.

"Thomas I forgave you a long time ago. I would have told you if I didn't think you knew it already. I trust you." Jimmy said; the conviction of his words moved Thomas to the point where he could not speak in fear of giving the truth of how broken he had become under Jimmy's spell. The younger man surveyed Thomas, who was anchored to the ground, and saw his hands shaking. An overwhelming force of pity flowed through Jimmy's body and a want to prove to Thomas his comfort in being with him. Ignoring his earlier thought to consider Thomas' pride, he slid into the older man's body and wrapped his arms around him to hold him in an embrace, as the receiver froze as a statue. His lips formed the words 'oh my god' in a silent question to the deity as to whether this was real or some cruel trick being played on him. He kept his arms by his sides, struggling to know what to do until Jimmy told him, "It would be better for my dignity if you hugged me back you know." With a deep breath Thomas slowly placed his arms around Jimmy's wet form. He closed his eyes, fighting every urge in him to nestle his nose in the youth's hair, kiss his head, and clutch him in unsuppressed joy. He wished that he had left his coat on as he feared the footman could feel the pounding of heart ache in his chest, as nothing had ever felt as perfect in his life as this. The rain hammered down on the roof above them, disturbing their quietude, and the young footman pulled himself away from Thomas. They shared a smile as the under butler sought to revive their earlier conversation to avoid any prolonged awkwardness Jimmy may feel by asking the first question Thomas had the option of asking before rejecting it in favour of his plea for forgiveness. "So Alfred is still pining after Ivy then?"

"Seems to be." Jimmy thrust his hands in his pockets and sank back against the shed wall, "I don't know how many different ways there are to tell him she's not interested, but I've tried most of them. Except for just telling him straight out that is." Jimmy mused.

"The heart wants what the heart wants." Thomas stated in relevance to his own feelings which stayed upon him from his embrace with Jimmy.

"Surprised you're not telling me off again."

"What for?" Thomas had clearly forgotten his advice to Jimmy the day before to tell the kitchen maid that he wasn't interested in her. "I'm many things Jimmy, but I'm not a hypocrite. At least I try not to be."

"Why would you be a hypocrite?" Jimmy sensed a story lurking behind Thomas' statement.

"Before the war we had a footman, William, who was sweet on Daisy. He got her eventually, before he died, but before that I used to play on her affections to spite him." Thomas recalled, casting his eyes to the ground in guilt as he thought of the young footman who married the assistant cook as he lay dying from a tragic injury he suffered in the war to save the life of Matthew Crawley. The memory brought attention to his own cowardice at wounding himself to escape the horrors of war.

"Was he that bad?"

If Thomas said yes then what did that say about _him; _the coward. "No. That's the thing, he was a nice lad. Wouldn't hurt a fly." 'However he knew how to pack a punch', Thomas thought but kept to himself as he remembered when the footman struck him after talking inappropriately about his mother's death. Looking back, Thomas found it ironic that the most harmless soul, in the form of William, was the only one brave enough to give Thomas the treatment he knew now he deserved.

"Then why did you do it?"

"Got on me nerves." Thomas said in reference to William's naïve innocence and his willingness to do anything for anyone.

"Because the others liked him more than you?" Jimmy guessed. Thomas had a feeling that he was speaking from a similar experience.

"Maybe. It's a standard I've had to live by a while. I think I've got used to it." Thomas admitted regretfully.

"_I_ like you."

Thomas had no need to say it back, but gave Jimmy a welcome smile in return. He fussed around his pockets for a handkerchief; locating one he wiped his face as a drop of water fell from his hair onto his nose. He saw Jimmy growing conscious of the same problem he was having but only had the back of his hand to dry himself. Thomas offered him his handkerchief which was gratefully accepted. It was moist but better than a hand. "So apart from Ivy, anyone made their way into your heart?" Thomas dared to ask.

"Nope." Jimmy said bluntly.

"Really? Guy like you could have any girl he wants." 'Or man' Thomas added silently.

"I don't want just _any_ girl." Jimmy moved past the 'guy like you' comment.

"You're picky. You should feel lucky to have the option of choosing." Thomas couldn't help but envy him in this, for a homosexual it was a matter of whoever was willing to take the risk of giving a sign of affection, and there were few, too few. There were plenty of men like Thomas, but not enough who were true to themselves. The one thing Thomas could relate to the Duke about; neither of them were ashamed of their sexuality.

"As you said Thomas, the heart wants what it wants." Trying not to feel guilty about the benefits his way of life had, nor to upset Thomas in reminding him.

"And what do you want?" Thomas asked, driven on by the embers as he thought back to the night before when he considered revisiting Jimmy in the night; that vanishing hope. The footman scratched his neck in dis-ease. "What? You scared you'll hurt my feelings?" Thomas put to Jimmy with all the spirit he could conjure.

"A little." Jimmy said honestly. He trusted Thomas but still could not be certain whether his feelings for him were purely that of friendship, it was not something he could or would want to ask.

"That's very considerate, but don't flatter yourself." Thomas' tongue manoeuvred around Jimmy's confession.

Jimmy shrugged off his second of embarrassment at his misplaced arrogance, "Fine. If you want to know."

"I do ." The motive of the embers breaking forth from his lips.

"I'd like someone who knows things. Not about cooking and social etiquette, but someone who reads, can apply their mind to things." Jimmy opened up, immediately realising the foolishness of his wants, as a mere footman there were few women of his class who would have the kind of mind he was looking for.

"An intellectual." Thomas made his opinion clear through his tone of having heard something completely unrealistic, "Maybe Lady Edith is the woman for you?"

"I don't think so. She's older than I am, out of my class." He conveyed his previous thought.

"How about the new maid?" Thomas suggested without any sentiment of sincerity flushing his voice.

"New maid?" Jimmy had not heard of a new maid at Downton.

"Yeah. I hear she's smart."

"A smart maid? That's a new one." The idea of a simple maid, who could be figured as smart in the eyes of Thomas, was apparently unheard of.

"Yeah, but apparently she's quite eccentric."

"Maybe not for me then." Eccentricity not an appealing quality to Jimmy, now he came to think of it he didn't want to be with a woman who was smarter than he was. Damn, he _was_ picky. The extent of which was revealed as his list continued on. "I'd like someone witty; who can make me laugh."

"You don't want much do you? Is wit that important?"

"Yes. A dry uncontrolled wit, with a dark streak, a boldness if you like." Jimmy emphasized, the image of his perfect match coming clearer, but at the same time more obscure.

"You're full of surprises." Thomas tried to disguise his sadness as he could not help but liken himself to what Jimmy described clearly as his type, only the more devastating that there was just the one thing which made all of this irrelevant; he was a man.

"I like to think I'm unpredictable." Jimmy smirked, reverting back to his cocky self.

"You certainly are, since you've just described your perfect match as O'Brien." Thomas demonstrated the wit he now knew Jimmy was so fond of.

"Very funny." The footman said sarcastically. Maybe he wasn't as fond of wit as he thought, or at least not when it came from Thomas. No that wasn't true; he loved Thomas' wit, and his mind, and his humour, his smile wasn't bad either. Wait. What?

"Funny yet true." Thomas continued, oblivious to the fact that Jimmy's thought process had moved on.

"I don't think so." Jimmy said slowly, returning to the matter at hand, not wanting Thomas to suspect that he had been thinking about him, "Not to mention I'd be related to Alfred."

"That would be fantastic." The under butler smiled that smile which had Jimmy thinking something he did not know what. "Imagine the look on his face, you'd be his uncle."

Jimmy curled his fingers into a fist and punched Thomas playfully on the shoulder, the under butler leaned forward, pushing his shoulder into Jimmy as if he were trying to wrestle him, but neither man was much for brawling so they mutually pushed each other away. Calming their laughs Thomas felt comfortable enough to ask; "What is it between you and Ivy anyway?"

"I don't know. It's just been casual flirting whenever Alfred's in the room." In all truth Jimmy had never really thought about it that much as a serious enterprise.

"That's for you, and for her?" An unusual sentiment of selflessness in Thomas' question.

"What do you mean?" Jimmy said with a usual sentiment of conceit, as if he did not know that Ivy had feelings.

"Well what does she get out of it?"

"My irresistible charms." This seemed the obvious answer from the ever charming footman.

"I thought we all got that." Thomas jeered.

"Yeah, but she gets a bit extra."

"I see. Lucky girl." If she doesn't mind being intoxicated by the quality.

"Come on, there was a time you'd have leapt at the chance to be in her shoes." Too much confidence had to bear the brutal burden of uncontrollable honesty. "Sorry."

"It's all right."

"No, it's not."

"I know your ego is too big for you to hold in that mouth of yours." Thomas equalling his injury with insult.

"Nice." Jimmy said without being able to deny it. "She keeps hinting at me you know."

"What?"

"To be my girl." The latest occurrence was earlier that night when the maid had danced with Jimmy, and had asked him whether he liked her and when he was going to make their relationship official. As Jimmy said before; she got charmed in return and her simple mind couldn't tell the difference. He figured perhaps he could charm her forever so he would never have to ask her, but maybe he was as unrealistic in this as he was in his description of his perfect woman.

"What did you say to her?" Thomas inquired.

"Nothing."

"Thought you'd jump at the chance. Would upset Alfred no end." Thomas pointed out, trying to be as objective as possible.

"I don't know." Jimmy suddenly feeling that it was all very real.

"Well how do you feel?"

"I don't know." Jimmy never considered himself to be a man of romantic feelings.

"You don't know much do you?" Thomas gave him a hopeless look.

"I know enough." Doubting this as soon as it slipped from his lips.

"Not enough to know if you want some girl to be your sweetheart."

"I'm a bit confused about it all. It didn't mean anything at first, but now it's being pushed into something more serious that I never asked for."

"I'll ask you again then, how do you feel?"

"About?" Jimmy's subconscious refusing to remember what they were discussing.

"Ivy." Thomas spoke her name slowly hoping it would stay in his mind.

"She's a nice girl, pretty enough, fun to be around." Jimmy rattled off her qualities indifferently; this being the first time he had properly considered Ivy to be a prospect. The advice of a friend was perhaps what he had needed all along to make him see things in this new way.

"And?" Thomas pressed him further.

"And what?"

Thomas almost couldn't be bothered to carry on, but he had to see the footman through now he had started him off. "You didn't mention any of the things you said before; the things you found important in a girl."

"Well I can't expect to find a girl who has all of those things right away. Besides I barely know Ivy, she may turn out to be the girl of me dreams." Jimmy said with cautious optimism.

"Oh yes, a secret dark genius hiding out in the underbelly of Downton's kitchen." It sounded ridiculous now Thomas had said it, Ivy didn't seem to be any of those things and yet he was determined to prove otherwise.

"You never know. I mean look at you, people have said all sorts about you, but I know different." Jimmy feeling himself to be in a position of advantage that he knew Thomas' kinder side.

"What's that then?" Thomas asked, still not able to conceive that anyone thought more of him that disdain.

"That you're a good person." This being the one answer Jimmy had been able to easily give. Thinking about Thomas and how different he was under the surface gave Jimmy hope that just maybe Ivy could be the same. There was nothing wrong with the girl that he could see; they got on, that was something. "Maybe I'll take a chance on her. I think I'll say yes. Or rather, I think I'll ask her later."

Thomas felt a damp smokiness in his chest, and it wasn't from the rain or cigarettes. "Good. Glad you've sorted that out then. But don't expect me to hold Alfred back when you tell him." Thomas said. He acted well; a great performance from a man whose embers had just died out.


	7. Acceptance

**Ladies and gentlemen the time has come. I think you could tell by the change in rating. I thank those of you who replied with regard to this issue. I want to apologise in advance for the possible conceivability that I haven't written this whole- heartedly, because it would hold an element of truth (to my everlasting shame). I wish it wasn't, but I don't usually write stuff like this and I don't consider myself to be a 'racy' character, so I am slightly nervous about submitting it. Nonetheless here it is and I hope it can at least be said that I have made a decent effort. If you skip to the next chapter (which I posted in consideration for those who want to read something new but isn't this chapter) you won't miss much, but if you want to read the run up, which will be with regard to Thomas' emotions as a result of the last chapter '****_Embers_****', I have inserted a line to siphon it off. Once again thank you all so very much for reading and reviewing it means the world to me, almost literally (at the risk of sounding quite pathetic). Apologies for any spelling/ grammar mistakes. Thank you and enjoy.**

**Warning M/M slash. **

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Fortunately the rain ceased and the two men were able to make it back to their rooms just before the clocks struck three. With a friendly pat on the back Thomas and Jimmy bid each other good night and stole quietly into their respective rooms to the invitation of their beds.

As soon as Thomas shut the door he leaned his back against it, surveying the unwelcome emptiness of his room and how he came to loathe it. Rain drops dripped from his coat onto the hard wood floor as he removed his layers until he was stripped for bed. Now he was in the dry Thomas found he missed the rain, he missed the feeling of having his troubles being cast from him by a sudden gush of water pouring down upon his prostrate body. Rain was glorious.

Sitting on his bed he thought of the Duke, and he thought of Jimmy. It was inevitable; no amount of rain could wash them from his mind. He had to accept the fact that Jimmy had moved on, that he was going into a relationship with Ivy, that he was not a homosexual, and Thomas could not turn him with his 'pretty eyes'. There was no hope. It was over. Certainly it would hurt when he would see Jimmy and Ivy together but it meant that he could feel better about getting on with his life, even if he could not say that he was completely over the footman, he's finally accepted it. Thomas could now only feel happy in their friendship. He had to learn that it would be enough. He would not cry; he had been preparing for this moment for over a year and now it had come he felt… relieved; relieved that he would no longer endure restless nights, the agonising ideas of loneliness, the fatal temptation of hope which had strung him along before sending him to his doom time and again. It hurt, that same pain he felt each time, but Thomas was used to that pain. He would endure. He would move on.

Right then he knew what he wanted, what he needed. He put his dressing gown on, fleeing from his room at such a speed, as silence allowed him to make, as if he were trying to outrun his past, and went upstairs. Coming onto the landing he slowed and stopped outside a familiar door. He took a breath, two, a third, just one more before turning the handle and entering the blackened room. The slippers fell from his feet as he walked over to the bed, a figure lay there sleeping. Thomas sat down on the satin- like fabric to admire the Duke, lying there so peacefully, just as he remembered. Thomas shifted so the two men's bodies were touching; leaning over the sleeping figure Thomas supported his weight on his hand which was placed on the mattress just above the other's shoulder. Apprehensively, in deference to his past, he slowly moved to press his poised red lips against those of the other man, which seemed to have just been waiting for his kiss. The man stirred as Thomas applied more force to bring him into consciousness. Any fear subsided as he felt the other man's lips moving against his, and Thomas was now able to place his hands upon him as he used to, his fingers stroking the hair behind the Duke's ear. The latter held Thomas' head as their lips parted so he could gaze into the eyes of his visitor.

"I see you've come around." Thomas felt the pleasure in the Duke's voice despite the early morning hour.

"Let's just say I've been shown my place."

"To my pleasure." The Duke was happy to put Thomas' hurt aside as he revelled in the prospect of what was about to happen, but he had to be certain of one thing, "And the blonde one?"

"What blonde one?" Thomas sealed any insecurity the Duke had with a kiss. A kiss which was filled with that factor the Duke so well remembered and had deigned to draw from him; unrelenting passion. The Duke was now satisfied. Thomas was his, and was dying to enjoy him in all his splendour.

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The Duke pushed the bed sheets away from him and Thomas kneeled up, his dressing gown falling from his shoulders. The eyes of the men had grown accustomed to the dark and the Duke absorbed images of Thomas' naked torso, decorated lightly with fine black hair contrasting beautifully with his stunning paleness. He lowered himself into the Duke's arms which were desperate to receive him and they kissed in unquenched hunger. Thomas felt the Duke's soft, well treated hands caressing the smooth skin of his back, at first in appreciation then transformed into ravenousness as he clawed at Thomas, urging the under butler to insert his tongue into his mouth and entwine it with his own, emitting a low moan as he did. Thomas lowered his hands and tended to the Duke's buttons on his shirt, displeased that he was still dressed. The Duke pushed himself up so the men were now sitting and he could dispense with his shirt. Their lips not parting for a moment their hands continued to explore each other, the touch of another man's skin was a rare pleasure they both wanted to make the most of.

The Duke's kisses trailed down to Thomas' neck and across his shoulder where he sank his teeth into his skin. Thomas groaned in unrestrained arousal as he fell back, the Duke still attached to him. The under butler ran his hands through the Duke's hair in approval as he felt wet kisses upon his chest, and his trousers being pulled away from him by the Duke's wandering hands, leaving Thomas entirely naked; his throbbing erection yearning for attention. Seeing his need the Duke traced his fingers down Thomas' chest to his penis and teased the head. Thomas pulled the Duke towards him in a deep kiss, the sweat building up in the heat between their bodies. Their tongues played with each other, their hearts pounded threatening to burst from their chests as Thomas slid his hands down the Duke's back and underneath the brim of his trousers, feeling beneath the tips of his fingers the softness of the Duke's buttocks. Thomas pushed the material away down the legs of the Duke, who assisted in removing them so the two men were now completely exposed to one another. The Duke lowered himself onto Thomas so he could experience the feeling of the under butler lying beneath him, to feel every inch of his skin against his own. As they kissed their writhing brought their erections together which were gently squeezed between their aching bodies. The Duke brought his lips to Thomas' ear, as the under butler devoured on his neck, and whispered, "Turn over for me." Thomas in eager compliance turned over onto his front and raised himself onto his knees.

His anticipation and excitement caused him to quiver, the hairs falling into his eyes showed him to what extent as they shook across his vision. He could hear the Duke moving behind him; no doubt he was making the necessary preparations. Thomas coiled his fingers about the bed sheet and licked his lips in anticipation. A hand upon his back made him shudder, his sensitivity was so heightened. In shock he lurched forward, as a gasp forced from his lips at the feel of the Duke's fingers inside of him, lubricating him, opening him up ready to receive a far superior offering. His fingers withdrawn there was silence, feeling a firm grip on his hips Thomas steadied himself before moaning in a torturous combination of pain and ecstasy as the Duke entered him, slowly, so slowly at first. Thomas' penis dripped with pre cum as he heard the Duke expelling deep gasps of stimulation.

He eased himself into Thomas until his entire length was submerged within him, then gradually he thrust with consideration for Thomas, before his own need for orgasm overpowered any other thought. He tightened his grip on the under butler as he moved faster and harder. Supporting himself on just one hand Thomas reached down to his erection and masturbated furiously in time with the Duke's movements, he could feel the blood pumping through his veins, his body beginning to quake as his bones felt like they were shattering, Thomas could not hold on much longer and with a cry of Michael's name he ejaculated on the bed sheet. He kept his knees from buckling under him as he trembled, the tremor seeing the Duke withdraw himself from Thomas, but before he could think it was over there was a hand on his shoulder which forced him to turn over onto his back.

The Duke arranged Thomas' legs so they rested on his shoulders; he wanted the under butler to look into his eyes, to see him, so Thomas would remember who was doing this to him, who wanted him and who was making him feel wanted, that it wasn't the young, blonde footman. He pushed himself inside Thomas again throwing his head back in abandon before looking back on the perfect form of the man beneath him, whose eyes begged for Michael's movement inside of him. The Duke complied as he ran his hands lecherously along Thomas' hot strong thighs, he grunted with exertion and the overwhelming sensation of need coursing through his veins. A need soon fulfilled as cried out to the heavens in merciful bliss as he came inside Thomas. He collapsed forward in exhaustion onto the under butler's chest, where sweat clung to the Duke's cheek but kissed him there nonetheless. Widening his jaw he tickled Thomas' skin lightly between his teeth. It was enough to make Thomas hum as he whispered to the Duke, lying strewn over him, "Why did that seem to be better than I remember?"

The Duke murmured, overcome with long awaited fulfilment, "I guess absence doesn't just make _the heart_ grow fonder."


	8. Square

**Thank you all for taking the time to read and review, I am always grateful. Also eternal gratitude goes out to those who are so supportive in following and favouriting, not just the story but me as well. In this chapter a new character comes into play, sort of an anti-O'Brien character, and I hope you will see the relevance of her addition, if not now then later. Apologies for any spelling/ grammar mistakes. Thank you again.**

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It was no mistake or a developed habit Thomas kissing the Duke while he slept, he wanted to feel what should have happened that night with Jimmy, and in that compare the Duke's reaction to the footman's; a morning of passion, as opposed to a heart-breaking rejection. It was the first he wanted, and he knew with the Duke he would continue to have the first one, with Jimmy there would only ever be the second. This thought solidified his decision that he had done the right thing that night; and it wasn't often he could say such a thing for himself. Thomas held no shame as he walked gingerly back to his room as soon as he recovered from his encounter with the Duke. He knew he would feel the effects of his sleeplessness and exertions, but he refused to care. He could not stop grinning, which made him miss breakfast as it took him longer to shave. He had moved on and now he could be happy for Jimmy and be as a true friend to him, which is what they both wanted. However when he came down for the climax of breakfast, startling the maids with a polite nod of his head in greeting, he somehow felt as if he had betrayed Jimmy when he saw the young footman sitting at the table next to an empty seat which he had saved especially for the under butler.

"You look in a better mood today." Jimmy remarked as Thomas filled the seat beside him.

"I had an interesting night." Thomas said, not against making Jimmy feel as if it was their talk in the night which had done it, as in an indirect way it was.

"Good." Jimmy said in satisfaction.

"How about you?" Thomas enquired, seeing to begin their pure friendship anew, "Have you asked her?"

"Not yet." Jimmy whispered as his eyes darted about the faces in the room, certain that the other servants heard.

"Asked who what?" Alfred interrupted. The ginger-headed footman seemingly incapable of keeping his nose out of anything, and Jimmy was quick to tell him so.

"None of your business."

"You've told Mr Barrow." A chillingly accusative voice passed across the room, focussing all of the servants' attention on this conversation through inability to avoid it. Jimmy and Thomas scanned the room and saw plainly that it was Miss O'Brien who spoke, the lady's maid not so different to her nephew that she would gladly meddle in the affairs of others, no matter how innocent they are, just at the tempting prospect of causing trouble. "Why can't you tell the rest of us?" She put to the footman.

"It's my business who I tell my business to." Jimmy calmly replied.

"And you told 'im?" Alfred scowled. Jimmy and Thomas gave him a penetrating look, as suddenly the atmosphere became very threatening for them. They were not beyond thinking that Alfred would reveal the unfortunate night time incident, he happened to witness, to the rest of the servants.

"Yes, I told him." Jimmy held his ground. Thomas kept his head down to keep hidden his warm emotion of the footman's confidence in affirming their friendship to the others.

"Why?" Alfred demanded, looking at Thomas more closely than Jimmy as he tried to find a reason why Jimmy would trust the under butler over him, or anyone else for that matter.

"Because-"

"All right everyone, if you have all finished your breakfast I think it's time we got on." Mr Carson intervened, much to Jimmy's relief, in his usual authoritative voice. All the servants rose as the butler did, and vacated the room, Alfred giving Thomas and Jimmy an equally dirty look, but the objects of his spite believed themselves superior to the second footman so did not pay him any heed. Thomas would remain in the servants' hall until the Duke called him up to the bedroom, and he sensed it would still be a while yet. Before sitting back down he touched Jimmy on the shoulder in silent gratitude for standing by him. The footman smiled and patted the under butler's hand before leaving. Now he was alone Thomas took out a cigarette, his first since his walk with Jimmy and relished the taste of it as he began to smoke. Soon enough a young girl entered, she was no more than twenty, her blonde hair tied up in a neat bun. Taking advantage of the deserted room she came and sat a few seats along from Thomas, he paid her little notice in favour of his cigarette. The girl opened a lengthy book and started reading, but all in pretence as it was not long before she opened communications with the under butler. "You two look good together." Thomas raised his eyes and confusedly turned, as if just realising he was not alone. He faced the young girl and made her repeat herself. "You two look good together." She said more sheepishly, now worried about the consequence for her momentary outspokenness.

"What do you mean by that?" Thomas asked accusingly, taking a distracting drag of his cigarette.

"You and James." She said hesitantly.

Thomas was awestruck by her openness should she be insinuating what he thought she was. "We're friends." He told her, not in full understanding of why this girl to whom he had never spoken was bringing up such a fragile subject which could land them both in trouble should anyone overhear.

"Of course. I just thought there may be more than that."

"Why would there be?" Thomas having no desire to confide in this girl whose talk reminded him of that of O'Brien's when Jimmy first arrived, how encouraging she was regarding his and Jimmy's relationship; to a cruel purpose.

"I may have only been here a short while Mr Barrow, but I do know things." She said suggestively.

"Exactly, you have only been here a short time, and you haven't spoken to myself or Jimmy, therefore you don't know anything." Thomas' eyes widened, almost in warning, to keep her from saying more.

"I don't speak when I can listen, Mr Barrow. I learn a lot more from observing than from getting involved." The girl explained. From his past schemes with O'Brien Thomas knew the girl wasn't necessarily wrong. "And I know about you, what you are." She said in an attempt to prove herself to the under butler, who understood now why some of the others described the girl as intelligent when talking of the new maid, as it normally took much longer than the four days she had been working at Downton to figure him out.

"You're Victoria aren't you?" Mr Barrow finally decided to ask the identity of this girl who was visiting such discomfort upon him.

"Yes Mr Barrow."

"Well Victoria would you kindly stop observing?" His words could not disguise the frustration in his voice. Victoria took the hint and continued reading her book. However he did want to know what it was she had seen. He had moved on, Jimmy had moved on, there was nothing there and yet what this girl said was so inviting, after all if she had seen something between them then he should find out what it is, otherwise others may get the wrong idea and use it against them, especially after their spat with Alfred and O'Brien at breakfast. The maid was only allowed to read two lines before Mr Barrow broke her concentration. "Why do you think there's more… between me and James?" He sighed nervously, taking care to use Jimmy's given name.

Victoria closed her book, and to express the understanding of the seriousness of their conversation she moved up to sit beside Thomas and told him in hushed tones, her blue eyes locked with his; "If you want to know the truth; when I see you together it's just, it's so natural. It's a beautiful thing, not just to have but to behold. You're so open with each other, it's like when you're together you're not afraid."

"You can't be right then." Thomas said glibly, for if Jimmy was as open as Victoria made out then his realised intention with Ivy must be serious and he was the ladies' man everyone made him out to be.

"I doubt you talk much about your romantic feelings. Am I wrong?" Thomas confirmed her assumption with silence. "The thing is you have no shame as to who you are Mr Barrow, and I hold so much admiration for you for that. However if Jimmy is like you then he is probably scared, maybe even unknowing as to what he is. You must remember a time when you felt like that." Thomas' mind flashed back to when he was young, when he first experienced his inclination towards men, how he felt about it and his original denial over it. It did not last long, but it did happen. "Jimmy may never have even thought about it much." Victoria continued. "Maybe he doesn't want to."

"I don't think so. He's a ladies' man." Thomas stubbed out his cigarette angrily prolonging the grinding of it into the ash tray before him.

"If that's what you'd prefer to think."

"He's going to ask Ivy to be his girl. So it is."

"I see." The girl beginning to regret opening her mouth in the first place, "I'm sorry I know I shouldn't speak my mind, that it is probably hard for you as is it and I may be making it worse-"

"Lose the 'may be'." Thomas cut her off, wishing the girl would stop before he said something he would regret to cease the churning in his stomach.

Victoria noticed the under butler's refusal to look at her, so thought carefully before continuing, deciding to waiver the appearance of arrogance, "People say I'm smart, I know they do, but I'm not. I just see things that other people can't, but only because I look. There's very little I can do with what I have, but if I can help two people come together then I will, because as I said I think you would be good together."

"You 'think', but you know nothing." Thomas' said; his anger turning into sadness.

"I know it won't work with him and Ivy." Victoria told him in an effort to bring him hope. It didn't really, and he didn't want it.

"Why's that?"

"Because James is young, he's sensitive, and he's passionate. He needs someone to steady him, and that someone isn't a ditzy kitchen maid." Thomas started to think maybe this girl did know some things, after such an accurate description of Ivy, "I just think that James is so much more when he's with you, and I think you're more when you're with him. As I said, it's a beautiful thing to behold."

Thomas chortled sarcastically.

"What?" In all Victoria's observations she could not see why Thomas was laughing.

He would have brushed her off and said 'nothing' but he dared to look at her, and he saw a young innocent girl shrouded in serenity only reflecting a pureness of heart, without a stain of ill will. A girl who he suddenly felt he could be honest with. "You just remind me of someone who tried to convince me of the exact same thing a long time ago, I believed her, and did something about it."

"And?"

"It broke me." Thomas choked, finding these words were the fewest he could say without pouring his heart out and dwelling for the least amount of time on what happened.

"Who was it who told you?" Victoria lowered her eyes, conveying the greatest sympathy in her voice, sympathy which Thomas felt.

"Miss O'Brien."

Victoria did not need Thomas to tell her that the ladies' maid, through her own nature, purposely lied to bring about his downfall. "I'm sorry Mr Barrow. I really am. Please forget I said anything." Victoria touched the under butler on the arm, he was stunned by her familiarity, but also glad for it as she stood to leave, book in hand. He was used to repulsion which routinely followed after conversations far more innocent than this, not a sweet smile and a touch on the arm that the young girl offered. On exiting the room she turned to Mr Barrow and said to him, "There's just one thing though Mr Barrow."

"What's that?" Thomas forced himself to raise his head to her.

"I'm not Miss O'Brien."

Thomas stared into the space Victoria left behind as she went out of his view. Thomas took a breath in meditation over the girl's words. Could she really be right, only minutes after he had declared his feelings for Jimmy at an end? Moments later the first footman came in looking flustered as he ran around the table, sparing Thomas a quick acknowledgement by way of saying, "I dropped me gloves." Thomas looked down and saw the offending objects lying by his feet, bending down he picked them up and handed them to Jimmy who took them silently with a nod of thanks, no time to time to get drawn into any chatter, and then darted awkwardly from the room. The possible truth of what Victoria spoke of; the thought Thomas dared to entertain, vanished as quickly as it appeared. She said she saw things when she looked, so in that passing encounter he too searched, and could see nothing of what she mentioned. Taking another cigarette from his pocket, believing he had time to savour one more, he cursed to himself, "Bloody women."


	9. A Friendly Warning

**Thank you so much for reading, you are all fantastic. I know it may seem strange, and I hope I won't disappoint any of you, in my upcoming characterisation of the Duke, but I feel I should warn you it is going to get stranger, but please trust me and stay with me on this and I hope that I can nullify any discontent. I'm trying to go for something more original, I can only hope I'll pull it off, but there are several (8 or 9) more chapters to come with the Duke so there is time for developments. Apologies for any spelling/ grammar mistakes. Thank you all again.**

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The day passed uneventfully for the Duke; walking with Mr Branson and Lord Grantham, partaking in luncheon with the family, minding the baby with Lady Mary; but for Thomas, despite his rush after his early morning 'exercise', his head hurt from the onslaught of thoughts on his mind. Certainly he was happy, but he was struck by how different the Duke was to what he remembered. Of course he was perfectly pleasant the first day he was with the family, Thomas put that down to general politeness, but as he watched he saw something which went deeper than this. Could it be genuine kindness? Thomas recalled the Duke saying he had changed, he did not actually think it could be true, but what was passing before his eyes gave him cause to wonder. The Duke's presence actually seemed to be helping the family; he was acting as a rock for them and he did not complain once about it when he was found to be alone with Thomas. In those moments the Duke would whisper an innocent joke to him, tease his fingers, and pay him compliments expected of a devoted lover; Thomas could not suppress a smile from most of them, but not for lack of wanting to. He had to continually remind himself that the Duke was playing a game with him; he just wanted that 'freedom' he so adequately described. It would take more than a few sweet nothings in his ears to change his mind. In spite of this he was glad of the Duke's attention when it gave him the strength in his mission to move on from Jimmy, if the noble were not there Thomas would have likely sobbed himself to sleep the night before instead of indulging in a banquet of sensual pleasure, and at least he would continue to act as a distraction for him over the coming days when it would be the hardest for him to see Ivy and Jimmy together.

* * *

The servants were collecting in the servants' hall ready for dinner, Thomas was about to go in but he was stopped by Jimmy, who was sat at the table, supposedly waiting for him. He raised his hands and mouthed for Thomas to turn around, getting up to follow behind the under butler who retreated back out of the room. Jimmy wouldn't answer when Thomas asked him what was going on, fearing another inquisition, but guided him outside where they could be alone. The cold October night was drawing in and a chill crept up the arms' of the men, in too much of a hurry to grab a coat on the way out, so they made do with folding their arms tightly across their chests.

"All right Jimmy?" Thomas urged the footman to state his purpose.

"We need to talk." This was more obvious than why they needed to do so.

"What about?"

"You and the Duke." Jimmy said warily. He clearly had no desire to bring up the subject except through necessity, although Thomas was frustrated at his friend's persistence and began to wish he had never told him anything.

"Jimmy we've been through this."

"Not enough it seems. Don't play ignorant with me Thomas. I've seen you."

Thomas should start to believe that Jimmy was stalking him as he always seemed to know what was going on; maybe he _was_ hiding in the Duke's closet. "And what exactly have you seen?"

"Looks, touches, smiles-"

"Oh come on Jimmy." Thomas tilted his head back in a feigned expression of absurdity at what he was hearing.

"No! I know what's going on. Don't deny it." Jimmy, not taking pleasure from being lied to, let the cold in at his chest by pointing at Thomas in warning not to speak should the words be a lie, "I may not know the secret language of love but I can tell when two people are into each other, and it doesn't help that I know about your past with the Duke."

"That's all it is. The past."

"Which has now turned into the present." Jimmy countered.

"What's it to you? It's got nothing to do with you." Thomas gave in to the need to move his arms in response to Jimmy's claim, more concerned now about why his friend was so upset over it, it could not be just because Thomas played the relationship closer to his chest than the footman had with Ivy.

Jimmy stopped in disappointment at Thomas, who had told him so angrily of how the Duke had hurt him in the past but now seemed to be playing right into his hands. "So you admit it then?"

"Yes, if you admit you're being irrational."

"I'm not jealous." Thomas' look at this response was an exact reflection of how Jimmy felt; confused. Why did he say that?

"Didn't say you were;" Thomas said sceptically, "I said you were irrational. What are you doing then?"

"I'm being a friend, I'm being concerned. If I figured it out don't you think other people will?"

For some reason Thomas' mind went straight to Victoria. "It's my business." Thomas moved his arms back across his chest and rubbed his biceps; a movement which drew Jimmy's eyes until he was attacked by a shiver which refocused him in a want to get back inside.

"Not anymore."

"Why? Do you think you have some kind of hold over me?" Thomas raised his eyebrows, stunned at the claim his friend seemed to be making.

"No I-"

"Jimmy I need you to tell me now." Thomas interrupted, having had enough of the youth's childishness.

"What?"

"I need you to tell me, straight out right now that it is just concern, that you… that you don't have feelings for me." To Thomas it was the best reason he could think of as to why Jimmy was behaving in such a way, and he knew the answer would be unfavourable, to save himself the torment he wished it was, but he had to hear it to set his mind straight about the footman's motives here.

"You're asking me this now? After everything, you're choosing to ask me this?"

"I am." Thomas kept his resolve to know the truth.

"What makes you think I would have feelings for you after everything?" Jimmy could not understand; had he given any reason for Thomas to think he held such feelings?

"I don't know. Just the way you're being now, when I've been nothing but supportive with you and Ivy, and I don't see why you can't be the same with me." Thomas chose to conceal the conversation he had with Victoria, even though in an honest answer it would have certainly surfaced.

"This is insane." Jimmy screeched, drawing his hand through his hair, trying to work out how his original question had come to this. Why was it that every time he wanted to ask something of Thomas he was the one who always ended up in hot water? He waited, thinking the under butler would back down if he said nothing for long enough, but he knew that the older man could and would outlast him, even in the cold, which did seem to be a natural element for the under butler. "No, I don't, I'm sorry. Nothing's changed. As I told you before I will never be able to give you what you want. I'm going to be with Ivy, and I'm happy, and what's more I'll be able to show people I'm happy with her. That's something you and the Duke can never have. I don't want that life. I would never choose that life. I know you don't have a choice, but see, neither do I."

Thomas took a step towards Jimmy, the younger man raised his head and saw that Thomas was not upset as he expected him to be; maybe it was true that Thomas had moved on. What the under butler said confirmed his thought. "Then you should be happy I've found someone and moved on, even if it is just for a few days. Then we can both just be happy for each other, and we can forget this conversation ever happened."

"I think it's for the best." Jimmy nodded, not wanting Thomas to remember too vividly what he said before, although he seemed happy enough to hear it.

"At least we're agreed on that." Thomas clapped the footman on the arm before looking over to the door, both men having the same idea, and they turned to go inside. The realisation of just how lowered their body temperatures had become set in as the warmth of indoors hit them and they felt their cheeks and fingers defrosting. They came in and all eyes rested on them as they scurried to the two vacant seats across the room, rubbing their hands together urgently and pressing their palms against their reddened cheeks.

"Cold out is it?" Mrs Patmore asked the pair cheekily as she came in to pass Ivy a bowl from which she would serve up soup for the servants.

Ivy saw Jimmy shivering and was immediately concerned, "Jimmy are you all right?" Not minding that Thomas was in an equal state of coldness.

"Yes thank you Ivy, just seeing you has warmed me right up." He felt Thomas' elbow nudging him in warning of his forwardness as Jimmy saw Mr Carson glaring at him, so dialled down his flirtation with a genuine proposition, "Ivy, I was wondering if whether, on your half day, you'd like to go out… with me?" The silence at the table was more readily felt, no one knowing whether to look at Jimmy or the kitchen maid.

"Really?" She beamed; taken aback by the proposal, the blood rushing to her cheeks in delight that her much delayed dream had come true.

"Yes." Jimmy forgot all about the cold, the consciousness of his question being asked in front of the staff was enough to see him through it.

"I'd love to." Already the sound of church bells and crying babies could be heard in the kitchen maid's ears.

"Great." Jimmy smiled, starting to wonder whether this was such a good idea as he did not appreciate a girl to be so overeager. Then he remembered his conversation with Thomas and the conclusion that he needed to be more easy- going, and so settled himself accordingly with his decision.

Seeing that Ivy was about to burst with happiness Daisy took the bowl of soup from her and told her to go into the kitchen to compose herself before she split it all over Mr Carson's head, who was having enough trouble keeping his silence about the matter.

"Thought you weren't interested in her." Alfred was the first to speak as the kitchen maid fled the room. His contempt for the first footman dripped from his forked tongue.

"You thought wrong then didn't you?" Jimmy sneered; the contest between the two footmen now having reached its long expected conclusion.

"I think it'll be well nice, to have another couple downstairs." Daisy said in reference to other couple of Anna and Bates, as she made her way around the room with the soup, pleased that now Alfred would no longer continue to obsess over Ivy.

"You certainly owe her after the way you've been leading her on for so long." The aforementioned Bates said to Jimmy, speaking for the staff body who were all relieved that they would no longer have to put up with the drama of the pentagon (although Thomas' side was not known to everyone).

"Yes, thank you everybody." Jimmy announced sarcastically, so the servants had to hold back their laughter.

"Haven't you got anything to say Thomas?" Miss O'Brien said, unsatisfied that the under butler had not yet given any reaction to the news.

"That's Mr Barrow to you Miss OBrien, and I'm happy if James is happy." The under butler revelled in Miss O'Brien's failure in her want to expose him.

"Thank you Mr Barrow." Jimmy said as the pair leaned slightly in a bow to each other in comradeship.

The soup finished being distributed the servants lost themselves in the task of consuming Mrs Patmore's dish, before the silence became unsettling for Mr Molesley, "The Duke's nice in't he?" Thomas tried to look disinterested upon hearing that title, but he was not used to kind words being spoken of the man, "He asked me how I knew Mr Crawley and he was very sympathetic when I said I used to valet for him."

"He's more pleasant than when he was last here that's for sure." Anna agreed, having been told by Lady Mary just how much of a comfort the Duke has been to the family, "Don't you think so Mr Barrow?"

"He's just the same far as I can see." He saw Jimmy look at him uncomfortably out of the corner of his eye.

"You don't like him then?" Bates asked with little surprise, as Thomas was not well known to like anyone, except Jimmy.

"Doesn't matter if I like him or not."

"I think he's kind." Anna stated directly to Thomas. "He's been very good to Lady Mary."

"He's been good to the whole family." Bates treading the road of the obedient husband, except his opinions formed more originally than 'yes dear'.

If only they knew, Thomas thought, that the Duke had been seducing the servants, the _male_ servants, in his spare time, they wouldn't think so fondly of him then.

Mrs Hughes entered upon the conversation. "No doubt, after what happened to his poor wife." Thomas' head shot up at this; the Duke was married?

"I didn't know he was married. What happened to his wife Mrs Hughes?" Anna asked her.

"All right everyone that's enough of that. We do not make it our business to discuss the private affairs of our guests." Mr Carson clearly knew himself what Mrs Hughes was talking about and it must have been tragic or scandalous for him to want to keep it in the upstairs domain.

The servants simultaneously put their heads down towards the next course of their meal, which had been placed before them, and simultaneously uttered, "Yes Mr Carson." But Thomas' curiosity was irrevocably aroused.


	10. Tenderness

**This rather short chapter embodies the strangeness I mentioned in the last chapter for the Duke's character, but I hope that this only intrigues you further. Thank you so much for reading and for all the positive feedback and support for my writing. Please enjoy.**

**Apologies for any spelling/ grammar mistakes.**

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That night Thomas visited the Duke, who managed to bring out the under butler's energy, but it was different from the night before. There was tenderness in every move the Duke made, in every word he spoke. The need for physical attachment had vanished the night before, now there was something more fragile and distinct between them as Thomas fell asleep in the Duke's arms under the calming touch of fingers stroking his hair. It was a peaceful night of sleep and Jimmy did not feature in Thomas' dreams, but for once he did not mind his absence. On waking Thomas was reluctant to skulk back to his room alone, but he had no choice. The Duke kissed his forehead and, as a proper gentleman should, showed him to the door, taking the opportunity to ask Thomas if he might like to accompany him to the village after lunch to run a couple of errands. The under butler was naturally suspicious; the attachment clause the Duke said would be non- existent in their relationship was somehow breaking down. Something was changing; Thomas could feel it in his heart as much as he could in his mind; to what though he didn't dare to think about. It did not stop him from saying yes to the Duke's request, and found that since he started his work he could not stop staring at the clock.

* * *

Thomas and the Duke were wandering through the fields on the way back to Downton Abbey from their short trip to the village, the long grass still held upon it the moisture from the rainfall the night before last, yet the previous dry spell had seen that the ground beneath their feet was soft but not enough to muddy their shoes. The men trekked through the grass, brushing wildly against their trouser legs and the ends of their coats, the wind beating their faces gave them a sense of oneness with the world about them, a raw feeling which breathed romance through the vegetation surrounding them as it rustled lushly.

The conversation between the two men was relaxed and vivid as they laughed, enjoying each other's company; a thing Thomas would not have for a moment thought possible. All ideas of deception had been driven from his mind as the Duke continued in all his sweetness towards him, including taking the liberty of entwining his fingers in Thomas' as they walked through the field shoulder to shoulder, taking advantage of their seclusion. Thomas felt the grip on his fingers but disentangled them, unable to reciprocate. The Duke looked at Thomas kindly, "No need to look so scared Thomas."

"I'm just trying to understand your intention." Thomas withdrew himself from the Duke, stopping to face him.

"And what do you think that is?"

"I thought this was supposed to be a bit of fun." Thomas said, seeing that the Duke's actions had gone past that.

"It is; it doesn't mean I can't treat you well." The Duke ran his finger along Thomas' jaw line, but the under butler pulled away as confusion clouded his trust.

"You didn't treat me well when you first arrived." Thomas recalled the Duke's untiring manipulation.

"I know that, and I think now maybe I should have taken a different approach it's just that I remember the first time we met and how my… shadiness, I suppose you could call it, worked on you. I thought it would have the same effect this time around. It didn't occur to me that perhaps you had changed."

"Really?" Thomas compared his meeting the Duke to the last couple of days, and saw that the manipulative Duke was exactly the man the old Thomas would have been attracted to, and the Duke had no way of knowing that the Thomas standing before him wasn't the old Thomas.

"I told you I've changed."

'We both have', Thomas thought. "What have you being doing the past eight years?" Contentment kept Thomas silent the night before of questions regarding the Duke's wife, but wondered now if perhaps her existence could explain the change in the Duke's character, a change he was almost willing to accept.

"I assume you mean away from the war?" The Duke turned to continue walking, slower than their previous pace to suit the tone of the conversation. "I was married, but I get the feeling you knew that."

"What happened?" Thomas was somewhat disappointed, as he always thought the Duke was a man who would not conform to the satisfaction of society, so to hear he was married was a blow to the under butler. Was there no one like him in the world?

"She died after the war; flu." The Duke did not stop, to aid the wind drying any tears that may spring from his eyes at the recollection.

"I'm sorry." Thomas could tell it still caused the Duke pain to talk about it.

"Not as sorry as I am." He stopped, deliberating whether to reveal more to Thomas, "It was after her death that I found out she was carrying my child." The Duke tightened his lips to prevent them from inverting as he looked out across the fields.

Thomas was never any good at comfort, so keeping at a distance he asked the only considerate question he could think of. "What was she like?"

"She was kind, very kind, and generous. I didn't love her at first, but I grew to love her. The thing I regret the most is that I never told her enough. She gave me a wonderful gift though, she taught me to treasure things when I have them; to make the most of every day, every feeling. Seize the day philosophy I suppose. I know I haven't quite figured out how to better acquire the things I have, as you've seen, but when I have them I treat them well and don't let them go so easily."

"But if they do go?" Thomas didn't know if his question was with regard to himself, but he wanted to ask.

"Then I take it back." The Duke shrugged, for a powerful man he was. He crouched down to the ground and plucked a wild blue bell flower from among the weeds and in standing he presented it to Thomas, his face wearing the embarrassment of a simple gesture. Thomas reached out his gloved hand and gripped the stem, looking into the eyes of the Duke, who touched Thomas' fingers, and moved to take the under butler's hands in his, and kissed them lovingly. When he looked up Thomas saw his eyes were red with the onset on tears. "Sometimes I miss her so much Thomas." He whimpered, falling forward into Thomas' arms to weep into his shoulder.


	11. Sweet Little Things

**I hope the last chapter has not been too much of a disappointment, in how different I have made the Duke's character, but as I said before; please trust me. I do nothing without a reason. Thank you all so much for continuing to read, I hope you are getting as much pleasure from reading as I am from writing. Apologies for any spelling/ grammar mistakes.**

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The only question on Thomas' mind, when he and the Duke parted ways after the afternoon they spent together, was 'who was this man?' Because Thomas did not know him. In the eight years the two men had been parted the Duke had undergone a change, and Thomas was not only willing to accept it, but he had felt it, and he welcomed the feeling it rose in him although there was fear there also. The Duke's tears were just as real as the happiness Thomas felt by being there to comfort him and dry his eyes with the delicate trace of his thumb. Thomas pressed his willing lips against the cold skin of the Duke's forehead, unconscious to the act itself as all despair and past deception were gone. These two enlightened souls could accept the changes in their lives and where they had been delivered by them, seemingly destined to be in that field in each other's arms; to be far away from the world without experiencing the fear brought by the darkness it holds for men like these two. For Thomas, it was all he ever wanted, and he thought he could stand in that field forever. However they were expected back so Thomas vanished inside, back into that world which acted now as a prison from which he wanted to break free. It was made more difficult by the romance blossoming between Jimmy and Ivy, who did not hesitate in brandishing their relationship in all its enviable liberty at every opportunity.

"Hello handsome." The kitchen maid greeted her beau as he came into the kitchen to fulfil his daily requirement of doting upon the young girl.

"Ivy, you look very pretty today, have you done something with your hair?" Jimmy flirted, examining her shining head of hair and saw a glimpse of pale blue tied about her bun.

"Just put a bow in it." Ivy said modestly, blushing as the footman reached across her shoulder and played with the stray end of the ribbon hanging down the back of her neck.

"It suits you." He smiled to the girl's joy as she giggled, resisting the temptation to give Jimmy a quick sneaky peck on the cheek.

"Here that's enough of that!" Mrs Patmore made her presence known to the young couple, as if she knew what Ivy was thinking about doing. "I know you two are sweethearts now but that's no reason to flaunt it about."

"Yes Mrs Patmore." The pair rolled their eyes in reluctant obedience. Jimmy took his hand back, making sure he touched Ivy on the cheek as he did so, the girl raising her shoulder and cocking her head in a movement indicating that she would have liked to trap his hand there. He gave an over charming smile before going from the kitchen, as Mrs Patmore could be heard reprimanding Ivy for wearing a ribbon in her hair. Jimmy wondered whether Thomas might be about, as he hadn't spoken to him all morning and wanted to know how he had gotten on with the Duke that afternoon; Thomas having told him of his engagement when he had to deny the young footman's request for his company over lunch. Jimmy came into the corridor and saw a human shadow cast across the floor, looking up he saw Alfred there giving him a noxious frown. Jimmy suspected that perhaps the second footman had purposely been waiting for him, but he chose not to stop and find out, that was before Alfred made him, barring the blonde man's way with his thin frame.

"You think you're something right special don't you?" He spat.

Jimmy was exasperated by Alfred's quarrel with him; he occasionally thought he and Alfred might get on if he didn't act like a complete and utter moron the majority of the time. It was this behaviour which got Jimmy angry, like it threatened to do now as he did not like his subordinate blocking his way. "Ivy does." Jimmy sneered, knowing that fact would make Alfred suffer the most.

"Only because she doesn't know what you're really like." Jimmy's remorseless ambition and vanity were the chief flaws which came to Alfred's mind.

"That must be more than what you are. How does it feel Alfred to always be second best?" Jimmy stood chest to chest with Alfred in physical challenge.

"What's going on here?" The smooth voice of Mr Barrow broke the two footmen apart, Jimmy suddenly felt ashamed at his friend witnessing his childish conduct, which he had been warned of in the past by him.

"That's it, have Mr Barrow step in to save you." Alfred remarked of Jimmy recoiling at Mr Barrow's entry upon the scene.

"Oi! That's enough!" Mr Barrow raised his voice, his strict tone was a shock to them all, but Jimmy felt a strange stimulation within him, drawing from his lips an excited smile. "Any more of that and I'll send you to Mr Carson, got it?! Now get on." Alfred scampered away with his tail between his legs as Thomas adjusted his jacket at a job well done and asked Jimmy; "What were that about?"

"Just Alfred being a git." He replied mechanically, not taking his eyes from Thomas.

"Might help if you didn't rub it in his face." Thomas' natural tone returned to him.

"Me? He started it!" Jimmy exclaimed, his preoccupation with Thomas' domination of the situation ceasing.

"I don't care. I know you Jimmy Kent. You need to... steady yourself." Victoria's past words echoed in his head as he quietly spoke them into Jimmy's ear, standing now at his shoulder. "Just calm down, all right?" He touched Jimmy on the back before heading for the servants' hall.

"Very good Mr Barrow." Jimmy nodded, following his friend; believing that Thomas, even knowing how contrary a character he was, could calm any storm.

"So how were your afternoon?" Jimmy sat down beside Thomas in the empty servants' hall.

"Can't complain." Thomas said vaguely, turning his chair to face the footman, he didn't think it best to reveal how the Duke had started crying on his shoulder through the lost love of his deceased wife.

"Really?" Jimmy brought his chair around to meet Thomas.

"What did you expect me to say?"

"Well you know… has he been all right with you?" Jimmy put as subtly as he could, half expecting the Duke to have tricked Thomas in some way.

"Course he has."

"Good." Jimmy said diffidently, leaning forward so his elbows were resting on his knees, and interlocking his fingers. Thomas could have sworn he was able to smell the youth's hair from where he was sat.

"What's the matter?" Referring to Jimmy's dozy expression.

"Hmm?" The footman's eyes did not follow his eyebrows' lead and raise themselves, prompting Thomas to repeat the question. "Nothing." Jimmy shook his head, sitting up a little.

"You sure? You look a little peaky." Thomas raised a hand and hovered his fingers around Jimmy's eyes. Jimmy had a troubling urge to lean forward into them.

"I'm fine Thomas… Stop." He giggled, slapping Thomas' restless fingers away. The under butler, liking to see his young friend laugh, poked at Jimmy's side. The footman curled forward to defend himself, stifling his laughter. Thomas joined in with the merriment, ignoring the footman's attempt to catch his breath, not showing him mercy as he started in with his other hand. They struggled but Jimmy managed to grab a hold of Thomas' wrists and held them at arm's length away from him, but the under butler had come forward to try and overpower him, their elbows now close to touching. Still laughing the pair writhed, but stopped at an impasse as they caught each other's eyes. The bright of Thomas' blue locked with the dark of Jimmy's. Both men felt the slowness of their breathing and the rhythmic beating of their hearts as they just looked at each other. It could have been hours, but it did not matter, they could have stayed there for hours more, neither man wanting to break away first but unable to proceed further. Thomas slid his hands down through Jimmy's loosening grip to take the footman's hands in his fingers and draw them down so their arms rested upon their laps, the back of Jimmy's hands cupped in Thomas' open palms. They noticed that in their play their legs had come to rest alongside each other, so the insides of their thighs were pressed together. Jimmy felt the muscle in Thomas' leg and swallowed nervously as he took notice of every sensation passing between them; it was stronger than anything he had ever experienced. Thomas made the first move by returning Jimmy's hands to him while he moved his chair back. The connection was broken, and it was all Jimmy could do to not start poking Thomas in the side.


	12. An Unexpected Offer

**Again, a bit of strangeness with the Duke. I'm surprised at how well received this characterisation of him has been so far, and the story as a whole come to think of it. Thank you for reading and all the wonderful reviews, as well as those of you who are kindly following and favouriting, it makes me giddy :D Please enjoy.**

**Apologies for any spelling/ grammar mistakes.**

* * *

This was the fifth day the Duke had been at Downton and the time had passed as a scene from a future that Thomas once believed did not exist for him. The Duke and he grew close, almost not afraid to express in public their contentment with each other. Thomas had learned to trust that the side of the Duke he was being treated to was in fact the genuine article, and he could not be more pleased, he only wished time could slow, as his fantasy would be over with the Duke's stay, for they only had two more days together. The relationship between Jimmy and Ivy seemed stable enough and Thomas had gotten used to it, enjoying being able to exchange stories with his friend about the developments in both of their relationships. Thomas did not divulge much of his goings on with the Duke as, even though his friend's tolerance was a blessing, he could not assume to think he was so at ease that he should say any more than to reassure Jimmy that the Duke was not causing him any suffering. As they both wanted, they were happy for each other and for themselves. It seemed nothing could break the spell the last days had cast, that is until Thomas was called upstairs unexpectedly to see Lord Grantham, who wanted a private word with him in the library. Not having a clue as to the reason behind this summons Thomas leaped up the stairs, not wanting to keep his curiosity waiting for satisfaction any longer than necessary, and came into the library where his Lordship was sat on the sofa by the fire.

"You wanted to see me Your Lordship?" Thomas announced himself as he came into the presence of his Lordship. Mr Carson was standing in attendance, and Thomas did not know what to think when his Lordship did not ask him to leave.

"Yes Barrow. I'll get straight to the point. I've had a rather strange request from the Duke…" Thomas hoped that his face did not convey the panic he was feeling inside, "it seems that he has been so impressed with your services over the last few days that he has asked for my permission to offer you a position in his household; as butler."

"M'Lord?" Thomas gaped, not sure he had heard correctly. An expression shared with Carson, who was no doubt allowed to remain in the room for if Thomas should accept the offer then Carson would find himself without a second in command.

"I appreciated his asking for permission, but I told him _he_ should be the one to offer you the job. Though for some reason he insisted that it would be better received coming from me."

Of course the Duke knew he would fall from Thomas' trust if he made the proposition to him the same way he had eight years ago. In this revised way Thomas would know of his sincerity. Thomas was speechless.

"I know we've had our ups and downs Barrow, but I think you have made good of yourself as of late and I would rather you stay, but I cannot make the decision for you. The Duke said that you can take your time deciding, but I want to know as soon as you have."

"Yes M'Lord. Thank you M'Lord." Thomas, still aghast, bowed his head and went briskly from the room, not failing to miss the accusing look Mr Carson gave him, like he was betraying the household merely by being offered a position elsewhere. Coming into the hall Thomas stood alone and took a deep breath; what did this mean? Why did the Duke want him to come and work for him? Thomas could scarcely believe it. He was angry as much as he was confused. Hearing footsteps he looked up and saw the Duke himself standing at the top of the second flight of stairs, gazing down upon him. Thomas would have shouted at him, but he saw the Duke turn his head indicatively towards the top of the stairs. He wanted Thomas to follow him. Pursing his lips the under butler stalked him darkly and when they came into the bedroom, no sooner was the door closed than Thomas screamed at the Duke, "What the hell do you think you're playing at?"

"If I asked you myself about the job I didn't think you'd believe me after what happened last time. I thought this way my intentions to you would be clear." The Duke argued, not pretending to be unaware of why his lover was so angry at him.

"Well they're not." Thomas paced, his hands folded behind his head, "I don't understand, I thought this wasn't supposed to mean anything. No attachments you said." He brought his hands down and pointed them at the Duke in fury.

"I know; I know I did," The Duke dared to stand before Thomas and hold him still, "but these last few days together have been the first since my Beatrice died where I haven't felt alone. I can't go back to that. I want you with me Thomas. Things can be different to how they were last time. We can be together, just as ourselves. We can be free; just you and me. Isn't that what you've always wanted?" He raised his hands to cup Thomas' face but the under butler removed himself and pushed the Duke away, keeping his back to him.

He sighed in disbelief, "You make it sound simple.

"I think it could be. As master and head of a household we wouldn't be sneaking around. I don't have a great number of staff but they've been with me a long time, they're loyal and I don't think they would have anything to say against their superior and their employer. I think it could work Thomas." There was so much hope and enthusiasm in his voice it came across to Thomas almost as a childish dream.

"Michael-" He rubbed his face in weariness.

"I know you have a lot to think about," The Duke wisely stopped Thomas, should he say something in acceptance or refusal of his offer before having had time to think about it, "but even if I leave and months of my absence makes you see that you want to come, write me and I will be waiting at the station." Michael approached Thomas and gripped his shoulders, rubbing them soothingly. Thomas murmured his approval, feeling those educated hands turning him around and sliding onto either side of his neck, forcing Thomas to look into his eyes, "I mean all that I say Thomas. Believe me."

"Michael-" Thomas whispered in confusion and adulation.

"I want to be with you Thomas, just you… I think the only question you need to ask yourself is; do you want to be with me?"


	13. Affirmation

**Thank you all so very much for taking your time to read my little story. It makes me so happy, and I'm glad I seem to be succeeding in intriguing you with my characterisation of the Duke. Please enjoy what's ahead. **

**Apologies for any spelling/ grammar mistakes.**

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It was Ivy's half day and, as promised, Jimmy took her out. They went around the village where he treated the girl to a new scarf, then for a drink at the Grantham Arms, making small talk mostly. The kitchen maid couldn't take her eyes from the dashing blonde who flirted incessantly with her, as he felt he was supposed to, touching her cheek when he could, to marvel in her green eyes which he likened to emeralds. His mind, however, was actually thinking back to when he was caught in that clinch with Thomas in the servant's hall, and he saw in the under butler's eyes the entire world, gravitated by the emotion and meaning seeping through the very cores of his pupils.

Had he gone mad? It was eyes!

Ivy, in the meantime, had been in such a daze since Jimmy asked her to be his girl that her work had no doubt suffered, but it did not seem to matter when the result was being on the arm of the handsome first footman. Apart from Alfred and Miss O'Brien all of the staff had been very supportive, even Mr Carson, but when Daisy initiated talk about marriage and babies, and all that rubbish Jimmy had no desire to think about, he grew frustrated, especially when the chatter spread. Now every time one of the maids saw them together they would sing the wedding march. Jimmy did not like them putting ideas into Ivy's head, ideas he could not reject openly to her, and just hoped she would not take their jokes seriously. It was in Thomas' company that he found respite, all his problems seemed to melt away and it made it much easier for him to be with Ivy and put up with all the gossip and mockery. He even found he could put up with Alfred when the under butler was beside him. Night was setting in and the couple were walking back to Downton, indulging in some usual gossip about the other staff. Jimmy had his arm around Ivy; who leaned into his chest adoringly.

"I don't know why she didn't like me." Ivy said.

"Who? Daisy?" Jimmy asked.

"Yeah. We're all right now, but before she were right nasty to me." Ivy recalled the assistant cook's attitude to her when she started working at Downton, the first thing the girl said to her being 'we don't have to get on'.

"It was because of Alfred." Jimmy told her out right; surprised that Ivy didn't know this already.

"What about him?"

"She liked him. Didn't you know?" Jimmy was willing to look past Ivy's simple mind, but a deaf mute could have figured out that Daisy had long held a crush for the second footman.

"No."

"Yeah, she were jealous because he fancied you." Jimmy gripped Ivy's arm, as if staking his claim to her.

"I did tell him I weren't interested, but he doesn't get the message." Ivy shook her head.

"There's little hope for that one." Keeping to himself the thought that maybe Ivy and Alfred would suit each other as they both seemed incapable of seeing things that were right before their eyes.

"And there won't be so long as you're around." Ivy placed her hand upon Jimmy's chest.

"I'm not going anywhere." Jimmy reassured her.

"Glad to hear it." Ivy bit her lip as she looked up at the footman, who turned himself towards her, taking her arms in his hands, and leaned in to kiss her.

"Jimmy? What are you playing at?" Ivy exclaimed in alarm as she leaned back.

"I was trying to kiss you." Jimmy said wearily, feeling himself that it was perfectly obvious what he was doing.

"Who says I'll let you kiss me?" Ivy asked him mischievously.

"You've been saying it, for a long time." Jimmy said surely of himself.

"I have not!" Ivy squealed as she hit the footman half- heartedly on his firm chest.

"You've been thinking it." Jimmy moved steadily towards her.

"Jimmy Kent you're very sure of yourself."

"I'm just a man who knows what he wants." Inside his conscience laughed at him, "So you going to kiss me?" He turned his attention from his discomfort, adamant that he would have the last laugh.

"I might do. If you behave. Though I don't think there's much chance of that." She surveyed the footman who was stood waiting for her give in to him.

"You know me well Miss Stuart." Jimmy flashed a smile, parting those lips which Ivy could not hold out from.

"Oh all right then. Close your eyes."

"I was going to."

"Am I that ugly?" She shrank back in offence.

'Ruddy women', Jimmy thought. "No. I just normally close my eyes." He told her, not seeing why she was making such a fuss over a little kiss.

"You do this often then?"

"I wouldn't say 'often'." Jimmy shrugged. His last kiss had been from Thomas, and his eyes were definitely closed then, and before that he could scarcely remember how long it had been.

"What would you say?" Ivy folded her arms, wanting to know just what number she was, on the string of Jimmy's girls.

"Enough. Now are you going to kiss me or not?" Jimmy's impatience got the better of him, thinking he'd rather just go home if she was going to keep questioning him about something so silly.

"Go on then. Close your eyes."

Jimmy did as he was told and waited to receive Ivy's kiss. He felt a sweet pressure upon his lips to which he responded with a simple pucker of his lips before it vanished into nothing. He opened his eyes to see his girl standing close to him, biting her lip nervously, "Your lips are soft." She told him; not wanting to seem overeager, she waited in hope that this time Jimmy would kiss her. Yet the footman was busy contemplating; he thought hard, looking over Ivy's head and furrowing his eyebrows. No. He had to be sure. Licking his lips he placed his hands on her slight waist and pulled her closer to him to kiss her with chaste lips, but with as much feeling as he could. He felt the girl moving her mouth, hoping to receive more of his kiss, but he frantically pulled away.

"Jimmy?" The girl worriedly said his name, "What is it? I have done something wrong?"

He shook his head, holding out his arm to keep the space between them, he lifted his head to her in an epiphany. He stared at the young girl, looking so frightened; he felt guilt and sickness at what he had done. "No. You've done nothing wrong. I have. I'm sorry I have to go." Jimmy stormed past her with severe purpose, Ivy calling after him.

"But Jimmy-"

The footman turned back to face her and with sorrow in his eyes he repented, "I'm sorry Ivy. I can't… I just can't."

"Jimmy! Jimmy!" Ivy screamed at the figure running away from her back towards Downton Abbey.

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**Am I terribly cruel for not revealing Thomas' response to the Duke in this chapter? :P**


	14. So Close, Yet So Far

**Thank you so much for reading. I will compensate for the cruelty I freely acknowledged at the end of the last chapter, in this one. Please enjoy. **

**Apologies for any spelling/ grammar mistakes.**

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"Jimmy? What are you doing in here? Why are you out of breath?"

Thomas was changing for bed when the young footman burst in through his door in frenzy, cheeks red from having run about two miles after leaving Ivy in the lurch, something he probably shouldn't have done, but he didn't feel he had any choice. His concern was getting away from the kitchen maid, who he hoped had taken the hint that he wanted to be no part of a relationship with her, and he could not wait to see Thomas.

"I've been running." Jimmy panted.

"Running? Where from? I thought you were out with Ivy?" Thomas came over to Jimmy and guided him to a chair but the footman was too agitated to sit.

"No. Well I _was_."

"And you ran off?" The only explanation Thomas could figure from the evidence presented to him.

"Yes." Jimmy nodded, pangs of guilt hitting him now he heard Thomas say it.

"That bad?" Thomas assumed.

"No. It's just that… We kissed."

"Oh, _that_ bad then." Kissing a girl not considered to be a pleasant experience for Thomas.

Jimmy struggled to describe it exactly. "No, it wasn't bad-"

"Then why run off?"

"It made me realise something."

"And what was that?" Thomas asked in intrigue, having no idea what the footman had run up here to tell him.

"That I'm not supposed to be with her." His panting subsided in the depth of his words.

"Finally figured that out then." Thomas quipped, Jimmy's depth not as clearly conveyed as he had hoped. "So the first thing you do is run up here and tell me?" Thomas continued, unsure whether to be flattered or confused.

"Apparently."

"At least now Alfred will stop moaning. He can have her to himself."

"I suppose." Jimmy removed his hat and crushed it between his fingers in anxiety, swallowing, he checked his hair had kept its rigid form, suddenly doubting whether he should be in Thomas' room at all.

"Is that how you always react?"

"What?"

"Running off when you get kissed." Thomas smiled, wondering what he would have preferred had that been true during his stolen moment; getting thrown out or being run away from.

"No. It was because… I haven't been kissed for a while to tell the truth, and before this I never ran off. Something happened though which has… changed things." Jimmy looked into his hat, imagining if he would turn invisible if he placed it on his head.

"What was that?"

"You." Jimmy said softly.

"Me?" Thomas looked astounded.

Jimmy's eyes remained to be as soft as his voice. "Yes."

"What have I done?" Thomas bore an expression of offence, but he could not hold it under the stillness of the youth stood before him.

"What do you think?" Jimmy blinked obviously.

"I hope you're not going to say I permanently damaged you and now you can never have another relationship?" Thomas emphasized the foolishness of the statement, should it be the case.

"No." Jimmy sat on Thomas' bed with his back to the under butler, not wanting him to see his legs weakening, nor for Thomas to look at him when he said what he was about to, "When you kissed me, I never thought about how it actually felt or what it could mean for me, I only saw it in terms of what it meant for everyone else. That's why I've been so distant, so wrapped up in how wrong it was, because the kiss… it was wrong."

"I know, and I'd appreciate it if you stop reminding me." Thomas ground his teeth in regret.

"I'm just trying to get me thoughts out." Jimmy apologised, pulling his hands down his face, stretching the tense skin until they stopped upon his mouth and came together to form a praying gesture.

"Well don't hurt yourself." Thomas joked, hoping to raise a smile, not liking to see his friend so torn up, but to no avail. So Thomas folded his arms in genuine concern for the youth. "What are you trying to say Jimmy?" Jimmy was still trying to compose his answer, but Thomas was less patient than would have been desired, "Come on, you've come up here to say something so have out with it."

"It's just…" Jimmy lowered his hands away onto his lap, "When I kissed her I knew it wasn't right. I knew it would never be right again, with her or anyone else."

"And that's my fault?" Thomas widened his eyes in failure to see what he had done.

"Yes."

"Why?" Thomas gasped. Jimmy sat still and so quiet, for all Thomas knew he could have fallen into a trance, "Jimmy?"

"Because no one else will be you." Jimmy spoke to the wall ahead of him. He wasn't certain if it was his own lips that said it. But he heard it and he knew he could say it. So when Thomas made him repeat himself he stood up and turned to the under butler, saying with greater strength and, more importantly, greater belief. "No one else will be you."

Thomas leaned back against the wall to stop himself falling over. Could this be possible? "I… I don't-"

"-Ask me again."

"Jimmy I have to-" Thomas began unsteadily.

"Ask me again. That question you asked me when we argued the other evening. Ask me. Please, before I lose me nerve." Jimmy forced out in a single breath otherwise he might choke on the words.

"I don't think-" Thomas couldn't remember the question Jimmy was referring to, unless it was…

"Please Thomas!" Jimmy implored him.

"I can't remember the question." It couldn't be…

"Yes you do. Ask it."

"Do you- "

"That's it." Jimmy nodded eagerly, knowing that Thomas remembered; it was too vital for him not to remember; a question that Jimmy believed would change their lives.

"Do you have feelings for me?" Thomas asked hesitantly, almost not wanting to say it, still believing it couldn't be right. That Jimmy would throw him out again for just asking it, even if it was his own room he was being thrown out of. He clung to the wall in anticipation of it happening.

"Yes." Jimmy said with all the will in the world. "I can't explain it. I'm not really sure I understand it. But I know. I do Thomas. I can't believe it's taken me so long to see it." Jimmy blurted out, feeling unwelcome tears forming in his eyes, obscuring his view of the gorgeous man who stood before him.

"Are you sure?" Thomas asked in disbelief. The youth only gave him a simple, yet feeling, smile in response. "You don't know what that means to me." Thomas breathed. He couldn't believe this was happening to him. It was all he had wanted for over a year, that had kept him awake at night, just to hear those words from the footman's lips, and it was as a knife into his chest to have to take it away himself, "But I can't." Thomas rasped.

The look on Jimmy's face broke Thomas' heart in two, remembering how he felt when their roles were reversed all that time ago. "What? What do you mean?"

"The Duke offered me a job as butler in his household… and I've accepted."

"What? Why?" Jimmy couldn't understand; this isn't how things were supposed to happen.

"Because I'm trying to move on. I thought you had done the same. Michael has-"

"Michael." Jimmy breathed helplessly at Thomas' use of the Duke's given name, like a weight were crushing his chest.

"He's changed, he cares about me and this time he's serious." Thomas almost wished that what he was saying was not true.

"So you're leaving?" Jimmy was fit to burst into tears, putting his hand over his mouth to stop himself.

Thomas closed his eyes when he said that ill- fated 'yes', not wanting to see the reaction of the young footman.

"Because of me? Because if you are you can just go to him and tell him you've changed your mind." Jimmy begged that it was not too late for that.

"It's not that simple anymore." Thomas told him, hating himself for creating this situation where he had to say these things.

"Why not?"

"Do you know how hard it is to be like me? To live a forbidden life? The Duke is offering me a position where I will be safe to live as I want to, no more hiding, where I won't have to be alone again." Thomas vented all the frustration he had felt his whole life, what it was he now needed, a picture that could not include Jimmy.

"How do you know he won't hurt you, like he did last time?"

"He's changed." Thomas shrugged, hoping his friend would trust him enough in that.

"So have I." Jimmy came towards him, closer so Thomas might be able to see just how much.

"In the last two seconds! Tomorrow you could be back to being 'Jimmy the ladies' man'."

"I won't be." Whether it was true or not didn't matter right then, but Jimmy believed it.

"How do you know?"

Jimmy said the first thing he could think of, what it was that first brought his attention to any possibility of him feeling more than friendship with Thomas, the thing that made him doubt himself, "Because Victoria was right!"

"What?" The image of the outspoken maid flushed his mind and Thomas wondered what she had been saying to the footman to transform him into this shrivelling mess he saw before him.

"I heard what Victoria said to you about us, that day I left my gloves in the servants' hall. I came in to get them but I heard her talking about us so I waited outside and listened."

Thomas recalled the damaging conversation, "How much did you hear?"

"I heard her say why we should be together; that what we had was natural and beautiful… and she was right." Jimmy gave Thomas a pleading look, hoping he would say that he thought the same.

"So instead of coming to me you ask Ivy out?" The anger brewing in Thomas' chest.

"I was confused!" Jimmy clutched his head in anguish.

"You always are." Thomas scorned him.

"I'm not anymore. She was right. She _is_ right. There is something between us that I can't ignore anymore."

"See you would convince me if you had said one thing different." Thomas said calmly.

"What? Because I'll say it." Jimmy pledged in his desperation to fling himself into Thomas' arms and kiss those lips which taunted him by moving with every breath which passed between them.

"If you can't figure that out for yourself, then we're done."

"Tell me, please."

"I can't." Thomas wanted to put the footman out of his misery, but he could not force words into Jimmy's mouth at the cost of Thomas giving up a safe and secure future, but he was willing to give Jimmy the reason why he couldn't stay for him, or he would regret it himself, "Deep inside I still think you're afraid. I can't be with someone who is afraid to be with me."

"I'm here aren't I?" Jimmy reasoned.

"But will you be tomorrow?"

"I'd like to think I would be." Jimmy said uncertainly, as yesterday he would have never thought he would be here today, so who knew where he would be tomorrow.

"So would I. But you've hurt me twice Jimmy, I don't think I could survive if there was a third time." A single tear trickled down Thomas' cheek which Jimmy wanted to go and kiss away from his eyes; he could never imagine himself hurting Thomas again, as it seemed to go against nature herself.

"I wouldn't do that to you."

"I can't be sure. That's all there is to it."

"Do you love him?" Jimmy's heart burned with a hope that just maybe the under butler had not yet fallen for his now rival.

"I did once, I think I can again."

"But you don't love him?"

"All I know is I have felt more loved in the last few days than I have in the last eight years."

"Do you want to go with him?"

"I have to." This was more certain now than before Jimmy came into his room, as he could not live with the footman, knowing his feelings, and never being able to act on it no matter how much he wanted to.

"Do you _want_ to?"

Thomas did not know how to answer; an hour ago he would have said yes, but now he had to look into the eyes of the heart broken young man who he was leaving, it buried his conviction.

"JIMMY!" A muffled voice could be heard outside the room.

"Bastard!" Was the sentiment of Jimmy's reaction on hearing the insufferable second footman calling for him. Of all the moments he could have stuck his nose in, this was no doubt the worst.

"You best see what he wants before he wakes the whole house." Thomas advised, glad that would have time at least to think about his answer to Jimmy's question.

"I don't care what he wants he's still getting a punch in the neck."

Thomas did not stay Jimmy's fury as he exited the room, but flopped down on the bed, burying his head in his hands at the terrific revelation bestowed to him by the boy who once captured his heart.

* * *

"Alfred what do you think you're doing? You're going to wake up the entire house!" Jimmy whispered in frustration through gritted teeth as he came upon the second footman wandering about the corridor like a lost puppy.

"Did you know that Ivy is in the servant's hall, crying, because of you?"

Jimmy did not put it past the footman to have stayed up to wait for them so he could spy on their date, and take any opportunity to foil any success it may have had, "What do you want me to do about it?"

"Go apologise to her."

"Why? I already did." Jimmy kept one hand on Thomas' door handle; such was his urgency to return to him.

"Not enough, she told me you kissed her then ditched her." Alfred gave Jimmy a disapproving look, not without envy that Jimmy managed to steal a kiss from the girl he had been trying to win over since the day she walked through the door.

"I made it perfectly clear that _she_ kissed _me_ and I- well I guess I did ditch her, but I said I was sorry." In deference to his ill behaviour towards Ivy, Jimmy spared Alfred's cause some patience, and to preserve his name, because he did not kiss Ivy. At least not the first time; which was the time that mattered.

"What were you doing in Mr Barrow's room?" Alfred's slow turning mind had caught up to the moment they were in, and noticed they were outside Mr Barrow's room, the door which he saw Jimmy come out of.

"What?"

"You were in Mr Barrow's room." Alfred nodded towards the door.

Jimmy took his hand innocently from the door knob and made his denial. "I was not."

"Yes you were."

"Oh that's right." Jimmy confessed blithely, not bothering to argue with him.

"What were you doing in there?" All matter of dark thoughts penetrated Alfred's mind.

"It's none of your business." Jimmy losing patience with the second footman, he started to wish Thomas would emerge from his room and intervene like before, using the strict voice which curled Jimmy's toes.

"Oh right of course, he's your friend now in't he?"

"Yes. You know that."

"How can you be friends with him? I couldn't do it if he… did that to me." Alfred shuddered at the thought.

"Well he didn't did he?! And I don't know why he'd want to." Jimmy looked over the second footman.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Just that no matter what Mr Barrow is, you're still not good enough for him." Jimmy folded his arms, planning for Alfred to take his leave if he insulted him enough.

"I… I bet I could have him if I wanted him."

It was the sincerity, and even hint of pride, in Alfred's claim that made Jimmy stand aghast, almost in hilarity. The only laughter, however, came stifled as it echoed through the under butler's door, and both footmen swivelled towards it on hearing it. Could Thomas have heard this outrageous comment? That would certainly have been his response to it. 'Thomas is smooth, dark and gorgeous; you're a clumsy, orange beanpole', Jimmy's thoughts agreed with the source of the laugh, 'no one in their right mind would have you over him'. "Can you hear what you're saying?" Jimmy said to the ridiculous footman.

"Er..."

"Alfred I think it's time we both moved on from what happened. If I can, you should be able to as well."

"I don't think I can. Not with what he is." Alfred said unreasonably. Was there anything positive about this guy?

"Then it's your loss."

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were like him."

Finally they arrived at the truth, and Jimmy was prepared to unleash hell. "I'm not the one saying I could have him if I wanted him. How do I know _you're _not like him, that you're just avoiding him because maybe you're jealous he didn't want you, or that he brings out that secret side of you?"

"Shut up! You know that's not true!" Alfred shrivelled back like the worm that he is.

"Is it? Really?"

"Yes! I like women!" Alfred shrieked as best as his grumpy montonous voice would allow.

Jimmy hid his enjoyment of Alfred's terror, "Then why are you still here bothering me when you could be down in the servant's hall giving Ivy a shoulder to cry on? This is probably the best chance you'll get with her, while she's vulnerable, and you're up here talking to me about Mr Barrow's love life!"

"You think I have a chance?"

Jimmy had him, now to get rid of him. "Yes, just go to her."

"But she still likes you." Alfred's shoulders slumped.

Jimmy was really not in mood to give relationship advice now. "I think I've made it clear that I don't feel the same way."

"It's not clear to her."

"Well make me out to be a complete and utter bastard, that I treated her rubbish, that she didn't deserve that and she's too good for me. She'll be putty in your hands."

"How do I know that you won't try and bring her round?"

Jimmy breathed in deeply through his nose, it took all his reserve to not scream at him and deliver that punch in the neck he threatened Thomas about. "I'll back off. I'll back off from her completely. You can have her all to yourself from now on. I promise."

"Really?" Alfred beamed; thankfully for Jimmy he did not look as repulsive as when he was miserable.

"Yes." Jimmy could sacrifice his flirtations; it's not as if he would have much use of them now.

"You'd do that?"

"Yes if you just go." Not caring anymore about anything except getting back in that room. He would even give Alfred his position as first footman.

"Thanks Jimmy."

"No problem Alfred." Jimmy sighed. When Alfred was out of sight Jimmy touched Thomas' door handle, composing himself to go back in, not entirely sure what he needed to say to Thomas, but he had to convince him not to leave.

"JAMES?" A voice erupted down the passageway.

"Mr Caaaarson." James sang the butler's name to stop himself swearing.

"What in God's name are you doing?" The robed man charged towards him with a face of thunder.

"I've just got in with Ivy Mr Carson, and I ran into Alfred." Jimmy stuttered, hoping Mr Carson didn't ask him about why he was stood by Mr Barrow's door.

"Well now he's gone I suggest you get to bed."

"Yes Mr Carson." Jimmy resigned himself to the fact that he was not going to talk to Thomas tonight, and dropped his shoulders. "Sorry Mr Carson." The butler retreated down the corridor, giving Jimmy a wary look and returned to his room. Jimmy stared at Thomas' door; his fingers nostalgically lingered on the wood before moving away, hoping Thomas knew that his absence was not of his own doing.

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**Thank you all for reading. I hope I haven't destroyed anyone's souls :P If so, I'm very sorry. **


	15. Persuasion

**Wow, all the follows, thank you so much. I'm very grateful for the time you all take to read this.**

**Apologies for any spelling/ grammar mistakes.**

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Thomas couldn't sleep that night; his mind would not allow for it, nor the overbearing beating of his heart. He thumped at his chest to make it stop troubling him but it only replied more harshly. He'd never been in a predicament like this before; where two men were pulling him in different directions, and he was glad for that, it was a terrible thing. He pictured Jimmy's face the moment he told him he was leaving with the Duke, he wondered if that's what his face looked like when Jimmy rejected him. His voice allowed him to laugh; it was a trick, a wicked joke, and if it were played one week sooner then none of this would have happened, Thomas wouldn't have gone anywhere. But of course it did happen, and Jimmy asked Thomas if he _wanted_ to go; how could he have not answered him? Maybe it was those embers returning to torture him. He knew that going with the Duke meant security, he would feel safe and with it he would be content; but staying, if Jimmy were true to what he said, would be a risk, a beautiful risk, but a risk all the same. Thomas had risked enough in his life and had been hurt too many times, the decision had been made and it was better not to change it now when departure was so close. In time away from Jimmy those embers would die again and perhaps his heart would allow him to forget. He was leaving in a day, and to almost solidfy his decision Thomas busied himself with packing, think he wouldn't have time otherwise. After more than eleven years at Downton he thought he might have accrued more assets, but found that his belongings only took up a couple of small suitcases. With a sigh he looked about his room and sighed nostalgically. There was only one thing for him to do now before breakfast.

* * *

"Mr Barrow?"

Victoria came outside to see Mr Barrow, who had of course taken up his usual place by the wall to smoke; that and doing his utmost to avoid Jimmy. Thomas was tempted to go back in when he saw the young maid, thinking her reasons for coming were not as innocent as the face she wore, but he refused to let her ruin this time for him. "Victoria."

"I hear you're leaving to go and work for the Duke." She came and stood beside Mr Barrow, her arms crossed over her to shield herself from the morning bite. "I know you won't believe me, but I'll be sad to see you go. Are you sure you want to?"

She was right, Thomas didn't believe her, "You're here to impart more wisdom aren't you?"

"You could say that." Victoria smiled weakly at her apparent transparency, "He doesn't want you to go you know."

"It's him I need to get away from." Thomas said certainly. They both knew they did not need to say the footman's name.

"In case he hurts you again?"

Thomas should have told her to mind her own business, but maybe this girl's listening ears were just what he needed to find some solace from his doubts. "How do you know he won't?"

"He's miserable, Thomas. Has he told you?" When she came down that morning she had noticed the footman had barely said a word, and was shrouded in an emotional darkness, like there was a permanent cloud over his head, and it only grew darker as word spread among the staff about Thomas' departure the next day.

"Yes." The distraught face of the footman came into his mind.

"Don't you believe him?"

"He's not giving me any reason to stay. He's offering the confused fancy of a boy. The Duke is offering a life time of freedom."

"Does it matter?"

Thomas gave her a hard look, "Of course it matters." The two possibilities seemed distinct to him, and with distinction there was an obvious choice.

"Does it really? If you'll spend every day wondering what kind of happiness you might have had with Jimmy. You and the Duke seem to care for each other, but you gave Jimmy your heart once, and I refuse to think that it does not still lie with him." There were many responses Mr Barrow could have given Victoria, but he didn't say any of them, because none of them would have been the truth. So he put his cigarette to his lips. "I had you pegged as a lot of things Mr Barrow, and I was right about them all, except for one; I never thought you would deny yourself." Thomas thought of a snarky comment he could make, but there was nothing, it even seemed inappropriate, seeing the look of disappointment on Victoria's face as she went back inside, having said what she needed to. In case of her failure she called back to him with a goodbye and good luck, but Mr Barrow was without a word as he took his cigarette from his silent lips with an unsteady hand.

* * *

Jimmy did not know what Thomas wanted him to say, what was that one thing he should have changed? He stayed up all night thinking about it. He so wanted to sneak back to Thomas' room and ask him, but fear of waking the others, and of having his feelings shot down, kept him shackled to his bed. His pillow was tear soaked, but he didn't care, it was better to let it out now than over breakfast, or worse when Thomas would go out the front door into the car with the Duke and down that driveway to be taken from him forever. The thought was agonising, he did not even care the next morning when some of the maids gave him dirty looks, no doubt Ivy had told them what he did to her, and he could see the girl looked as exhausted from tears as he did. When he saw Alfred, who gleefully sidled up to him and said 'Ivy let me hug her last night', Jimmy mumbled a disinterested 'whatever' back at him. He felt like a horrible person for what he did to the kitchen maid, but he only had himself to blame, nevertheless as far as he was concerned there was nothing going on in the world at that moment except for Thomas. Thomas had always been right; he was childish. Thomas was always right about everything, except now about the Duke, but there was nothing Jimmy felt he could do. He spent the day trying to think of something, with the under butler avoiding him at every opportunity, but nothing came to him.

Well, maybe just one thing.

* * *

"Your Grace, may I speak with you?"

All the upstairs had gone to bed soon after dinner, but the Duke remained behind, sitting on the sofa of the library, taking in the warm glow of the fire while he read the newspaper to unwind himself before retiring.

"Of course. Please come in. Do you want to sit down?" The Duke folded the newspaper over and adjusted himself on the sofa so he faced the footman who took a seat opposite him. He had never sat on the library sofa and he couldn't help but think how comfortable it was as he sank into it. Running his hands along his thighs to absorb the sweat which gathered there through his feverish nerves, Jimmy took in the image of the man who he could call his rival; a man who was richer, probably smarter, more mature, and just as good looking as he was, and suddenly felt this was a bad idea. "I take it you're here about Thomas?" The Duke opened the dialogue.

"Yes Your Grace." Jimmy swallowed.

"I think this conversation might go a little easier for us both if you drop the formalities. What is it you want to tell me?"

Jimmy paused to read the Duke's patient expression. "Why did you offer Thomas the job?"

"On the surface; because he's very capable and not as grumpy as my current butler." The Duke's smile arose a feeling of immense hatred from Jimmy.

"Under the surface?" The footman asked.

Here came the Duke's turn to pause. "I care for him. I want to give him a life where he doesn't have to hide, a life I can provide, where he can be with me." The Duke said it so simply Jimmy could understand why Thomas would be so agreeable to him.

"Do you love him?"

"I need him." The Duke responded without so much as a blink, "Do _you_ love him?"

If Jimmy said no then he had lost, but could not say yes, "I don't know."

"Then I'm afraid that's not good enough James. I mean, I take it you're here to convince me to let Thomas stay."

"Yes." Jimmy whispered.

"Then I'm afraid I can't help you. Not as long as I can give him more than what you can. I genuinely believe I can make him happy, especially if he's away from you. I do know about you, he didn't need to tell me. You hurt him very deeply, and if I can protect him from any further suffering on your part then I will." The Duke succeeded in churning Jimmy's guilt as he dug his fingernails into his thighs.

"I've changed."

"Not enough to show me that you can make him happier than I can, that you can keep him safe, that you can love him in the same way I will." Jimmy was overwhelmed by the responsibility the Duke made out that a relationship with Thomas would entail; a list of requirements that maybe he could not fulfil, the realisation brought a sharp breath from his lips. "I can see you care for Thomas, but I want to make a life with him, and this is the best chance he has for someone like us to live an enriched life." Whether the Duke included Jimmy in that 'us' neither man knew, "If you care for him that much you will grant him this, let him be happy, and not make it any harder than it is already for him to leave you."

"What if he changed his mind?"

"I take it you've tried?" Jimmy nodded sadly in recollection of his rejection. "I guess he feels I have more to offer." The Duke shrugged, not without an air of smugness which Jimmy did not notice in his misery.

"I don't know what he wants from me." Jimmy put his head in his hands, for some reason believing that the Duke might be able to tell him.

"I'm afraid I can't help you there." Not that the Duke wanted to help the boy steal his lover from him.

"But you would let him go if I could change his mind?" Jimmy continued to hope.

"You don't want to do that." The entire atmosphere seemed to change somehow with the Duke's suggestion.

"Why not?"

"Because things could turn out to be very bad for you." The Duke said as if he had just made a comment about the weather, but the very casualness of it made Jimmy's heart race.

"Are you threatening me?"

"Take it as you will." The Duke offered. "I'm just advising you to stay away from Thomas."

"Or what?" Jimmy challenged him, denying this devil the satisfaction of intimidating him, but the Duke just grinned at him maniacally; the light of the flames flickering against his face disturbingly.

"I expect you have things to do." The Duke dismissed him, not wanting to add fuel to the flames of this inflammatory discussion, but Jimmy didn't need to be told that a man with as many resources as the Duke would be a dangerous enemy to make.

"Yes, Your Grace." Jimmy said through clenched teeth, brushing himself off as he stood, not impatient to get away from the older man.

"Don't worry, I won't tell Thomas you came to see me. It'll be our little secret." The Duke said sinisterly, as Jimmy went from the library in discomfort, leaving the Duke to wonder if his hold over Thomas was as secure as he thought.


	16. Possession

**Thank you so much for reading and kind words in reviews. I originally wrote this story with two possible endings; one with a nice Duke, one with a nasty Duke. Hopefully I've made the right decision, and if you disagree I hope the eventual ending can change your mind. **

**Apologies for any spelling/ grammar mistakes.**

**Warning for dub-con**

* * *

Jimmy looked everywhere for Thomas, he knew that the Duke would be calling for him soon, that he would be preparing to go to bed and would not want to go there without his lover; but Jimmy could not let that happen. He had to tell Thomas of what the Duke said to him. 'Why would Thomas avoid me when I have something so important to say?' He thought, like he expected Thomas to be psychically connected to him, to bound in from his hiding place and say 'I heard your thoughts crying for me, what's wrong?' If only he did.

Jimmy was strong, he kept his fears buried, but they still remained. The more he thought about what he should say to Thomas, the more ideas came into his head about what could happen as a result. Thomas would tell the Duke to shove his offer where the sun doesn't shine, and he would be where he's supposed to be; with the footman, but at what cost? Jimmy's life? Would the Duke really go that far? That maniacal grin upon his face, aglow with fire, made Jimmy think so. Yet he shouldn't think about such things, it only served to deter him from this path which must be trodden, but it scared him. A little voice echoed inside, told him to keep his mouth shut, and with it his life. The Duke was right after all, Thomas would have a more fulfilled life with him, a free life; something the footman knew Thomas coveted and could never give him himself. However this streak in the Duke, this darkness he managed to camoflage from everyone the past fews days, made Jimmy block his ears to that quieter voice; for what other darknesses are kept within the Duke that he has yet to unleash? Would they be unleashed upon Thomas' head? The Duke did not seem to want to hurt Thomas, but could his expressed need for the under butler over shadow his love? Love, Jimmy recalled, that was curiously not expressed.

* * *

The day passed for Thomas in phases of pain. Victoria's words affected him, and he hated her for it. He hated that she could be right; that he was denying himself. Was he really so afraid that he wasn't willing to take one more chance? When he returned to his room after his conversation with the maid, he saw his suitcases stacked on the floor and thought about unpacking them, even if it meant having to repack them later on, he didn't want to resign himself to going so easily, not when Jimmy still had time to tell him what he needed to hear. It was then he knew he did not truly want to leave, because he hadn't given up on Jimmy. If someone were to crack open his chest he feared they might see the youth's name burned into his heart. He fell back on his bed and buried his head in the sheets, wondering if he could drown in the linen. He was angry. When he saw Jimmy around the house, they tried to pretend as if nothing had happened the night before; and Thomas didn't want to hear Jimmy's words, as they would only bring him more turmoil. Yet the footman's eyes spoke truth untold, a desperate heart break. Thomas was filled with a deprived agony. Then when he dressed the Duke for dinner and was reminded of the romance between them, as the Duke stroked Thomas' hair and whispered how happy he was that they were going to be together, just the two of them alone for the rest of their lives, his soul tore in two.

* * *

Thomas went outside after dinner, keeping his distance from the blonde footman, and waited for the Duke to call him upstairs when he was ready for bed. On receiving such instruction he made his way inside to head up to the Duke's room, but Jimmy, seeing him pass through the corridor towards the stairs dashed over to him and caught his arm. "Don't go to him." He pleaded quietly to Thomas, checking no one else was around. He could not let the under butler go up without informing him of the kind of man he could be about to crawl into bed with, but Thomas phased into fear as he took back his arm and retreated up the stairs. Jimmy fell forward onto the bannister; he would have screamed at or chased the under butler if Mrs Hughes had not come up behind him.

"James, are you all right?"

"No, Mrs Hughes, I'm not." James had not the strength to straighten himself in ceremony for the housekeeper.

"Whatever's the matter?" She rested a hand on his back sympathetically.

"My best friend is leaving Mrs Hughes, to work for a vile man." Jimmy confided in her.

"Vile? Whatever do you mean James?"

Jimmy could not tell her, anything he said would only expose Thomas, and now himself. He'd already said too much. "Nothing Mrs Hughes, I mean nothing." Jimmy said as he headed outside to let the air cool his face. Mrs Hughes followed the suffering footman with her eyes before looking up the stairs to where Thomas' form previously stood, knowing perfectly well that there was something amiss between the two men, and this was something she would not lightly accept.

* * *

"Are you ready to go tomorrow?" The Duke asked Thomas, as he drew his dressing gown over his shoulders and tied it about his waist loosely.

"Indeed I am." Thomas replied, he was almost anxious for the morning to come so it would be over and done with, and he could leave the pain of his doubts behind him.

"It must feel strange leaving. Do you think you'll miss it?"

"Some things." One thing in particular stuck in his mind.

"And young Jimmy?" The Duke asked with an unrevealed purpose.

"Yeah I guess I will." Thomas' voice wobbled, feeling the Duke was in fact reading his mind.

"You seem subdued." The noble commented as Thomas stared across the room seemingly at nothing.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Are you sure you're not having doubts?" The Duke carefully checked the under butler's face for any flicker of such an emotion.

"Why would I be having doubts?" Thomas gulped.

"I don't know; say if young Jimmy told you that he doesn't want you to leave- and maybe that his feelings towards you have changed." The Duke said, faithfully keeping his and Jimmy's secret.

"Well I'm going aren't I? So you don't have to worry." Thomas said, more with impatience than happiness.

"And yet I still do. You told me about how you once felt about him, how much he hurt you, how do I know that now he chooses to return your affection that you don't now doubt you're doing the right thing?"

"How do you know he's returned my affection?" Thomas looked at the Duke with suspicion.

"You shouldn't for a moment think I don't know what goes on in matters which concern me." The Duke said shadily, stepping towards Thomas.

"Why are you saying all this?" Thomas took a step away, his back coming up close to the wall.

"I told you before Thomas, I don't like being with a man who has thoughts of another, I guess I'm a bit possessive that way." As if to assert his claim on the under butler, the Duke seized Thomas' arms forcefully.

"Let go of me!" Thomas exclaimed.

"Kiss me." The Duke demanded without any warming enticement.

"What?"

The Duke did not repeat himself but collided his lips fiercely with Thomas', to conduct that same test from some days ago upon his arrival. Thomas struggled for release, but the Duke was a strong man, strong enough to keep Thomas in his place until he was ready, until he turned away from the under butler who straightened himself out in shock. But suddenly the world spun about him and he felt a burning in his face as he was struck by the Duke's once loving hand. Thomas was thrown back by the sheer force, his shirt then grabbed by the front, his back pushed up against the wall, as the Duke's face came up close enough into Thomas' to feel the spittle of the other as they puffed, one in fear, the other in fury.

"Don't you ever resist me." The Duke's breath was as fire on Thomas' reddened cheek.

"What are you doing?" Thomas cried.

"I'm just preserving your honour Thomas; as a man who does not break his word."

"I don't understand." Thomas babbled.

"Let me spell it out for you. I'll take it nice and slow so you can understand." The Duke's patronising tone accompanied by that lunatic smile aroused such fear in the under butler; the simplicity removed of all sanity. "You told me that we would be together, so I would never have to be alone again, in exchange I offered to save you from your loneliness. But, you want to go back on our arrangement, I think that's terribly ungrateful of you Thomas, but I won't hold it against you, at least not yet. I do however object to being cast out, and replaced." The Duke clearly concluded from his test that the passion he had pain stakingly awoken in the under butler in the last days had now faded back to that unwelcome distance it was before, which was unacceptable. "Do you see where I'm coming from?"

Thomas could not believe his ears, the words they were hearing could not be right. "You aren't being replaced."

The Duke's face dropped dangerously, his voice became grim, "In your mind I am."

"What happened to treasuring what you have?" Thomas tried to awake the dormant side of the Duke, where his humanity lay.

"Well I thought I had _you_ Thomas, but I guess I was wrong, because I don't have you, do I?"

"But what about all the things you said?" Thomas' said helplessly, too afraid to answer the Duke's question, not that there could be an answer objectively given.

"Oh I meant every word, but I don't want to share you Thomas. You told me you wanted to come with me, and now you doubt; you're thinking about leaving me. Because of a boy." The Duke's paranoia was breaking free before Thomas' fear- strained eyes, he was no longer held back by the romance which he once offered Thomas, romance which he now believed had failed him, and would fail him again in attempt to take Thomas back.

"Jimmy has nothing to do with this!" Thomas pushed himself forward at the mention of the footman, but the Duke had him pinned.

"I don't believe you Thomas. Now, I don't want to hurt the boy, but you'll force me to if you displease me. Will you displease me Thomas?" The Duke's eyes holding insanity.

"You wouldn't hurt him."

"I'll hurt anyone who gets in my way, who tries to take away the things that matter to me. I'd hate to have to ruin his pretty face. After all it's a dangerous world we live in, just walking home one day and the worst sorts of things can happen. Do you want to say something Thomas?" The Duke asked as he saw Thomas' mouth moving, trying to find some words, any words to convey his disgust and hatred.

"No." The fatal answer was ripped from his unwilling mouth.

"Good. Get on the bed, and get undressed. Do it." The cold darkness of the Duke's eyes melted through Thomas' and reached into his chest to choke him into compliance.

"Please don't do this Michael." Thomas pleaded, "It doesn't have to be like this, you don't have to be like this." He still wanted to believe the man in the fields who handed him the wild blue bell flower was the same man stood before him, who would let him go unscathed and not subject him to the malice of his jealousy with a weapon more damaging and terrible than any blade.

"But it's not me who's doing it. I didn't want to take things this far, but you're forcing me to do this Thomas. _You_ made me. You need to understand that you can't just leave me… That you are mine." Every mortal word inflicted upon Thomas' soul threatened to cut through his skin and shear his bones. His eyes glazed over, bile rose in his throat, the door knocked in the frame as his body shook helplessly against it. Fear drove Thomas to a living hell as the Duke hissed in repetition of his final order, "Get undressed. Do it."

The Duke motioned Thomas towards the bed, testing the obedience of his lover who, not once opening his eyes, proceeded to remove his clothes.

* * *

Four hours.

Four long agonising hours. Just when Thomas thought the Duke was spent, he returned to break fresh wounds upon him; that burned and broke him with increasing brutality, each wave longer than the last. Tears mingled with sweat and fell onto Thomas' hands, while teeth dug deep into his flesh, words of poison stung his ears and churned his stomach as not an inch of him was left undefiled. The Duke had shown no mercy in reclaiming Thomas for his own, and made Thomas vomit such words in between his supressed howls of surrender from the torture he was coerced to endure. The Duke only stopped when he was satisfied that his stallion, was now broken.


	17. Blood

**Thank you for being wonderful and continuing to read. Sorry the last chapter was slightly shocking, the reviews seemed unanimous in that, especially the kind guest who had to write two reviews because the first was so heavily influenced by shock. Thank you for that though. Thank you for all of your reviews. I cannot help but feel glad that my writing produces the desired affect and hope the sudden development only increased your intrigue.**

**Apologies for any spelling/ grammar mistakes.**

* * *

Still coated in sweat and blood, Thomas was sent away after his ordeal with the Duke, to tread the halls in humiliation of his submission. The pain was intense as the Duke had shown no mercy in dominating the under butler. He didn't think he could make it to his room, he could have collapsed outside Jimmy's door and wept until morning break, but he kept going. He may have given the Duke his body, but he kept some dignity for himself. He was ashamed of his naivety in believing the Duke had changed, at least for the better, and resigned himself to the inevitable consequence of protecting Jimmy, the beautiful, sweet Jimmy; that would have to get used to feeling like this. The Duke had power, he could arrange for someone to hurt Jimmy if he didn't do what he wanted. There was no choice for him; he had to go with the Duke in the morning. If he could be certain of Jimmy's safety he'd put an end to it all, starting with his life, for there was no life for him with the Duke now, no light in the prison he would be entombed in. No, not a prison, an asylum, for where had his mind gone but to ashes? Trapped by the Duke's lunacy, imbedded in that hateful smile, which stretched its hands forcing Thomas' face down into the earth to drink from a pool of servitude. 'What have I done?' was the last waking thought of the under butler as he passed out on his bed, just as a long beam of light widened across the room over his used body before being obscured by a human shadow.

"My God, Thomas! Thomas!" Jimmy cried, running over to Thomas' bed and throwing himself beside the under butler, placing his hands on his back.

Thomas blinked, adjusting his eyes to the sudden appearance of the young footman's overwrought face in his. "Jimmy, what are you doing here?" The under butler straightened himself as best he could and clutched the sheets to the sides of his legs, as if Jimmy could see through the clothes to his injury. Jimmy sat beside him with a hand upon Thomas' arm.

"I waited up to come and speak to you, to make sure you're- My God, what's happened to you… your face." Jimmy gasped, seeing the deep red on Thomas' cheek.

"It's nothing Jimmy, please just go." Thomas swatted Jimmy's caring fingers away and turned his marked cheek away from him.

"He did this, didn't he?"

"No, it was an accident." The tears flowed upon Thomas' cheeks but kept them from Jimmy's eyes as he lied to him.

"I don't believe you." How could he? After the threats the Duke had made to him.

"Well that's your problem." Thomas said curtly, wiping his nose with his sleeve. He had no strength in him to force Jimmy from the room, but to show some semblance of energy he stood from the bed, unknowingly leaving behind him a trail of blood printed onto the bed cover. It contrasted so boldly with the cream sheets that it meshed into Jimmy's vision so he could not ignore it.

"What's that?" The horror of its presence was so offensive that it forced Jimmy from the bed. "Is that blood?"

"Jimmy, please just go." Thomas' eyes awash with a fresh burst of tears, choked back by his need to not fall into Jimmy's arms and tell him how badly he needs him.

"No, not until you tell me what he's done." Jimmy stood resolutely, motioning to hold Thomas but the under butler wouldn't still himself, to better avoid meeting Jimmy's eyes.

"You'll be here a while because he's done nothing." He swayed rhythmically to the chaotic beating of his heart, screaming at him to just tell Jimmy the truth. That final word losing meaning every time the image of Jimmy's corpse came to mind, with the Duke standing over him, holding a knife dripping with blood that had been stabbed with one fatal blow into both his and the young footman's chests.

"Why are you protecting him?"

"I'm not." He affirmed with a sentiment of truth.

"Thomas, please, don't go, you can't. Even if we aren't together and you have moved on, don't let it be with him. Please." Jimmy held Thomas' arms, running his hands up and down his biceps in comfort, relishing that feeling of holding the older man in this way despite the circumstance.

"I can't." Thomas hung his head in helplessness.

"Why not?"

Thomas could feel Jimmy's sadness as he felt the grip loosen on his arms, a grip he needed to support him more than anything, and yet he had to find the strength to pull away, "Because I can't Jimmy!"

"But look at what he's done to you." Jimmy scrutinised the under butler's hunched form; the broken man, his face deformed into an image of pain, blades of hair intruding into his fading eyes.

"He's done nothing."

"Stop lying to me! Don't you dare! Not about this!" Jimmy bellowed, digging his fingernails into his palms to stop himself from grabbing Thomas and wresting him back to reality.

"What do you want from me?" Thomas asked shakily, dying for the release of collapse.

"I want you to be free of him; you can't let him do this to you."

"I have to go with him Jimmy." Thomas leaned an arm against the wall to keep himself upright.

"Why? Why do you have to go? Give me a reason!"

In response Thomas said the only thing he knew would work, the only thing that could save the boy whom he would slay the gods to defend, "Because I love him!"

"You what?" Silence swarmed them with this stark confession, a confession Jimmy did not want to subject his heart to hearing again.

"I love him." Thomas repeated, the pain at saying it the same as that of the boy hearing it.

"I don't believe you." Jimmy shook his head, Thomas' lip quivered under his breath as he thought he would prefer death to this version of it he was living, "Look me in the eyes and tell me you love him. Tell me!"

Thomas stood over the footman, their eyes flooding into each other, a whirlpool of indecipherable raw emotion, Thomas could kiss those tear soaked lips, but he was set on a course to break his heart as it was the only way to save him, "I love him. Now will you please leave."

Jimmy, unable to speak, no words flowing from his lips except Thomas' name and moans of dejection, went morosely from the room. All was lost as the door closed between them, a door that would never open for either of them again. Jimmy walked those cold steps back to his room, his feet not feeling the rough floor beneath them. Getting to his door he could not open it, gripping the frame with one hand, his other on his forehead he breathed deeply through his despair, until it consumed him to cry freely. A creak by his ear brought Jimmy to wipe his eyes as a female form peered from the opening in the forbidden door, which separated the men's quarters from the women's.

"Jimmy, are you all right? What's the matter?" A kindly voice, matched only by the touch accompanying it on his arm, found Jimmy.

"What are you doing here? You'll get into trouble." Jimmy sniffed.

"Never mind that, what's wrong?" Victoria whispered.

"Please Victoria-"

"Jimmy we can do this here and we'll both get in trouble or we can go in your room so I can help you." Victoria opened her eyes; the blue shining from them hypnotically saw Jimmy admit her into his room. The girl pulled a chair up to the bed and sat upon it, Jimmy dropped before her on the mattress, they leaned forward with their knees touching in their need for discretion, "Is it Thomas?" She asked outright, "I know that you have feelings for him, and I'm sorry he's leaving, but is it really as bad as all that?"

"I don't have feelings for him." Jimmy denied fervently.

The young maid, wanting to help the young footman, was set back by his continued unwillingness to face the truth, even in the most dire situation, but it was all the more reason why she had to persist in changing his mind, "Jimmy, I don't care about your preferences, I care about your well- being. Please." Her words were bountiful to his ears; could anyone really exist who felt this way? Let alone the young maid sat before him. Could she be tricking him? But the girl had an affectation upon Jimmy, the same way she had appealed to Thomas some days ago, and created within the footman a weakness to bow to her empathic spirit.

"How I feel doesn't make a difference, he's still going. He says he- he loves him. I don't understand." Jimmy confessed, not minding his ignorance as to whether the girl knew of Thomas' relationship with the Duke, he just spoke that which was on his mind, and it seemed only to be coincidence that she was there to hear it said.

"If he's moved on with the Duke maybe it will be easier for you both if he goes." She said comfortingly, hiding her slight disappointment that the two men she had wanted to be together were not, as for now she would take Jimmy's words as truth that Thomas did love the Duke.

Jimmy brought his fist into his leg in frustration, "You don't understand, the Duke-" Tightening his lips in uncertainty of how to describe what he had seen, without uttering the word 'rape'.

"Jimmy?" Victoria touched his knee to drive him to continue.

"He's hurt him."

"Go on." Victoria bade him, her expression unchanged.

"I went to see Thomas just now and he was passed out on the bed, he'd been to see the Duke and there were blood on his… the back of his trousers, and his face were marked."

"My God. Is he all right? Do we need to call a doctor?"

"I- I don't- He was walking and talking. We must stop him; maybe we should call the police." Jimmy's voice had now grown frantic as he no longer bore any qualms in speaking his mind.

"No! We must not, that would only aid in exposing Thomas." As would calling for a doctor, so if Thomas could wait until the Duke had left the next day (hopefully alone) for medical attention, then he would have to.

"What can we do?"

The wheels turned furiously in Victoria's mind, "Does the Duke know about you? Does he know that you tried to convince Thomas to stay?"

"Yes, because I tried to convince the Duke of the same thing." Jimmy told her.

"What did he say to you?" The intrigue growing with every word Jimmy said.

"He threatened me if I tried to stop Thomas from leaving."

"This was before Thomas went to see the Duke and was… attacked?" Victoria avoided using the term 'rape' as diligently as Jimmy.

"Yes. I tried to tell Thomas what happened, but I never got chance to talk to him." The questions ceased and Jimmy could breath, he watched Victoria, her eyes wore the focus of her mind and threatened to burn a hole into the floor; unchanged until she found her conclusion, there could only be one, and when it was found she realised could not reveal it to Jimmy. The footman's thoughts turned in a different direction to hers as he had a sudden overwhelming urge to put a direct end to Thomas' suffering. "I'm going to kill him." He rose from the bed, Victoria blocked his way to the door with her smaller body and pushed him back with her hands upon his chest.

"Don't be a fool! Getting angry won't help anyone! You will be in jail and Thomas will still be miserable."

"At least he'll be free." Jimmy moved forward to get closer to the door, not losing Victoria from before him as she grabbed his undershirt in protest.

"Think Jimmy. Would you really kill him, risk jail, risk everything like it's the only way?"

"I don't know." He stopped, wondering what he would do if he actually went; break down the Duke's door and suffocate him? A brawl? Challenge him to a duel; pistols at dawn? It all seemed unbelievable. He returned to the sanctuary of his bed, and Victoria sat before him once more. "What can we do?"

She did not answer, only thought; at length she interlocked her fingers and placed her lips to them before standing decisively.

"Go to sleep Jimmy, and leave everything to me." She said, moving the chair back to the wall before touching the footman on the shoulder.

"What will you do?"

"I don't know yet, but I'll think of something, I promise."

"Then let me help." Jimmy beseeched her, not thinking it would be bearable for him to not play any part in helping Thomas.

"No! You cannot, for both yours and Thomas' sake you cannot get involved. Trust me, I will figure this out." She forbade him, fearing that any involvement on his part might incite the Duke to vengeance, whether or not their efforts would succeed.

"But he's leaving in five hours." Jimmy said, glancing at the clock with little hope.

"Then there is still time, but not for mistakes. We must be careful, but remember Jimmy, I am on your side and I will not abandon you or Thomas. Do you understand?" Victoria spoke in a way that pacified the footman; her strength gave him confidence in what she said to him. But surely they must act immediately?

"What if we told Lord Grantham?"

"He wouldn't believe us without evidence or Thomas' testament... and I don't think he would give it." The maid said the last part in thought.

"Why wouldn't he?"

Victoria could not tell him the answer which she knew to be true; that Thomas would not risk Jimmy's life, no matter how much the footman's crying eyes beseeched her to give it. If she could not speak in truth she would not speak at all, except to tell him that everything would work out if he placed his trust in her. But Jimmy thought to the next morning and how it would be impossible for him to see Thomas without saying a single word in objection, or begging him to stay. "How can I stand by and not do anything?" He deigned to ask her.

"But you will, by not doing anything." With that she left Jimmy to spend the night questioning his reasons for choosing to trust her with something so vital; the life of the broken under butler, and whether he should keep his word and stay out of it.


	18. Pursuit

**Thank you all so very much for reading. We're closing in on the end.**

**Apologies for any spelling/ grammar mistakes.**

* * *

Victoria passed what was left of the night in thought. She was fortunate that she was coming back from the bathroom and heard Jimmy's cries through the door, otherwise who knows what might have happened; if the footman took matters into his own hands. Though he had already done so in talking to the Duke himself, but to push him further she would be afraid that he would carry out his threat against Jimmy. She even wondered, sickeningly, if the Duke had purposely sent Thomas back straight after what had happened as a warning to the footman of his power and in boast of his triumph.

The difficulty was how to proceed in such a delicate matter where those involved should not be for their own safety; as there was no doubt in Victoria's mind that Thomas had been given a delivery of threats similarly to that of Jimmy's, which would account for his sudden declaration of love for the Duke. Victoria thought about talking to Thomas, but she knew it was futile, he would not come forward himself no matter what she said to him, not if it meant endangering Jimmy. Even if she acted on his behalf he would not let her. No, all she did Thomas must be kept insensible to. However Victoria knew she had to tell someone, she could not do this alone, even if her plan worked she was just a maid, and a maid cannot do battle with a Duke; but who could she trust? The answer was waiting downstairs the next morning and as soon as she cast her eyes upon the lady she acted without hesitation.

"Mrs Hughes, I need to talk to you." Victoria approached the housekeeper with urgency, catching her just as she was about to go into her office to start her morning.

"I see, and what might this be about?" Mrs Hughes was expecting some trivia, as was usual from the maids, as she fumbled with her keys to unlock her door.

"I need your help Mrs Hughes, to stop something terrible from happening." The serious tone in Victoria's voice caught Mrs Hughes' attention, and without a word ushered the young girl inside to the privacy of her office.

"Tell me then Victoria, what is it that's so terrible?" Mrs Hughes said sceptically, remaining standing, unsure as to whether the girl could be exaggerating her claim.

"I don't quite know how to say it, but I have no time so I must. I believe that the Duke has been abusing Mr Barrow and is taking him from this house against his will."

Mrs Hughes' face dropped, she could make a guess at what the girl meant by 'abuse', but it did not matter, any form was intolerable. That is if she decided to believe the girl, which was difficult with such an inflammatory yet rigorous statement. "Victoria, I hope you have good reason for making such wild accusations against his Lordship's guest."

"Mr Barrow went to dress the Duke for bed last night and when he returned he was hurt." Victoria kept one eye on the clock as she spoke, wary that the time was approaching seven, and the Duke and Thomas were due to leave at half past eight. She didn't care about what was proper or considerate in her speech; she told Jimmy that she would not abandon him and Thomas, and she was running out of time.

"And how do you know this?"

"James told me. He found Mr Barrow passed out in his room after the incident."

"Shouldn't a doctor have been called?"

"The nature of the injury makes that impossible without involving the police."

"I see." Both women dropped their eyes at the reality behind Victoria's words, "Why didn't James say anything, or Mr Barrow himself?"

"I think the Duke has threatened them."

"That's a very dangerous accusation, and I'm afraid your thinking it does not make it true; for all your shrewdness." Mrs Hughes' may have hesitated in believing the maid but she did not doubt her intelligence and the conviction with which she spoke.

"That's why I've come to you Mrs Hughes; I need your help to get the proof."

"What proof would that be?"

"James said Thomas' bottoms were bloodied, no doubt he discarded them, if we can find them it would prove the Duke has been assaulting Thomas, and he cannot take him away." Victoria spoke this phrase more slowly as the implication that the first clause held was terrible, and could see that Mrs Hughes received that feeling in all its severity by her shocked expression. "Please Mrs Hughes, will you help me? Will you help Thomas?" The girl's breathing hastened from the speed of her answers, as well as the anxiety that she may have wasted Thomas' precious time and confided in the wrong person.

Mrs Hughes took a minute, just the minute the maid was willing to grant her, and thought back to find some clue she had missed for herself. She had seen Mr Barrow that morning briefly and remembered seeing a mark upon his face, but aside from that there were no visible signs of injury, but then there wouldn't be. It was then she remembered seeing Jimmy leaning against the bannister the day before, upset that his friend was leaving, but not just that, but because he was leaving with a 'vile' man. She remembered how uneasy she felt at his description of the Duke, and the hurt as he gave it. "I don't know why Victoria, but I will help you, even if it's just to put my mind at rest from such horrors."

Victoria relaxed her body in a moment of relief. "Thank you Mrs Hughes. Thank you. We must be quick, they're leaving in less than ninety minutes." The two ladies went from the room with a hidden purpose, knowing that their failure would seal Thomas' fate. Victoria recounted the entire situation to the housekeeper as they made their way to Thomas' room to begin their search, taking care to omit the true nature of Jimmy's involvement, feeling discomfort in disclosing his recent discovery of his inclination to anyone else without his permission.

* * *

Jimmy was despairing. As soon as Victoria left his room he felt the pangs of waiting, without a word from the maid as to her plan, having to sit there and do nothing, knowing that Thomas was suffering down the corridor, preparing himself for what could be a lifetime of abuse and pain. Jimmy refused to believe that Thomas loved the Duke, he could not. How could he love such a man? How could anyone? But Jimmy could not see a reason as to why Thomas would say it otherwise. He searched for reasons while he was serving upstairs breakfast, in his demeanour the Duke was boasting of his conquering defeat of the under butler, under the eyes of his hosts who were none the wiser. If the Duke saw the hateful look he was being sent by Jimmy's glaring eyes he did not show it, as not a wrinle of remorse tainted his charismatic features. Even Jimmy found he could doubt for a singular moment, that this was in fact just some terrible terrible dream that he had awoken from at just the right time. It was deception playing before him, the great lie that no one would dare think or dream of, which made it so unbearable to spectate. As Jimmy took around the tray of smoked salmon, passing behind the back of the Duke, he felt the urge to strangle him, but how could he? He was powerless, and the Duke knew it, enunciating his omnipotence through Jimmy's servility, he encouraged the meagre footman to carry out menial tasks at his pleasure with a wave of his hand and a question of 'could you fill my glass?' Even if he did not need it to be done. The man had serious control issues, but Jimmy could only say 'of course Your Grace', under the watchful eye of Mr Carson. Victoria was right about one thing, how could he tell Lord Grantham what happened? They were all seduced. Just like Thomas was.

Having been freed from the Duke's presence Jimmy went down for breakfast with a face frozen in a lifelessness that no one dared comment upon, not even O'Brien. There he saw Thomas for the first time that morning, he saw beneath his mask which spoke only of a sadness a man would feel in leaving his home of eleven years. However there was not a shade of happiness of a man starting a fresh new life without the pains and memories of his old one at Downton, none of the hope that Thomas held firmly in his breast that night he told Jimmy he was leaving. He felt sick. Still, he did not know how Thomas could hide his emotions so well, as his torment must be greater than Jimmy's. His concern was heightened as there were two absent persons at breakfast; Victoria, and Mrs Hughes. Jimmy heard Mr Carson say to Anna that Mrs Hughes was giving the new maid some early morning training and they would be detained for a couple of hours. Jimmy did not know what to think; would Victoria have betrayed his confidence? But he found this as doubtful as the idea that she had broken her word and abandoned him. The conclusion from his doubts could not produce any kind of certainty, and it scared him. Then the worst hit him, what if Victoria was tricking him and she had called the police to have him and Thomas taken away? He visibly shook his head at this, prompting Mr Bates to ask if he was all right. What could he say to that?

"He's probably upset that Mr Barrow is leaving us." Mr Molesley said tactlessly.

"That doesn't explain why they haven't said a word to each other for almost two days." Anna observed. Thomas and Jimmy stayed silent; there was nothing either of them could say. "What's happened?" The ladies' maid looked between the pair, not sure which one of them would respond to her, but not even Mr Barrow could give her what she was seeking.

"It'll be good practice at least for when Mr Barrow's gone." Miss O'Brien said smugly at the thought of her nemesis leaving.

"Now now Miss O'Brien, there's no need for any of that when Mr Barrow is leaving within the hour, and I imagine it is difficult for James after the rapport they have had as of late." Mr Carson pacified her.

"You know we're right here?" Jimmy said bitterly to the other servants, not liking that they were talking about him and Thomas as if they weren't even in the room.

"Then why don't you speak instead of making us fill in for you?" Mr Bates said to him.

"No one asked you to fill in. Why don't you just keep your noses out of it?"

Mr Bates raised his hand to Mr Carson, premeditating the reaction of the butler to James' attitude; knowing that the footman was sensitive, and a telling off would only worsen things. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife, and it was focussed around Thomas, whose plate remained as empty as his mind, even when Miss O'Brien, determined to have one final bout with the under butler for old times' sake said, "Pity you're going, you and James were getting on so well. I hope the Duke makes better company for you."

The staff were oblivious to the underlying meaning of her statement, but as Miss O'Brien knew of Thomas' history with the Duke it would not have been hard for her to figure out why his former lover offered him a job, and she was willing to plunge the knife in further regarding his relationship with the footman he was leaving behind. There was no way she could know the rest; of Jimmy's feelings, but she held her words as if she did and produced the same effect. It was with that that Thomas left the room, without a sound. The staff could not make any kind of contribution, feeling like they would be intruding on some inside secret which would bear no relevance for them in the next hour when Thomas had left.

"Why is Mr Barrow leaving today? Shouldn't he wait until a replacement can be found?" Anna asked Mr Carson, hoping to distract from the awkwardness spreading about the room.

"An under butler is not a fundamental position, the house can run without him, so there may not even be a replacement." Mr Carson said, though his tone suggested he would like to continue having an under butler, as the presentation of his dinners had been far superior since Mr Barrow's promotion, "It will be at the discretion of His Lordship if he decides to fill Mr Barrow's place in time, so it makes little difference that he leave now. Also Mr Barrow thought it easier if he left with the Duke." No doubt so Jimmy would not have chance to change his mind.

"I don't mind saying it; it'll be funny without Mr Barrow about." Anna said.

"Yes it will." Mr Bates agreed, "I'm not sure I can go to such lengths as to say I'll miss him. But it's quite amazing really just how much he's changed, if you didn't know him before last summer you might even say he was likeable." He said with pleasant surprise, and it was clear he was not the only one who thought so, as all the servants seemed to take a moment, almost to cherish the memory of the misunderstood under butler, and by the looks on their faces, they were thinking fondly.

That was it; Jimmy's cue, he had to talk to Thomas. Anna making the closing statement as he left; "Jimmy certainly seems to agree with you Mr Bates."

* * *

After this talk of Thomas' departure, and the reminder of just how worthy the under butler had become, Jimmy could not obey the maid's order and keep silent. He scoured the downstairs for the under butler, not finding him there he went outside to see if he had ventured outside for one final smoke before going to get his things to take to the car, for it had gone past eight. Thomas was of course there, but stood over a rusty tin can, the designated spot for discarded items fit for burning, he was staring down at the bottom and attempted to ignite his lighter against a piece of paper he took from his pocket, his cigarette hanging from his lips, but he faltered at the sound of Jimmy's voice.

"Thomas!" The footman hurried up to him.

Thomas was forced to stop what he was doing and take the cigarette from his mouth, "James." He swallowed, drawing a deep line of professionalism between them which he did not want the footman to cross, for both their sakes, but Jimmy wouldn't have it.

"Don't do that. Please. I need to talk to you."

"I don't have time." Thomas took an extensive drag of his cigarette so he may finish it quicker and be away.

"One minute." Jimmy insisted.

"Let me do this." Thomas dropped his cigarette to the floor and made to light a piece of paper to discard in the bin before the footman could see exactly what it was he was trying to decimate.

"What are you doing?" Jimmy peered over the rim of the can, but Thomas took a step forward to impede his view.

"Tying up some loose ends."

"No, now." Jimmy urged him.

Thomas impatiently closed his lighter and moved away from the can and the view of the down stairs windows, to avoid any prying eyes, as he sensed the possibility that Jimmy would say something which could get him in trouble should anyone overhear. "Go on then." Thomas waited.

"I don't want you to go Thomas. I can't imagine being here without you. I'm begging you; don't leave me." Jimmy was baring his soul, and it stopped Thomas' heart to hear him say such things to him and expose himself like this, his vulnerability was such that Thomas would rather suffer what the Duke did to him a thousand times over than to say what came next.

"It's too late."

"It's never too late. Please Thomas. I know you don't love him, you can't." Jimmy reached out as the under butler tried to pass him, in escape of the pain which trapped him by the intrinsic beauty of the footman, but he was stopped by the smallest touch of fingertips pressing into his palm. He knew the footman was looking at him, but he could not look back.

"I have to go Jimmy." Thomas choked, "The Duke's waiting for me. I have to go."

"No, Thomas. I won't let you." Jimmy threw himself in front of the under butler.

"You have no choice, you have to let me go." Thomas ground his teeth to control his features from spiralling out of control into a hideous despair.

"No I don't. Just tell me why you're doing this? Why?"

"I told you last night." Thomas refusing to speak that reason again.

"No, that's not it, there has to be something else."

"Well there isn't." Thomas span, casting his waterlogged eyes anywhere but at the footman.

"There has to be, please. I know part of you wants to be with me, if you stay we can be together, just please don't go. Please." Jimmy's knees weakened in his resolve, he could have collapsed into a pathetic mess and held Thomas' legs, if only it would stop him from leaving.

"You don't understand, we can't!" Thomas cried. "We can't be together!"

"Why not?"

Jimmy's cries became too much, Thomas couldn't lie, he couldn't breathe, there was no way out. "Because he'll kill you!"

Silence.


	19. Beaten

**This was to be the penultimate chapter, but I thought I'd keep you waiting one chapter more. Thank you for your patience, and for reading. **

**Apologies for any spelling/ grammar mistakes.**

* * *

What could be said? The Duke's threat was real, though Thomas saying it seemed so false; that he would sacrifice himself to save Jimmy? How could this have ever come to pass? The footman could see that Thomas regretted what he said immediately, but he sighed having unloaded this dreadful burden from his already heavy mind.

"I don't care if he tries to kill me." Jimmy eventually said. "I'm not scared of him."

"You should be." Thomas advised him through clouded eyes.

Jimmy knew Thomas was right, he did not even have the strength to picture what might have happened in the Duke's bedroom the night before; the torture the under butler was forced to suffer in his name. "I still don't want you to go. You can tell Lord Grantham he threatened me, he won't let you leave then." Jimmy said with hope, but Thomas' ears were shut to it as that recurring image inflicted itself upon him; of Jimmy's lifeless body, drowned in blood.

"Stop." Thomas breathed. "I can't. I must go. I have to, if you care anything for me at all, you will let me go."

"It's because I care that I can't!"

"I will go." Thomas told him, to shake Jimmy from his determination which would only bring him torment, "If not today I will go tomorrow, I will leave here because I have to be with him."

"But he will-"

"Whatever he does it will be worth it, and I can cope with it." Thomas could have sworn he felt his lips splitting from the sharpness of the lies he was forced to pass between them.

"Like you're coping now?" The under butler breathed in beginning of an answer that would not spew from his polluted lips, "Like you're coping now?" Jimmy repeated.

"No matter what you say it won't change the fact that he will kill you." Thomas' gut wrenched.

"Then maybe I should stop talking."

Jimmy turned and went inside resolutely before Thomas could stop him. The under butler stayed for a moment, wondering what exactly the footman was going to do, but fearing whatever that was he followed him, though his pace was slow owing to his injury. On his way he took the paper from his pocket and lit it as he hobbled, tears trickling down his stoney face, and without so much as a glance dropped it in the rusty tin can without stopping, whatever secrets lay in there being engorged by the flames.

* * *

The senior servants were due to make their way outside in ceremony for the Duke's and Thomas' departure. Victoria and Mrs Hughes only hoped they would be in time as they ran as fast as they could; hitching their skirts in a rare haste, and caught Mr Carson in his office just before he was leaving. Abandoning all sense of propriety they stopped the butler in his tracks.

"Mr Carson!" Mrs Hughes called to him.

"Mrs Hughes?" Mr Carson's eyebrows furrowed in alarm at the sight of the housekeeper and maid running so casually through the corridors.

"Mr Carson we must speak with you." Victoria justified their actions on Mrs Hughes' behalf as the older woman tried to catch her breath.

"Can't it wait until the Duke has gone?"

"No!" The two ladies cried in unison, earning a look of displeasure from the butler.

Mrs Hughes cleared her throat and stepped forward in defence of Victoria, as out of them both the maid was most likely to be reprimanded for speaking out of turn, and said as calmly as she could under the circumstances, "I'm sorry Mr Carson, but it can't."

* * *

Jimmy ran inside, searching for his target, he knew where he should be. Coming into the entrance hall of the main house he looked about, he was drawn by voices and there he saw them. His Lord and Ladyship accompanied by Mr Branson, the young ladies and, most significantly, the Duke. Jimmy broke into a mad sprint and launched himself upon the noble before anyone could stop him. The yelp of surprise from the Duke was suppressed by the squeals of the ladies and the objections of Lord Grantham. The Duke was thrown into the wall by the younger man who had a firm grip upon him, stopping any struggle or retaliation by throwing his fist into the side of the older man's face, splitting the corner of his mouth, drawing a thin line of blood. Before more damage could be done Jimmy felt a pair of arms grabbing him from behind, and he was pulled away kicking and screaming. The Duke calmly wiped the blood from his mouth, waving away the ladies who gathered around him to make sure he was all right, while Mr Branson, who had stopped Jimmy from harming the Duke further, removed the footman to the other side of the room, and His Lordship demanded an explanation.

"What in god's name are you doing?!" He bellowed at Jimmy.

"Do you know what he's done?" Jimmy pointed to the Duke, who was now standing and sauntered over, straightening his suit, head held high in all innocence of this unjustified attack; his expression that between controlled rage and a smirk, as he could now ensure the footman's dismissal by his foolish action without having to lift a finger.

"No, but whatever it is I'm sure it does not warrant being attacked in my home!" Lord Grantham said.

"He assaulted Mr Barrow!" Jimmy exclaimed. All present looked at the Duke, who raised an eyebrow to refute the claim as nonsensical, judging by the looks on the faces of his hosts they did not believe the young footman. The Duke not having to say a word to defend himself.

"Do you have any proof to support this outrageous accusation?" Lord Grantham steadily asked the footman before giving his already decided verdict.

The Duke struggled to contain his glee at the footman's swift approaching downfall, as Jimmy shuffled anxiously, not taking his eyes from the Duke, envisioning his fingers about his neck and squeezing the life from that well-kept body. Jimmy could have sworn a glint arose in his eyes when he had to say that he had no proof. The Duke removed his confident air and transformed it into that of a victim as he took centre stage; "Robert, I know your staff are your affair but I seriously hope that you dismiss this young man. He is dangerous, and such a character is not suitable for your reputable household." His close proximity to Jimmy saw the footman curl his fist to such tightness that his entire arm shook. Mr Branson saw it and took a step forward to intercept should Jimmy make a second attack on the Duke.

"You can be sure of it Michael," He gave Jimmy a look of disdain, that the footman had brought such dishonour to his household.

"Anyway I should be going or I'll miss my train."

"Of course my dear fellow. I'm so sorry." Robert turned away and put his hand on the Duke's shoulder in symbolic support.

"No apology necessary, I won't sue you if that's what you're worried about." The Duke chortled, as smoothly as ever.

Jimmy didn't know what to do, that is until he saw Thomas had finally caught up with him and had entered the entrance hall.

"Thomas! Thomas! Tell his Lordship the truth." Jimmy cried to him.

At the sound of the under butler's name all stopped in their tracks and gave Mr Barrow their attention, diverting them away from any visible signs of the Duke's worry that Thomas might do something foolish. Thomas did not expect so many people to be in attendance, and wondered what exactly it was that he had walked into. His eyes flitted about the numerous faces in the room, his heart beat grew louder in his chest all of a sudden, drowning out his thoughts. Thomas kept his composure as Lord Grantham said to him, in his responsiblity to his staff and their safety, "Mr Barrow, James here is alleging that the Duke made some kind of attack on you. I suppose we should hear it from your lips as to whether it is true. Is it true?"

Thomas glanced at Jimmy, mouth widened to let his breath escape more urgently. He cursed himself for coming after Jimmy and putting himself in this situation. He then looked at the Duke, who stared straight back at him. Thomas could feel the Duke's words in his mind, as though in taking possession of his body he also took control of his mind and in there put those terrible words which were as lashes upon Thomas' body, as he was forced to relive the circumstances under which they were spoken; 'I don't want to hurt the boy, but you'll force me to if you displease me. Will you displease me Thomas?... I'd hate to have to ruin his pretty face... You are mine Thomas. You are mine.' He gasped slightly as he recalled the first fatal infliction upon his naked body the night before, followed by all the times after, experiencing them afresh before the crowd before him. He crushed his teeth together and drew deep breaths to stop himself from giving way to the pain.

"Barrow?" Lord Grantham said, concerned that it had been about a minute and Thomas had not yet replied to his question, the nature of which he believed should have entailed an immediate answer.

"No M'Lord. It's not true." Thomas put his hand across his mouth and wiped his lips, checking to see if his lies had finally drawn blood from them.

"There we are then. That's settled." The Duke's satisfied voice resounded, "I'm sorry Robert, I really must go, the train won't wait. Come along Mr Barrow! You can sit by me in the car." He said, revelling in his self given glory, and rewarding the obedience of the underbutler by allowing him to ride with him, giving Jimmy a victorious glance as he said Thomas' name.

It was only the presence of so many which kept Thomas and Jimmy from bursting forth in unrestrained tears as everyone walked away from the footman, including Thomas, who could not even utter a goodbye, which would only strengthen the reality of what he was doing; that he was leaving the footman and immersing himself in a world of solitude and torture. A reality he needed no further reminder of, and sparing himself from the pain of farewell was his only true reward for his sacrifice.

"But you can't, please! Thomas! Tell them the truth! Thomas!" Jimmy begged him, trying to remove himself from Mr Branson's arms which held him back firmly, but Thomas was deaf to his cries of anguish, cries which he echoed in his own soul.

"James, don't make this any worse for yourself." Mr Branson pushed the footman back, warding him away as the party stopped in the doorway to the house, Thomas' figure passing through them to wait by the car, all forgetting the footman's plight. Mr Branson told the youth to return downstairs and wait until he was called for. A curtain of tears screened Jimmy's eyes, through which he saw the shape of the defeated underbutler pass out of the Abbey, without so much as looking back. Jimmy dragged himself away, not bearing to watch, as his agony was only made worse in the underbutler's sacrifice; for it was this selflessness which made Jimmy believe that this was the man with whom he could fall in love with, and there would never be another, for it was here proven that they would each risk their lives to save the other.

He could not say it, his tears confirmed it, as truly as he knew it in his heart, which was crumbling into pieces in the blaze of the Duke's wrath; he had been beaten.

* * *

**Are my attempts at suspense borderlining on cruelty? :P**


	20. Goodbye

**Here is the penultimate chapter. Sorry for dragging it out, please forigve me. I just love suspense! Thank you all for reading, I hope what follows is reward enough for your patience.**

**Apologies for any spelling/ grammar mistakes.**

* * *

Jimmy disappeared from sight, an empty shell leaving hollow footsteps, for he had lost the two things which were most important to him in the last minutes; his job, and Thomas. He retreated downstairs to await his fate, but it was already sealed when Thomas stepped out of those doors. His mind was aflame with images of Thomas in the Duke's household. If Jimmy had to leave Downton then he would track the Duke down and somehow take Thomas away. They could go away together, start afresh. Even if they were both on the streets, in a worst case scenario, at least they would not be alone. Jimmy was determined that no matter what happened he would not let the Duke do this. He could not. He could not live with himself, as it was for his sake that all of this had happened. Maybe he shouldn't have run from Ivy that night? Maybe he shouldn't have gone to see Thomas and kept his stupid thoughts and feelings to himself? It would have hurt, but no more than what Thomas had gone through, and what he will go through now because of it. Jimmy felt as a fool, he hated himself. He sat outside on the gravel; dust collecting on his clean trousers, but he didn't care, it was where Thomas had stood everyday. Jimmy could still feel his presence there standing beside him, the smell of cigarette smoke streaming up his nostrils, his weak fingers clasped the rough edges of the wall, and burying his head into his arm, he wept.

* * *

Just as Jimmy left the entrance hall Mr Carson came up, followed briskly by Mrs Hughes and Victoria. The hurried sound of footsteps on the wood turned Lord Grantham's head, seeing the servants looking so flustered he broke from his family and guest, who continued on outside, to find out what was so important that his servants were detained from bidding a farewell, which was custom to all valued guests, to the Duke.

"M'Lord." Mr Carson stood to attention as Lord Grantham approached the three servants.

"You are supposed to be outside for the Duke's departure. What is going on?" He asked, seeing something was awry as he scanned the excitable plum coloured faces of his employees.

"Something you desperately need to know."

* * *

The required persons were waiting outside for Lord Grantham and Mr Carson to make an appearance; no one knew what was going on, but the servants could see that the Duke was growing restless through fear he would miss his train, especially after what had just occurred. Thomas was staring at his shoes and rubbing his fingers together anxiously, wondering if he had done the right thing; maybe he should have told the truth as Jimmy said. It was too late now. It was done. Jimmy would likely lose his job, but it was better than being dead, and he still had a reference from his former employer so he'll get by. He had to think this way, that his sacrifice was not in vain, for his heart weighed too heavily in his chest to take on anymore guilt. In a way he was glad Jimmy was not there, as it would be easier for him to leave this way, to leave the youth behind.

Crucial footsteps on stone saw the relief of the Duke as Lord Grantham came down the steps onto the gravel.

"Barrow, get back inside." His stern voice resounded; intense anger flushing his cheeks with a redness.

"M'Lord?" Thomas questioned his Lordship's bizarre outburst.

"Go inside, now." Lord Grantham ordered him.

"Barrow stop," Thomas halted at the Duke's will. "Robert? What is this?" The Duke asked innocently.

"How dare you sir? James was right, what he said about you, and you dared to deny it and by god demanded his dismissal!" His Lordship bellowed. Everyone in earshot stood aghast, though not all knew what was going on.

"That is an outrageous accusation!" The Duke now saw the need to defend himself.

"Robert? What are you saying?" Cora stepped toward her husband for an answer, voicing the Duke's wonder as to what could have possibly occurred in the last two minutes for her husband to have suddenly cast aside his previous certainty of the Duke's innocence in the matter.

"Only the truth."

"What truth Papa?" Lady Mary stood behind her parents with her sister, as confused as their mother in what had changed their father's mind.

"That we have been harbouring a fiend."

"What do you mean Robert?" Her Ladyship said, looking at the Duke as if his appearance would affirm or negate such a thing.

The Duke appealed to her doubts, "Please Cora, I have no idea what Robert's talking about."

"Of course you do, I have seen the proof and you are lucky I do not call the police." Lord Grantham threatened him.

"What proof?" The Duke spat in offence.

"Proof that could lock you away for a very long time." Lord Grantham challenged him.

"I have employed Mr Barrow into my services, why would I hurt him, why would he still come with me?" The Duke moved to reason in absence of a response to the mysterious evidence, the existence of which set the Duke on edge. "Mr Barrow himself said that I had done nothing to him."

Lord Grantham came towards the Duke, who shifted nervously, but His Lordship leaned in to the Duke's ear and whispered something indistinctly to him. The Duke turned white. His silence affirming his guilt in Lord Grantham's eyes.

"If you come within ten miles of Downton I will have you arrested for trespassing." His Lordship warned, "Now get out of my sight." Lord Grantham barked, giving the Duke no cause to think he would reign victorious as a result of any challenge he could make.

"You can't do this."

"Don't tell me what I can and cannot do on my property!" Lord Grantham bellowed, having no intention of losing his right to authority on his own property.

"What about Mr Barrow? Can you tell _him_ what to do? He's my employee now. Why don't you ask him what he wants?" The Duke made his final attempt to take what he believed was his, as he looked to Thomas to speak up for him, knowing he would say whatever he wanted lest he risk the well being of the blonde footman, and not to mention himself.

"Because I cannot rely on anything he says before you not to have been twisted by fear." Lord Grantham could see the matter clearly, and Thomas, who was begging not to be involved, was grateful for that. "Mr Barrow stays."

"Or what?"

"I'll have you arrested for kidnapping."

"How? When he wants to come with me." The Duke grew desperate, for no one was ever allowed to steal what was his, and sidled up next to Thomas to hold onto the back of his coat should the under butler try to escape from him.

Lord Grantham studied Thomas' fear stricken face. "I don't think he does." The Duke's expression turned into one of anger, causing practically every man present to step torward him, as the women stepped away, thinking the Duke was going to strike Lord Grantham.

"Let him go." Mr Branson came up beside His Lordship protectively, giving the Duke an eye which told him that even if Lord Grantham were too much of a gentlemen to let things get physical, he was certainly not. The Duke analysed the young Irishman, and considered whether he would have a chance against him, but he knew he was alone against many more bodies than just Tom's, and so did the only thing he could and released Thomas, whose fragile form was guided away by Mr Branson to stand behind the shield he and His Lordship would provide.

The Duke looked at Thomas, seething with rage. "You haven't heard the last of this." He said to Lord Grantham, but that prior glance saw the warning pass to the under butler.

"I think I have." Lord Grantham retorted confidently.

With a sneer the Duke made for the safety of the car which hastily drove off into the distance. It all seemed so simple, it was hardly believable that he had gone and it was all over, just like that.

No one spoke, what could be said? But all felt relief, and pity for the under butler, who did not notice their sympathetic eyes as he lifted his head to the clouds, where he could breathe free air again, a smile forming across his lips, as he was helped inside by friendly hands; back into Downton, back home, and back to Jimmy.

* * *

**Hope you are all satisfied with how things turned out. Part of me wanted them to be too late, and the Duke to have taken Thomas away, but how could I do that? Just far too cruel.**

**So, who's happy? :D**


	21. A New Dawn

**Last chapter! We are finally here. Please enjoy this final installment of ****_Withering Dawn, _****with my eternal gratitude to you all for reading.**

**Apologies for any spelling/ grammar mistakes.**

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Jimmy's stomach was in knots. He could not move from the gravel outside. His fingers played with the small stones beneath him, he rubbed the edge of one against the skin of his thumb and waited to see if it would draw blood. It wouldn't. He didn't notice when stones crunched nearby. He didn't turn his head or divert his eyes. A figure in a green dress crouched before him, a female finger touched his chin. He allowed his head to be raised and his vision suddenly filled with bright blue eyes locking with his, eyes which narrowed with the rising of the cheeks below them as the girl before him smiled. A smile which Jimmy mirrored as he knew in this moment that he was saved, that his tears could turn into those of happiness, for he knew that Thomas was staying. With the help of the girl, he stood up and fell into her joyous embrace and they both laughed into each other's shoulders. He made to run indoors to find Thomas but the girl wouldn't let him, for she had gone to find Jimmy once Lord Grantham had been apprised of the truth, and so as they exchanged words so were Lord Grantham and the Duke.

In the time they had, Victoria told Jimmy of events as they had transpired that morning; just as if it were an ordinary occurrence and that she hadn't helped changed two men's lives forever. When she finished Jimmy took her in his arms and raised her from the ground, he felt guilty that he could not do the same for Mrs Hughes as he would like to, otherwise he would have to tell her the extent of his involvement, which he was not ready to do yet. The gossip mongers soon brought news to the pair that the Duke had left but without Thomas, for reasons unknown to them. Jimmy left Victoria and ran upstairs, hoping to catch Thomas, but much to his dismay he was forbidden to do so. The under butler was sent straight up to his room, so Jimmy had to wait until later to go and see him, and that was only if he was up to it. Doctor Clarkson was sent for as soon as the servants returned inside from seeing off the Duke, and he prescribed for Thomas a period of undisturbed recuperation, but it had not escaped his notice that Thomas was extremely agitated, particularly when he was asked to remove his clothes before undergoing physical examination. He told Lord Grantham to ensure he was kept in a stress free environment for a while, as he suspected the extent of Thomas' hurt had not spared his psychological state. He added quietly to Thomas himself that if he should still feel unsettled after a couple of weeks he should come to the surgery where further support would be arranged for him.

Jimmy was not made to wait in solitude to see Thomas, worrying for his own future, as Lord Grantham summoned him to divulge his side of the story, for attacking the Duke the way he did was not the right conduct, not in his home. However, in light of the difficult situation and the trauma it had clearly brought for all involved, Lord Grantham believed that enough harm had been done, so the matter would be swept under the rug, and maybe a punch in the jaw was the least the Duke deserved. Jimmy was sent back to work, happily as it meant he could keep himself busy, determined to see the day fly by as he was desperate for Thomas' company, to see him, laugh with him, touch him, maybe kiss him if the under butler allowed him to, just to make sure this was real and he was still there.

No one knew about Jimmy's attack on the Duke, which was for the best to avoid any stupid questions from the maids, but it didn't stop them asking about why Mr Barrow had not gone with the Duke, to which Jimmy answered drolly; 'Because he loves us all too much'. The footman meanwhile waited impatiently for those glorious words from Mr Carson when lunchtime came; "Alfred could you take a tray up for Mr Barrow?" so Jimmy could swoop in and take it before Alfred could say "Yes Mr Carson". The footman was up those stairs in a flash, nearly spilling the pot of tea he carried precariously over himself. If he didn't worry so much about the consequences and Thomas' need for sustenance he would have cast the entire tray to the floor so he could reach the under butler just those vital seconds sooner. It brought him no end of happiness when he opened the door with Thomas' name still on it, and saw the man himself lying in his bed, his eyes closed in sleep. Jimmy hated to wake him for he looked so peaceful. So still. Just perfect. Whatever the pious would say; god had sculpted this man for him. Jimmy put the tray down on the table and sat on a chair he brought to Thomas' bedside, brushing that same troublesome hair away from Thomas' forehead, and whispered. "Thomas, wake up."

The eyes of the sleeping man flickered awake unwillingly. "Jimmy?"

Jimmy was reassured when the under butler was at least smiling and making an effort to sit up slightly so he could properly engage with him. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired, but better for seeing you." Thomas genuinely meant this, now knowing that Jimmy was safe he could resume his former manner towards the footman, but in what way he could not be sure. He was fragile and vulnerable, and hoped Jimmy could see that and not construe anything he said as flirtation. "I can't believe I'm here. What happened? How did his Lordship find out the truth?"

"You have Victoria to thank for that."

"Victoria?" Thomas squinted confusedly at the name of the young audacious housemaid. "I thought it were you."

"No. I might have punched the Duke in the face and nearly lost me job, but it were Victoria who figured out everything and told Mrs Hughes; they both discovered what was going on in time and told his Lordship. So we were both saved." Jimmy recounted what the maid had told him outside.

"He believed them? But not you?"

"They had your bloodied underwear." Jimmy said cautiously, knowing this would sting Thomas' pride, pride which had already been torn by the Duke's actions, but that was not the first thing that drew Thomas' attention.

"That's impossible, I burned it."

Jimmy thought of the rusty can outside and Thomas saying that he was tying up loose ends, when all along the evidence was lying right there in front of him at the bottom of the can; the footman was so grateful that he had come along at just the right time and stopped him. "You only burned some of it. Victoria and Mrs Hughes managed to take your underwear from the can when they saw you were talking to me."

"You mean, everyone has seen?"

"Only Victoria, Mrs Hughes, Mr Carson and his Lordship." Jimmy said with some attempt at belittling the damage done.

"Is that all?" Thomas was unable to accompany his sarcasm with widening eyes, as they were too heavy for him to lift.

"Would you rather that or be with the Duke?"

"When you put it like that-"Thomas thought on where he would be right now had his Lordship not seen the objects of his shame, and seeing Jimmy's dear face he knew that it was worth it to be here, but he was scared for what was to come next; the commitment he hoped the footman wasn't expecting from him right at that moment.

Jimmy read Thomas' thoughts, as the under butler gave him such a troubled look. "I understand if you need time. I know the Duke hurt you in more ways than one and it'll be hard for you to trust anyone right now, but I want you to know I'll wait."

Thomas wanted to say that he didn't need to wait, that it was all fine, but it wasn't, and even though he could love this boy for saying these things with such understanding, the matter was no longer absolute. Thomas interlocked his fingers to keep them from betraying his restless state as he was torn between coaxing the footman to lie beside him or to ask him to leave. "I'll need to see Victoria. I need to thank her."

"You will, just rest a while first." Jimmy told him, his eyes soft and kind in a way Thomas was not used to seeing.

'Is this the real Jimmy?' He asked himself. If so, he would be glad for it. "I feel so lucky." He managed to say through all his wondering.

"So do I." Jimmy whispered.

The two men took a moment to contemplate this good fortune, that by chance this girl had come along at just the right time, had seen the right things, and told the right person. For Thomas it was the first time in his life that he truly felt luck was on his side. Jimmy looked at the clock on the bed side table and groaned in reluctance at having to make his excuses to leave before Mr Carson sent Alfred to come and find him. Thomas made the footman promise to return to him as soon as the day was over, but Jimmy did not need to be forced into such an oath, for the rest of the day would only be lived to see Thomas again that night.

* * *

As Jimmy returned downstairs it was a pleasant surprise for him to be inundated by questions regarding Thomas' health. The only one who didn't was O'Brien; even Alfred made an effort as he came into the kitchen, ready to help Jimmy take up the upstairs' luncheon.

"How's Mr Barrow?" He asked.

"He's Mr Barrow; so he'll be fine. Didn't think you'd care."

"I weren't the last time he got beat up, but a second time in three months-"

"He's been unlucky." Jimmy said ironically after Thomas' declaration of new found fortune.

"I was wondering, maybe you and I could be mates like?" Alfred asked him.

For once, Jimmy was scared by the scowling second footman who dwarfed him; it was a terribly suspicious thing to ask considering their history, "Why?"

"You've kept away from Ivy, like you said, and I'm grateful." Jimmy could see that Alfred chose his moment while Ivy was in the larder, as after what Jimmy did to her it wouldn't help Alfred with her to be his friend. Since the incident Ivy had only given Jimmy the time of day to pass him an ill look, he was beginning to think she was being unreasonable, not that he cared, he had Thomas, and having Thomas in any way was better than having Ivy.

"Good, because she seems to hate me."

"Yeah, she does," Jimmy gave a look of shock at the second footman's honesty, and knew Alfred had worsened matters for him by taking his advice in telling Ivy what a jerk he is, "but with us I think things can be different now." Alfred continued, hoping perhaps to make reparations for his slander.

"Sure, why not?" It wouldn't hurt to have a friend, Jimmy thought, especially now he knew the truth about himself things would only get harder for him.

"What is it with you and Ivy? It's like you're obsessed!" The shrill voice of the assistant cook intervened. Daisy had never understood what it was that Alfred saw in the kitchen maid, and even though she and Ivy had become friends she still harboured jealous thoughts which sometimes slipped out ungraciously.

"I don't know Daisy, I guess that's what happens when you fall in love."

Daisy's face dropped, like it had done when she was told the Titanic had sunk. "You mean you-"

"Oi, there's no time for standing around chatting, take that tray up!" Mrs Patmore bustled in; ever since Jimmy started working at Downton it seemed her job was to keep the errant footmen out of her kitchen. "And dare I ask what's the matter with you?" The cook stood beside Daisy, who was frozen in sadness. She thought before she answered, but she knew that what she was going to say was right.

"Mrs Patmore, can I have a word?"

* * *

The day's end could not have come quick enough. As soon as Jimmy was given the word he bolted upstairs, changed into something more comfortable and went to Thomas' room. The under butler was this time awake, and Jimmy wondered if he had been waiting up for him. He did not ask, as he'd like to keep hold of that fantasy that Thomas wanted to see him as much as he wanted to see Thomas. He took a seat beside his bed and they passed conversation as they normally would, of events throughout the day, and Jimmy left the best until last.

"Blimey, you and Alfred as mates." Thomas considered, "Who'd have thought it? Our list of allies is growing." He smiled out of the corner of his mouth.

"And we have Victoria and Mrs Hughes."

"Can't believe I used to friends with O'Brien." Thomas compared the scheming ladies' maid to the kindness of the housekeeper and house maid.

"Me neither, but that's all in the past." Jimmy took a breath before saying; "Now we have to think about the future."

"I'm not sure I'm up for philosophy tonight." Thomas winced as he straightened up, his rear was still in pain, and Jimmy did not know it yet, but there was a large bruise on Thomas' back from where the Duke had forced him into one of the bed posts.

"Don't worry I won't even mention existentialism." Jimmy reassured him.

"Good; or there'll be trouble." The pair smiled, but as Thomas leaned back his injury was pushed into the metal frame of his bed, and he grimaced painfully.

"Thomas? What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"I don't believe that. Tell me, please, even if it's awful." Thomas gave him an unsure look but told him what happened to his back, but refusing to let him see. He was only pleased it was where neither he nor anyone else could see it or know it existed. But fresh worries came to him as they spoke of it and the man who caused it.

"What if he comes back? What if he comes for you?"

It was here that Jimmy really felt how badly Thomas had been affected by the Duke, a worry that the man would never leave him; that he would never move on, even the possibility that he would always be in danger from him. "He won't. You heard his Lordship; if he comes within ten miles of you he'll get arrested. He doesn't scare me. You don't need to be scared." Jimmy brought the chair closer to the bed so he could look deeply into Thomas' eyes as he said this, "The only thing that scares me is being without you for a single day." Jimmy wiped away a tear which ran down Thomas' cheek, tracing his finger along his jawline to prolong the feeling of his beautifully soft skin. Thomas closed his eyes to devote more of his senses to experiencing that touch, which Jimmy mistook for tiredness. "Do you want me to go, so you can sleep?"

"No. Stay with me, please." Thomas asked, "I shouldn't say it, but I feel safer when you're with me."

"Why shouldn't you say it?"

"I feel like I should be the one protecting you, keeping you safe."

"You do," Jimmy said, both realising that now Thomas had suffered twice to defend the younger man, "but it doesn't mean I can't take care of you too." Jimmy placed his hand on the bed, just centimetres from Thomas' fist. The under butler looked down to their unoccupied hands lying there, how empty and lonesome they seemed. Thomas uncurled his fingers slowly, his open hand daring to invite Jimmy's into his own. The footman's fingers floated across the bed sheet and settled onto Thomas', who stroked them nervously with his thumb. There was no revulsion, no rejection, no harm; this step had taken so long and had come at such a price it was hard to believe that it was happening. But it _was_ happening, and both men laughed at this impossible reality. Jimmy slid his hand further into Thomas', their palms together, and Jimmy gently traced his index finger in a circle on Thomas' wrist. Thomas wanted to trust Jimmy, but the Duke made it so difficult for him to. He had been beaten so many times he wasn't sure how many more he could take. He had been broken, battered, and bloodied, in every way, and next time survival was not an option. Thomas wanted to be saved, and this darling boy was asking to save him, but one thing troubled Thomas; could he let him?

Just a few hours later the room had grown incessantly darker with just a candle burning on the bed side table. Thomas opened his eyes and saw a figure in front of him; he had to stop himself crying out in terror before his eyes adjusted to the image of the footman who had fallen asleep in the chair, their hands still holding onto each other, refusing to part. Thomas watched the footman sleep for a few minutes, as he calmed himself down, and caressed the hand he held, grateful for it being there as its presence brought him comfort in that he was not alone. He nearly brought the hand to his lips, but if he was going to kiss Jimmy again he was determined that they both be awake this time. Creeping out of bed, his knees cracking after being immobile for so long, Thomas endeavoured to get dressed quietly, but failed as Jimmy stirred from the chair and saw Thomas changing into his daily garb.

"Uh, excuse me, where do you think you're going?" Jimmy stood, his arms folded crossly.

"I thought we might go for a walk." Thomas smiled weakly as he wrapped his scarf about his neck.

"Are you up to it?"

"I just needed some sleep, I feel like some fresh air and a stretch of me legs." Thomas shrugged his coat on.

'Thomas did have medical experience', Jimmy thought, "All right, if you're sure, I'll just get me coat."

* * *

Thomas and Jimmy trudged along the pathway towards the woods, shielded by the friendly darkness of the early autumnal morning; they walked miles, talking about everything and nothing, it was as if time had set itself back to just over a week ago before the Duke arrived. When he was with Jimmy, Thomas felt he could forget everything and just enjoy being with the footman. They realised just how far away they were from the house as they came across that shed which provided them refuge from the rain some days ago.

"Hopefully it won't rain this time." Jimmy commented as he saw it, Thomas turning his head to the direction of Jimmy's words.

"Why not? I wouldn't mind being stuck in a shed with you for a few hours."

"Didn't work out so well last time." Jimmy recalled his foolishness at his decision that night to ask Ivy to be his girl.

"You were confused."

"That's the thing, I wasn't really. I talked about what my perfect someone would be like, and I don't know, I think maybe I was just listing the things I love about you." Jimmy stopped as he felt his footsteps had continued on alone. He turned to find Thomas standing behind him, waiting for the footman to continue speaking, wanting to just hear his words and not the crush of leaves and stones beneath his feet. Jimmy walked back to Thomas, closing the distance enough so he could touch him, but not enough to pressure him, as he spoke the things he wish he had said when they were in the shed that night , "To be honest, I may as well have just said, 'a female version of you', but the funny thing is, from what I can remember, I never mentioned wanting those things in a 'woman', in just 'someone', and it's like I knew all the time that that someone were a man... that it were you. I were just too scared to admit it. Ashamed." Jimmy hung his head, feeling greater shame now than for that same feeling before.

"And now?"

"I'm not afraid." Jimmy raised his head, in revelation, like every word was a fresh discovery about himself, "When I'm with you I'm not afraid of telling myself that I'm like you. My God, can't believe I said that, but it's true, and it feels good because it's true; to finally be honest with myself." Jimmy smiled, and Thomas put his hand on the footman's shoulder, still meaning to keep the distance between them.

"And I couldn't be prouder, or happier."

"Nor I, and when you're ready, I want to be with you. I need you Thomas Barrow, and I want you in every ungodly way imaginable."

Those words, this man speaking them, brought Thomas' hands to his face to control his happiness as he laughed.

"What?" Jimmy suddenly felt he had said something incredibly wrong.

"That's it." Thomas lowered his hands and Jimmy saw raw emotion lying there, ready to move him to its will.

"What?"

"When I told you I was leaving, and I asked you for a reason to make me stay; that was what I was waiting for you to say. You told me you _couldn't_ ignore your feelings, I wanted you to say that you didn't _want_ to ignore your feelings; that you_ wanted_ to be with me."

"Of course I want that." Jimmy stepped closer in earnest, "I want that more than anything. I want _you_ more than anything." The footman's hand found Thomas' chest as he looked up to his face, the under butler swallowed his anxiety, their eyes meeting, unsteady breaths warming the other's skin.

"I want so badly to trust you." Thomas said shakily.

"And you can. I am not him. You were with him less than a week. I have been with you since the day I walked into the servant's hall for the first time. You have seen every side to me; that likes girls, likes men, the certain, the uncertain, the angry, the terrified. If you looked for one hundred years you will never see another side. Not that I could expect you to see beyond the one that just wants to be with you, because that feeling is all I am. I am not, nor will I ever be him... Do you think I'm like him?"

Thomas raised his hands and pulled off his gloves, pocketing them nervously; not caring about the cold, nor exposing his mutilated hand to Jimmy, who was so focussed on the Thomas' beauty and the want for his touch he didn't even see it. Raising his palm to Jimmy's face Thomas rested it upon his cheek, and stroked the footman's soft hair with his fingers. Jimmy removed his cap into his pocket, so his view of the magnificent countenance of the under butler was not obscured in this most significant of moments. Thomas reflected back on his memories, Jimmy on one side, the Duke on the other, and as he looked into Jimmy's eyes and saw only the same beauty Jimmy could see in Thomas at that moment, he smiled, "No. Thank God... No."

Grateful he was not wearing gloves, Jimmy slid one hand upon Thomas' waist, the other up the older man's chest to the side of his neck, and they each felt the other's pull into a kiss. A soft yet deepening pressure of warm, moist lips pressed against each other in divine posture. It was small, it was simple, but what could be more so than this? A gentle tenderness of a feeling meaning to be savoured for a lifetime. Their fingers clutched at each other in restrained desire as their lips parted hesitantly.

"I feel like I've slipped into one of me dreams." Thomas chuckled as he stroked Jimmy's face with his delicate fingertips.

"I hope not." Jimmy said, "I hope this is better."

"I would give up all me dreams if I could stay in this here moment."

"Then stay." Jimmy breathed longingly as his lips fell into Thomas', his body sinking into his strong chest, the under butler wrapping his arms about him and holding him in an embrace. Their lips crashing together like waves upon rock. No matter what the law said, these men were joined by forces beyond any that nature could muster. It was like she had thrown up a curtain about them which barred them from the world in just this instance of perfection. Thomas opened his mouth to enclose Jimmy's lips in his, as the footman followed Thomas' movements, tilting his head to melt more of his lips against the older man's. His fingers passed through Thomas' flowing hair, free from pomade, as Thomas crushed the young blonde to him, supporting his head with his hand while the other trailed up Jimmy's back and came to his neck to cherish more of his skin as the pressure between their lips gave way into something intrinsically delicate. Wandering fingertips, purposed with sensuality, padded strongly into the nape of Jimmy's neck, commanding the emission of a hum as the blonde's hands clutched Thomas' hair in desperation. The older man pulled on Jimmy's upper lip ever so slightly in a prolonging of their kiss as they came to separate.

"I could get very used to this Mr Barrow." Jimmy smiled, as their foreheads rested on each other, the under butler continuing to massage the skin of Jimmy's neck, before planting a small signature kiss upon his lips.

"Not too much I hope or we'll never get any work done, I'll run out of excuses to be alone with you; even if I am your superior." Jimmy trembled as Thomas' breath baited his skin and his lips touched against his forehead. "By the way, now we're alone, can I ask you something?"

"What might that be?"

"Did Alfred really say he could have me if he wanted me?"

**The End**

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**There you have it! I hope you have enjoyed my story and I want to thank you all so very very much for reading, following, favouriting, and reviewing. It has meant so much to me, I can't even say; that you have given me your time, your intrigue, your patience, and your attention. **

**Did you think I was going to leave it hanging in the air like that? Of course not. Look out for ****_Veiled Moonlight, _****my sequel to ****_Withering Dawn. _However it maybe a few weeks until the first chapter goes up as I am currently writing a humour piece to balance my mind in preparation after all the intensity of this story and my even darker plans for _Veiled Moonlight. _****The plot for the sequel will be much broader, and longer; believe me it will be quite a journey (very exciting and challenging for me) exploring a wide range of issues yet still focussing on life downstairs in the Abbey, but the main ingredient will very much be Thomas and Jimmy's new found relationship and the endless struggles they will have to endure. **

**Thank you all again, you have been a most terrific audience, and I hope I have been, and will continue to be, a satisfactory entertainer.**


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